Sasquatch lives! Well I guess not in this case

You can call me whatever you want, but I have been following this all god damn day. When I heard someone found a dead Yeti in Georgia, one thing popped into my head..."FINALLY!" I am absolutely enthralled in the concept that another species closely resembling a human walking the earth, other than a shit throwing, piss drinking hobo...I mean ape exist. Earlier in the week El Chupacabre was filmed by a state patrol men in Texas running down a dirt road. I mean damn talk about some crazy shit whats next, FOX tells the press the X-Files was really the first reality series? I really hope this shit is real. I think this may unite the country, rebuild the Twin Towers, shave Chuck Norris's beard, rebuild the housing market, finally call Bill Gates gay to his gay ass face. I dont know I could go on for days as to what this may do, but fuck this is huge news. I am picturing G.W. Bush standing in front of the world in a late night press conference and saying only this "We got em'" and walking out. I would re-elect that douche right then and there if I could.