Normally I would save this until a couple of days before the first big Badger tailgates, but I found this link and it is absolutely spot on. It is basically a list describing the different type of tailgaters. I think I fall under the "Liquid Diet Guy"-
"This guy is only interested in one thing, getting hammered. You could have the greatest spread of tailgating food ever placed before mankind, this guy just wants to drink. Shots of tequila followed by Jell-o shots chased with a 24 oz. can of Bud. All in a day’s work for Liquid Diet Guy. Sadly, he overpaid for his ticket to the game or concert and gets too drunk to get in or is too wasted to even know who is playing."
Yeah... TK you want to attest to this? Seriously though check out this link and let me know what type of tailgater you are?!?
I would like to add I have also fallen under these tailgate party guys:
"The Devils Advocate" -doesnt root for either team playing, instead roots against the team my friends are cheering for. Usually making outrageous bets, and even for outrageous acusations. Sometimes causing fights between friends. "Bare down, Chicago Bears!"
"The Stoner"- Gets so stoned at the tailgate completely forgets that he is attending a game. Usually has bought snacks three times by the 1st quarter, and will be no good remembering where you parked!
"The Food and Beverage Thief"- This is different from the moocher. Instead you dont even pretend like you are just a nice guy looking for a couple of hand me outs. Instead you go the exact opposite route, and steal food and drink from vendors, and neighboring tail gates. This usually follows "The Liquid Diet Guy".
"The Fat Guy With a Little Head"- Yes this was my rock bottom moment when I was tipping the scales at nearly 3 bills. I made my size 7 5/8 noggin look out of proportion on my enourmous body. That is fat!
oh and my personal favorite!
"The Deal With It, Douchebag"- This clown has someone else throw a tailgate for him in which he only invites his friends. He drinks all day long in which many times he becomes too obnoxious for even the hosts to control. He will rip your gold wing to shreads and piss on the hood of your car. He can be spotted slapping bags of wine, or tipping over in chairs. Give him a ride home and he will puke all over your the backseat of your car and tell you to Deal With It. Get him home and he will strip down and act like nothing happened and then watch a world series game with his old man, like it is just another the day in the life...
Yeah this should do wonders in getting people to attend my next tailgate...
5 comments:
I had heard of "The Deal With It Douchebag," but I never believed it existed... until I was taking my car to an upholsterer to have the leather steam-cleaned inside out.
TK,
Oct 12 this year will mark the 5 yr anniversary to the greatest Badger game ever. We should throw a tailgate!
That really was one of the best nights ever, just from all the sheer hilarity from your birthday mixed in with that awesome win.
Also Browne, I don't think I have ever seen you at a tailgate where you didn't eat your fill.
FYI, that monster night game win over OSU was Oct. 11, 2003. Your birthday didn't start until midnight after the game.
Conveniently, the Badgers are scheduled to play a home night game this year on Oct. 11, as well.
There will be a tailgate. Of course, my son will be about 6 or 7 weeks old by then, and he'll be dropping by with Grandma to check out the action. Try to set a decent example for the kid, will ya?
TK,
Dont worry Miles' first tailgate experience will be a good one. We will try and get some big ten poon over to give him an idea of what he is going to be chasing for the next 25 years or so. I will get him some quick trip milk in a bag that he can slap while the big boys have there wine!
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