So I stumbled across this article 8 Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Porn not because I think my girl friend is addicted to porn (though it would be fucking sweet if she was) but I have often worried whether or not the world of smut has finely taken control of me. Thank god I found that it is still just a hobby and I am not addicted. According to this article your partner will most likely fall under these 8 symptoms so to speak.
"1. Your partner is not as social as he used to be.
He is excusing himself from activities, has unexplained absences, and is not able to account for his time. He has little interest in socializing with you or making time for others, including his family.
2. Your partner lacks interest in sex or is sexually unresponsive.
You’re noticing a decrease in physical affection and non-sexual touch. If you have sex, it’s because you are the one initiating it. Your partner is having trouble becoming sexually aroused (for example, achieving erection or having an orgasm).
Furthermore, your partner needs more and more stimulation to get turned on and release. He has developed a strong interest in sexual practices that seem a little out of left field. No matter what, both of you are feeling largely dissatisfied post-sex.
3. Your partner is being uncharacteristically demanding or rough during sex.
You’re feeling pressured to engage in sexual activities that are either physically or emotionally uncomfortable to you. Your partner is using atypical sexual language. He seems to be objectifying you and he has no qualms about it.
4. Your partner does not seem “present.”
Your lover has become emotionally distant during sex. You’re starting to feel sexually rejected or neglected. In or out of the bedroom, you and your partner can no longer describe yourselves as emotionally intimate.
5. Your partner has started to nit-pick your appearance.
Your partner seems more and more concerned about what you look like, and if you’re sexually attractive “enough.” He might make cutting remarks about your weight or shape. He’s also making insensitive sexual comments, which make you feel like a sex object.
6. You feel like you’re no longer getting straight answers from your lover.
You suspect that much of what is being said these days are white lies. Answers to your questions seem vague and nonsensical. He’s defensive when asked about porn use.
Yet you are finding evidence of hiding, lying, and secretive behavior, including porn materials you didn’t know about. Maybe your partner maintains a private e-mail address, has his own credit card, and/or has an unknown cell phone account.
7. Your partner is practically wed to the Internet.
He spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, often demanding privacy and/or changing his bedtime ritual. As a result, he has eye problems from spending long hours on the computer. He may also complain of back, wrist, neck or shoulder pain.
8. You’ve noticed a change in your partner’s demeanor.
Your partner just doesn’t seem like himself. He has trouble calming down and sleeping. His moods and interests are different. It may even be to the point you’re wondering if his mental health is okay. Feeling like a “sex pervert” can lead him to negative emotional outbursts such as picking fights and holding grudges in order to justify his secret porn use."
I find this so funny because apparently if you are addicted to porn you dont want to have sex with your girlfriend. Right there I new I was all good, because when I pop in one of my favorites like Jumbo Combo #17, Butt-Er-Face Babes, or Grand Theft Anal the first thing that comes to my mind is "oh my god I am totally trying A2M with my girl tonight" unfortunately I am never allowed to do such things. The point is when I watch porn I feel closer to my partner. Another one I loved is the whole part about nit picking your partners appearance. Hmmm, have you ever seen a porn? Most good porn has chicks in it that I wouldnt fuck with Noels dick. Especially in the new age of High Res porn where every blemish from stretch marks to ingrown hairs, to that cigarette burn on her butt cheeks. Christ usually I am dying to turn down the lights and tell my girl just have fucking beautiful she is. However I think the most telling sign that I am not addicted to porn is my openess surrounding my liking of it. I feel no need to hide the fact that I subscribe to Penthouse, that my three favorite blogs are links to free porn, or that I once filled my college computer with 20 gig worth of bang bus and milf hunter. I am not shamed to admit any of that because I enjoy the simple things that porn offers. So gals listen up, I am going to break it down to you straight. We are not addicted to porn, we love to watch it, fucking deal with it. So without further adieu the top 10 reasons I love me some porn.
#10 The Only Place Squirting is a Reality: Im telling you this shit is a fucking myth. I have traveled the earth far and wide to find a girl that could recipricate my favorite pass time yet nothing. However you type squirt into a google search and drips of moisture will be coming down your screen.
#9 Its Always Good For a Laugh: Now some porn is meant to be taken seriously however most porn that I am interested in is for amusement only. Take this one site I found called back room facials. The whole premise is this guy runs a fake modeling business tests the "goods" and then the obvious facial before he tells them they didnt get the job. Still this guy is a fucking comedian with classic lines like "whats that girl theres a fire in the barn?" or "you cum, your out of here" I cant make this shit up!
#8 Fake is Great: In the porn world one thing is always true, the bigger the better. That isnt always the case in the real world. I dont want my girl to be totally redone with plastic surgery but I sure as hell dont mind some porn star taking her hard earned money and enhancing what for sure has been enhanced 40 times before.
#7 Women Actually Enjoy Sex? Wow didnt know that: I tell you what either lady porn stars are the best actresses in the world or some women truly enjoy sex. I love seeing the response of these babes, screaming and yelling and what not. Man these guys are good!
#6 You Never Know Where the Next Click Will Lead: I have been to what I thought is the deepest darkest spots on the Web. However when you are on a good four hour porn bender each click, each download, each pop up is better than the last.
#5 You Put What Where?: I have seen it all from double penetration to double fish hooks, it never seizes to amaze me what the porn world will come up with next. Christ you can look for days and days and never see the same thing twice.
#4 So Thats What a Real Man Looks Like: Now I have been through this before on the blog but seriously, I got a little dick. However unlike being fat and hating the look of that guy cut out of stone, I actually love seeing some dude with 10" hangin. I am so like "now I know why I cannot make my girl happy in the sack" it is the simple physics.
#3 Seriously I Read The Articles: I have been a subsriber to Penthouse for 2 years now and I will until I find little Matthew crackin it to poppas stash. This is one of the best publications I have ever read.
#2 Help Your Technique: Cmon guys how many times have you pulled a move straight out of the playbook of your favorite star. Shit I owe every thing I do well and probably poorly to some to those guys. Love life stale? Try something new, you sure as shit aint just going to make something up. Well unless you are C$$$ and you break out the "El Gordo Dedo" thanks for telling me about that one to man!
#1 Porn Sure is Hell Aint Reality: Ladies this is the most important. I would compare it to your need to watch sex in the city or those stupid fucking romantic comedies. You just love wishing that could happen to you some day. Meet mister right and have him sweep you off your feet and live a happy ending, well suck a fart right out of my ass. The truth is guys need that to but we arent looking for Mrs. Right, we have probably already found her. We want to think about that nurse who or teacher who had to help us out along the way. We arent trying to replace you ladies, we just like to let our minds drift. We will always come back to what is real, because and I cannot speak for all those porn addicts out there, but the real thing is so much better.
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3 comments:
Just want to clarify one thing.
A2M = Ass-to-Mouth
I have to call shenanigans on the "squirting isn't real" comment. I've never seen it in person, but I have it on good authority that it happens.
In grad school, a good friend and classmate of mine was dating this broad who was also in our class. We'll call him "Bill" and her "Loari," mainly because those are their actual names. Most of us were new in town, just moved there for school, so a group of about 5 or 6 of us hung out with one another constantly.
Playing cards, drinking, going out on the town, whatevs.
Well, it leaks out - no pun intended - that Bill and Loari got a thang goin' on. They hide it for a while, but finally Bill spills it - no pun intended. Anyway, the gist of the story is that Loari squirts.
Ever the inquisitive type, I inquire, "You mean, like it just gets really wet?"
The answer, "No, I mean, like if my hand wasn't there she would have hit the wall with that shit."
He wasn't bragging or making it up, because it was obvious he was half-way uncomfortable with the situation. I chalked it up as a "maybe so" and went back to the library to study.
Fast forward to several months later. Loari and I are fairly decent friends, even as she and Bill are on-again-off-again lovers/fighters. She is pretty candid and will discuss anything. There was never anything at all going on between me and Loari, but she was kind of an attention whore and would ask me things like, "Just so I know, how should a girl's bush be trimmed?" Suffice it to say, Bill owes me a lot of beers for that fresh mohawk I convinced her to get. He reported that she followed my instructions to the letter.
Anyway, during one of these candid conversations, Loari discloses to me that she, in fact, does have a "discharge" when she has an orgasm, and "that it's like, a LOT." She's telling me because she wants to know if guys think it is weird.
Now, I have Bill spouting off - no pun intended - about it, and then Loari herself breaks loose - no pun intended - and directly corroborates his story. There it is, then. Squirting happens.
Anyway, I explained to her that I had never seen it happen in real life, but that there was a whole sub-genre of porn dedicated to it, and that some guys apparently are really, really into it. It's kind of a novelty.
Well, she was relieved to hear that and set out to search the internet for her sisters. Quite frankly, once she realized it was celebrated in some circles, she was gushing with pride - no pun intended.
True story.
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