"Fuck it" List

You guys are probably well aware of a bucket list, or a list of things to do before you die or are no longer able to. Well today I introduce the "fuck it" list or a list of things that at one point in your life you may have thought, "hey I can do that" but now you realize there is no chance that you ever actually do it.

- Run any sort of race. Look my body type is made for water not land, the only time I run is on a basketball court and that could be argued that I am just fast walking while I am out there. I am in horrible shape, but I will never get back into shape running. I don't understand the fad. My mother who is nearly 60 (luckily she doesn't read this because she tells everyone she is under 50) is running a triathlon this summer. God bless her because it is something that is just not in my make-up so fuck it!

- Skydiving, base jumping, bungee jumping. I had planned on conquering my fear of heights at some point in my life. I am not the dare devil type, and I just don't see myself paying money to scare the living shit out of myself, and risk my life while I am at it. Gravity works extra hard on me, no need to fight that.

- Opening up my own strip club. Wow many of you know this has been a dream of mine for some time. However I cannot see myself bringing my daughter to take your daughter to work day at a rip club. I guess some dreams just were not meant to come true.

- Going on another spring break with the boys. I have had the pleasure to go on a couple of awesome spring breaks, I have done Panama City, Fort Meyers Beach, Houston, Cancun. During our last trip we discussed getting together one last time for an epic spring break. Well the next time I see myself going on a vacation will most likely be Disney land with the family. Sorry boys, but we should have planned it for this spring, because I have the next 25 years or so booked.

- Two chicks at the same time. I should put an asterisk next to this one because the chances of this happening at all were slim. The chances of this happening now that I have a girl friend I love very much, and I child due to join us in August, and those slim chances are probably cut in thirds. If you throw in the fact that penis looks like a grub worm wearing a turtle neck then I would say the chances are grave at best. Damn it. I am hoping my girlfriend will make a Larry Davidesque pack with me and on our 10 year anniversary she allows me to bring another woman to bed. I will let you know.

So those are five things that I am saying fuck it to, just wasn't meant to be, life is too short. Now it is time for you to give me your "fuck it" list.