Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'll see your Segway and raise you!!

Perhaps you don't know that my cousin Matt is painfully obsessed with Segways - the two-wheeled, motorized personal transportation devices - and their bold promise of eliminating human footsteps.

Well, Matt, what do you get when you combine Segway technology with a failing U.S. car company teetering on the brink of bankruptcy?

I give you PUMA - Personal Urban Mobility and Accessiblity. It's a two wheeled Segway made in partnership with General Motors and large enough for 2 passengers with a top speed of 35 mph and a lithium-ion battery with a 35 mile charge life. What's more, they claim it is a smart-car that can be logged into a computer network that will allow it to drive itself, interact with and avoid other vehicles in the process. Yes, folks, within 3 weeks or so, we will all be sitting in our PUMAs and texting our homeys while our commutes go oh-so-smoothly, cleanly and cheaply, all automatic.

Deal with it.

(No word on whether the vehicle will come equipped with the techno-porn music in this video. However, if it does, I will totally put the PUMA on autopilot and bone you to this jam.)

3 comments:

C-Weed said...

I think I just segwayed in my sweat pants!

Big Tasty said...

I would be lying if i told you my cock wasnt rock hard watching that video.

Anonymous said...

hilarious.