Are You Effin Kidding Me???

I present to you Bears playing hockey. This is pretty fucking crazy!

It's Time to Give Thanks....

Well as you know Thanksgiving is Tommorow and this year I have a lot to be thankful for. A beautiful new child, a loving girlfriend, great friends, great family, whats left of my health etc. However today I want to say thank you to all of the readers of this blog. I know you may be limited in numbers but for you faithful readers who continue to come back day after day to read shit that your probably just read on your favorite website, I thank you.

I figure what better way to thank everyone than to post two links that grade and link the best free porn sites on the internet. So get your big bottle of Jergens out and put your gizz guard on your keyboard, because it is about to get sticky in this bitch.

Warning NSFW!

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I Am Pretty Sure This Guy is Talking About Me

Great article in the Onion about going out the night before Thanksgiving. So true.

26 year old to see every asshole he ever went to school with the night before Thanksgiving

Ballin!

Above is a video about the greatest poker player in the world, Phil Ivey. Ivey is basically the person I want to trade shoes with. Being a proffesional gambler that makes anywhere between 10-25 million dollars a year being a degenerate. The video is a piece done for ESPN that basically follows him around for a week. It is hard not to get jealous.

I Find This Fad to Be Just Lovely

I have been seeing more and more pics of girls wearing the body paint jersey. What a fantastic look, now if we can get the body painted football pants, I could die a happy man.

linkage to more awesomeness

Cats Fur Gold

Act now gold prices are high cat inventory plentiful! Cats wont last forever get yours now

Humpday: Leighton Meester

These are some upcoming pics of Leighton, in GQ magazine. Enjoy!

Zach G

I am sure everyone has seen this but I will post it regardless.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

CRACK HEADS BE ACTIN ALL CATTY

Laser lights + crackhead = jail time.

LMF - The Dan Band

The Dan Band, led by the charismatic Dan Finnerty, is a lounge act that has dominated the LA scene with its performances of “songs by strong women,” with gratuitious profanity tossed in the mix. Nationally, they are best known for their appearance as the wedding entertainment in the film Old School, performing “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and more recently as the wedding band once again in the hit comedy The Hangover, performing "Candy Shop." However, in their hometown of LA, they are among the hottest tickets in town, and their shows are often attended by Hollywood stars and the beautiful people. They keep popping up in movies because directors, actors, and producers are attending their shows and love them. In fact, The Dan Band ended up with an amazingly well-produced concert special on Bravo! Network after Steven Spielberg attended the LA lounge show with friends. Spielberg was the executive producer of the special – how many bands can say that?

Legend has it that it all started when Dan Finnerty was challenged by friends to perform Helen Reddy's pathetic, psuedo-feminist anthem, "I Am Woman (Hear Me Roar)" at a karaoke bar. The crowd loved it so much that he thought there might be a successul act in this schtick.

I took advantage of the unique opportunity to see them perform live in Milwaukee at the basement bar of the Rave / Eagles Club venue. I believe that was in April of 2007. The band is tight, the music sounds great, Finnerty can sing, the absurd stage show is wildly entertaining and the funny but high-energy song choices make it like a boozy dance party. Not everybody in the house loves the songs, but everybody knows them, and Finnerty's raw enthusiasm makes you want to sing along - even if your friends see you doing it. My wife and I went to the show with another couple, celebrating my birthday and our friend Kathy’s birthday. We got hammered and had an absolute blast dancing to these somewhat stupid female pop songs, and I can see why it is such a major hit in LA. It’s just plain fun, and enjoying it openly means just letting yourself go a bit, which is refreshing.

If you want to check them out, hit the road. They will be doing the JACK FM Holiday Show in Chicago on Dec. 10, and what’s better than New Year’s Eve at Times Square (they will be doing two shows.) I will try to give an LMF heads up if I see that they are coming back to this area - after I've secured my tickets, of course.

I will leave you with the encore of their Bravo! special, featuring "Theme From Ice Castles," "You Oughta Know," and "Que Sera, Sera." Very entertaining shit.

A Little Something For The Ladies

Last week on Its Always Sunny, the crew was trying to capitalize on merchadise that could be sold at the bar. One of the funnier ideas was Mack's dick towel. Well his dream has come true. NSFW

DWI Readers, I Need Your Help

So tomorrow I will be pouring the cement in my basement to complete the drainage system my father and I installed last spring. It has been over a year since I have had my basement sanctuary at my disposal and it has been sorely missed. Although I only lived down there for a year and a half a lot of memories were racked up at the sports bar, and although i would never call my bed a work bench, I did put in a little. Those days seem like such distant memories but all that could be changing...

I am sure most of you are familiar with the term "Man Cave". A place in the home in which guys can have complete refuge from there lives and the outside world. A place where you can drink a beer with friends, host a fantasy football draft, spill queso dip on your robe, or clean your pistol without anyone complaining. It is a dream of all men to have a spot like this. When i lived with a bunch of guys, the whole fucking house was a man cave, I mean we did what the fuck we wanted, wherever and whenever we wanted. It was great. As you know however I now have a special lady friend that lives with me, and we also have our lovely daughter that has more shit than I do, and no place to put it. I mean it was great with Jenny moving in, my place was clean, smelled good, and the it was decorated. However it is hard to look at decorations like "live" "laugh" "smile" on the wall. It is almost disgusting to me the amount of pillows and nick nacks that have a home in every free space of the living room. Oh and the family pictures, my god, is there a lot of family pictures. In any regard, it is nice is small doses, but a man cannot feel comfortable staring at a picture of himself with the family, when it is constant reminder of that awful day. Trying to hold that fake smile, while his itchy sweater is making him want to strangle his extremely homosexual photographer, I am telling you it will drive me to insanity. Enough is enough, it is time for me to reclaim some of the space in the place I have worked so hard on, and readers I need your help.

I found a couple of good blog posts of things every man cave needs. You can read that hear I am not putting a fucking bar made out of an air plane engine, or stripper pole, or condom dispenser in my basement. So you can save your breath on those genius ideas. Also please remember that the entire space is going to be broken into two spaces, one for me, and a play room for my daughter, so the life size card board cut out of Tabitha Stevens deep throating a 13" kielbasa probably wont work. I need this to be a place where a child could stumble in and not be scarred for the rest of her life. Not to say that any woman, including my daughter, will be let in the place, but there is a very good chance at some point I am going to need a refill, or need the carpet vacuumed so I am being realistic. So please, all readers, if you care about my well being, and my future utility, please give me your best ideas for the man cave. I am counting on you.

Dock Ellis Throws a no no on LSD

Hat tip to With Leather. This is hilarious. Pretty great illustration to accompany Doc telling the tale of the no hitter he threw in 1970 while high on LSD

Humpday: Rachel Bilson

Say what you want to say about how shitty a show the OC was, but at least it gave us this beauty. I saw some pics of her on Holy Taco and I forgot how hot she was. Hat tip to them for reminding me.

The Recession Has No Limits

The recession is effecting everyone, and the music industry is no different. Teenage girls are no longer buying boy band cds, so the boy bands are reaching out to a different market. (I found this over at Film Drunk).

Timmay's Top Ten of the 2000's

So much for unanimity – my top ten shares only 2 titles with Big Tasty’s list. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

10. Stranger than Fiction (2006)
Harold Crick (Will Ferrell), a lifeless, lonely, and obsessive-compulsive IRS auditor's pathetic, boring life changes when he begins to hear a woman’s voice that seems to be narrating his every move and providing background details and foreshadowing, as if Harold were a character in a novel. I have never seen a film take the cliché of the human life as a storybook and lay it out in a truly refreshing fashion. Harold desperately seeks answers about his story. Is it a comedy? Is it a tragedy? Will Ferrell’s remarkable and unexpected performance earned a Golden Globe nomination. Maggie Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson all give first rate performances in this truly original film.

9. The Bourne Identity (2002)
I loved action thrillers as a kid, but as I matured I found virtually all of them to be so mindlessly implausible and lacking any compelling story that my disbelief could not be suspended enough to enjoy them. Along came the film adaptations of Robert Ludlum’s Jason Bourne novels. Intelligent, emotional and suspenseful stories that challenge the intellect and send the viewer’s mind spinning with conspiracy theories. Yes, the film delivers on explosive, kinetic action sequences, but each of them serves to advance the story in necessary, intelligent ways with emotional payoffs that drive the audience through the story, rather than jerk us off. I credit the Bourne trilogy with saving the action film genre. As with many things, the first time is the most memorable, so I'm giving the first chapter the nod.

8. Walk the Line (2006)
Disclaimer: I am a Cash fan, but you don’t have to be to enjoy this biographical film. This film tells the compelling story of Johnny Cash’s young life, from the poor son of an Arkansas cotton farmer to a megastar of country music, concluding with his legendary concert at Folsom Prison. Along the way, we find that Johnny’s life, failures, outlook and art are influenced heavily by the violent, childhood death of his brother and his bitter relationship with his disapproving father. The Man in Black is a classic American “hero,” deeply flawed and troubled but possessing unyielding stubbornness for what he believes in. The performances by Joaquin Phoenix (Cash) and Reese Witherspoon (June Carter), including all of the singing, are absolutely stunning. Masterpiece work.

7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
More often than not, I do not enjoy science fiction films, primarily because the geekery is often held up in place of an actual story worth telling. This film is a notable exception combining 2004’s Best Original Screenplay with great performances from a great cast, including Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Tom Wilkinson, Kiersten Dunst, and Mark Ruffalo. It is based upon an imaginary technology that can selective delete memories from the human brain. However, is erasing the physical / electronic storage of the memory of love won and lost enough to erase the experience from the depths of your soul?

6. Slumdog Millionaire (2008)
The heartbreaking and triumphant story of Jamal, an orphan from the slums of Mumbai, who is on the verge of winning big on the Indian version of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” When Jamal breezes through to the final round, the corrupt producer and police assume fraud, and they torture and interrogate Jamal. As Jamal explains how he answered each question, the story of his impoverished, orphaned childhood comes to life, revealing the experiences that resulted in his knowledge. The flashbacks add up to an innovative story-telling vehicle, a nice variation from the classic, linear, A to B to C plotline. The story is nothing short of shattering and uplifting, but what makes this film truly special are the incredible performances by Indian actors – unknown in the U.S. and mostly unknown anywhere – from amazing work by young children to the excellent performances of the lead actors.

5. Atonement (2007)
The title gives the theme. 13 year-old Briony misunderstands as violence the sexuality and passion she observes between her older sister Cecilia (Keira Knightley) and her suitor, Robbie (James McAvoy). Later, when Briony witnesses the rape of her cousin Lola, she mistakenly identifies Robbie as the attacker. Due to Briony’s false witness, Robbie is imprisoned. In exchange for release, Robbie enlists to fight in WWII for his freedom so he may return to Cecilia. In her old age, Briony publishes a novel telling tells her story of the torment of her mistake, how she realized the mistake and did all she could to make it right, thereby reuniting Robbie and Cecilia. However, there are many forms of atonement, some of which exist only in our minds. This is an incredibly powerful and gut-wrenching story adapted from the novel of Ian McEwan.

4. The Departed (2006)
What could I write about this film that hasn’t been written? I tend not to agree with the hype machine, and this isn't the best work of Scorcese, Nicholson, Sheen, Wahlberg, or DiCaprio, but even their half-assed is good enough to top the charts.

3. Oh, Brother Where Art Thou? (2000)
This sincerely goofy yet epic film from the Coen brothers is a true masterpiece of American film. We follow Everett (George Clooney) and his two accomplices on a long, eventful journey from an escape on a prison chain gang to find hidden treasure – or not. The journey in many ways parallels the many trials of Odysseus’s long return home from the Trojan War in Homer’s epic classic, The Odyssey. Like Odysseus, Everett is confronted by the lure of singing Sirens, the Cyclops (represented by a one-eyed, bible-selling con-man played by John Goodman), and a band of singing Baptists representing Homer’s Lotus Eaters, en route to his wife Penny (Odysseuss’ Penelope). The story is a dust-bowl era epic, even if it is Coen goofy, and it features great performances by great actors (Clooney, Goodman, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, Holly Hunter.)

2. Almost Famous (2000)
Cameron Crowe’s semi-autobiographical masterpiece about a precocious teen who weasels his way into writing for Rolling Stone magazine and heads out on the road with a up-and-coming ‘70s rock band on the verge of super-stardom. Young William (Patrick Fugit) leaves his bizarre and over-protective mother and heads out on a journey where he becomes acquainted with the people and the life that he idolizes, loses his virginity, makes friends, establishes himself as a writer, and falls in love for the first time. Along the way, he discovers, as all kids must, that not all that glitters is gold. Fugit plays the character with naïve enthusiasm coupled with high intelligence and personal genuineness, which makes for a fresh take on the coming-of-age story. Great cast performances by Kate Hudson, Frances McDormand, Billy Crudup, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Lee and Fairuza Balk fill out Cameron’s compelling story with life, depth and color. Many films try, but very few films can capture the wonder of youth meeting the disappointments of the real world, while still maintaining the theme that, despite hard lessons, life and love and art and dreams are all worthwhile.

1. Big Fish (2003)
Big Fish is a wild-eyed, Wizard-of-Oz type fantasy film from Tim Burton, starring Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Jessica Lange and, one of my favorite actors, Billy Crudup. It is the story of Edward Bloom, a man who lives his life telling wild, imaginative and bizarre tall tales. His adult son, Will, has long been frustrated with his father, feeling that the story-telling prevents him from really knowing him. The film brilliantly brings to life- as only a Tim Burton can do – Edward’s fantastically wild stories of his childhood, hometown hero and war hero status and lovesick adventures to court his wife. The closing scenes of the film are as moving as any I’ve ever seen, as Will finally realizes that he has to accept his father on his own terms and that the tall tales really do reveal who his father is. Amazing performances by all, particularly the legendary Albert Finney, Crudup and McGregor, but it would be wrong to fail to offer a Danny Devito cameo / nudity alert.

LMF - Knuckel Drager

You've probably been wondering where you can go to see some guys in scary Halloween masks play surf rock-influenced heavy metal instrumental songs by a band that refers to it as dragracing music. I give you Madison's own Knuckel Drager.

I don't know exactly when these guys started. I know I was first introduced to them in about 1997 or 1998. They used to rock that back stage at the Orpheum (used to be the Stage Door theater) on a regular basis. Some friends took me along to my first Knuckel Drager show. There, I ran into an old acquaintance from high school - who happened to be a hell of a guitarist himself - and he loved these guys. He was explaining to me a lot of the details of what they were doing. In reality, all I could understand was that there were a shitload of guitarists on the stage and they could all really shred the surf-metal licks. Throw in the Halloween masks, and you've got a pretty intersting experience. The skill is obvious, but the depth and breadth of the sounds along with the high-energy, strange visual image of this band on stage make it worth paying the door. Check them out. Even if it's not your thing and you won't be bumping them from your iTouch, you will enjoy the show. It beats that stupid fucking reality tv. show you were going to watch about that dumb bitch with the douchebag boyfriend. You know which one I'm talking about - all of them.

They have as many as seven members at times, with four of them shredding on electric guitars. Typically, they have a drummer, a bass guitar, somebody on the keys, and then a short-bus full of guitarists. They played the High Noon last week, and you missed it, jackass. But, you're in luck. I see they are playing a show in the bar at Badger Bowl on Friday, Nov. 20. If you haven't been there, it's not a bad bar. I've been there to see bands play before.

Behold the surftastic, metallic, masquerading spectacle that is Knuckel Drager. Be sure to listen to the music. They are recockulously good at what they do. If you can't go on a 3-day whiskey and blow binge with this as your soundtrack, you sir cannot go on a 3-day whiskey and blow binge at all.

Tasty's Top 10 Movies of the Decade

I was requested by one of our loyal readers (I guess they do exist) to do a top 10 movie of the decade list. So in effort to keep our only reader happy I have decided to make his dreams come true. I have also asked fellow blogger Timmmay to give his top 10, hopefully he will post that tomorrow. Onto the list.

#10 Big Fish
When I first saw this movie, after about five minutes I was ready to walk out, I am not much of a fan of Tim Burton or Ewan McGregor, but I decided to give this movie a shot. I am glad I did. It is a feel good movie, about a fathers relationship with his son, told through a bunch of semi-made up stories that the father used to tell the son. The son, played by Billy Crudup, feels like he never got to know who his father really was, and vows to have to fix that relationship before his father passes. Great performances from the dad, Albert Finney, McGregor, and Crudup, make this a must watch film.

#9 Oldboy
I am sure only a handful of you have seen this Korean film. This movie takes a theme, revenge, seen thousands of times in movie and puts in incredible twist on it. This movie will have your head spinning. I didn't know much about Korean film until I heard about this movie, but I will say that is one of the most original and daring screenplays I have ever seen. If you like action and psychological thrillers, this is the movie for you.

#8 LOTR (The Fellowship of the Rings)
I was one of those people that didn't want to give Lord of the Rings a chance, I am certainly glad I did. Within the first half hour of the first film I was completely lost in the realm of hobbits, dwarfs, elves, and men. Call me a flame, if you want, but I can almost guarantee if you give this trilogy a chance, it will capture you as well.

#7 Sin City
I have never been a big fan of comic book movies, they are usually entertaining, but often the story lines are just to far fetched, and so are all the action sequences. Well this movie is just that, but it has a visual style that I have never seen before, and enough substance and good acting to keep me wanting more. Frank Miller deserves a lot of credit, for taking the comic book and graphic novel genre to new heights. I know many that will say 300 and Batman Begins, were the reason this genre reached new heights, but I will argue for Sin City every day of the week. Not to mention appearances by beauties Jessica Alba, Rosario Dawson, Jaimie King, Britany Murphy, and Devon Aoki. I had to clean the pre-cum off my shorts after watching this film.

#6 Into the Wild
If you go back to read my original movie review you will notice that I had some problems with the movie. Mainly being the stupidity of the main character. However after seeing this movie now several times, I realize that my problems with the character is what made this such a good movie. You may not believe in what Alex Supertramp believes, in but you can make no mistake, that he stood for something. You throw in an absolutely wonderful soundtrack and you have a must own movie.

#5 No Country for Old Men
If you are a fan of Coen Bros movies, you will have to agree that this is different than any film they have ever made. I dark, complex storyline, is what first captured my attention, but what made me really admire this film, is the Coen Bros ability to tell a story, through a litany of complex characters. The performance of Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh is as chilling as you will find.

#4 Kill Bill Volume I
I really enjoyed both of Tarrentino's Kill Bill movies and they both nearly made the list, however I have to put the first one a little bit ahead of the second. With all Tarentino movies, the genre is all to his own, and the style and visual effects of this film are amazing. You throw in the dialogues and action sequences that Tarentino is known for and you have a wonderful film.

#3 There Will Be Blood
You either love this film or hate it. I think that has a lot to do with the story in which there is no real climatic point, in fact you could almost say this movie starts at the climax and moves on from there. At a slow pace at best. But to me the real beauty in this film lies in a simple character. I man driven by greed, hate, and resentment. Daniel Day Lewis, is in my mind the best actor on the planet, and he proves it in this movie. Go ahead give it another watch, keep an open mind, and I think you will take much more out of this film.

#2 Departed
Leo, Wahlberg, Nicholson, and Matt Damon, directed by Martin Scorscese, not much more needs to be said. Though it isn't my favorite Scorscese film, it is my favorite of the decade. This story is a remake, but the story can only be done with wonderful characters in which you can actually believe. There are some scenes in this movie, that were the definition of real suspense. Wonderful film.


#1 City of God
This is one of those movies that when you finish watching, you don't know if you should feel happy or sad. This movie is about the life on the streets of Brazil, and how hard it is for an adolescence to keep his life straight, growing up in the tough streets of Brazil. The characters are real, and you cannot help but feel for each and every child that is portrayed, good and bad. This is one of my favorite foreign films of all time.

HEY SHOWTY

I had no idea they had movie theaters in Africa. I though it was just head baskets and AIDS, AHaaaay!
*crip walks back to the internet*

A heads up, compliments of LMF

For you Milwaukee kids, just wanted to make you aware of a great live music opportunity this Friday night. Personally, I'll be at the hockey game (UW vs. UM) in Madison, but I've seen this cat before and will again. If you want to see and hear something special, head over to the Bay View Brewhaus this Friday night for some good beer and some great music. One of the acts is a personal favorite, William Elliott Whitmore, but you can check out the other acts as well (Hoots and Hellmouth, John Savage.) Go ahead. Treat yourself. As you can see below, they loved him in Belgium.

Caption Contest

Another great Halloween costume...

I Love Me a Shitty Fight Scene

Hat tip to C$$$ for sending this. It is one of those scenes where you just have to ask yourself were they even trying to make it real, or were they just like, "fuck it, looks cool to me"? Either way it works for me.

Take Control of Your Finances

If you know me, then you know I am terrible when it comes to money. I love pissing it away on gambling, booze, fine dining, fantasy sports, etc. Even worse I do not balance a check book, rarely look at my bank statements, and I do not really have much of anything for savings. With the birth of my daughter I knew this was going to be one of my biggest challenges if I was going to maintain the style of living I have grown accustom to. I realized that I need to insure my life to protect for my daughter, I needed to start planning for the future. Both in terms of mine (retirement, travel, house, marriage) and hers, (college, summer camp, piano lessons etc.)it certainly wasn't going to be easy.

I then stumbled upon a blog I had not frequented in a while and they had this great post about Automating your finances. See link below. Anyways the basic principle is you pay yourself before you do anything else, and with the money left over you are free to spend it any way you wish. If i want to blow a couple hundred playing cards, or drinking with the guys, or going to that really expensive restaurant, I can do it as long as I have paid myself first. Seriously it will be easier to follow me if you read the blog post. Anyways, I am still in the process of making this work for me, and I have a long ways to go. But I am now 3 months in to this switch and I already can see the differences. I actually am seeing a savings account grow, making sure I have everything else covered, and still able to do get crazy once in a while. In that time, i have finally started banking online (I know right) have all my bills directly paid from my checking account (though I am looking into some sort of rewards based credit card, to pay all my bills), I have set up two life insurance policies, one in which will build cash value, and I have also set up a Roth IRA that automatically takes from checking each month. This seems like a lot to do, but I have probably spent 3 hours total getting all of this automated, and now I maybe check my bank statements 2 to 3 times a month, but I am totally covered. No need to worry about the nasty letters for un paid bills, no need to worry about bouncing the occasional check, though I still cannot figure out how to cut checks online.

Anyways, I wanted to share this with you because I really feel, that one of the biggest problems with people my age, is the have no hold on there personal finances. I work at a company in which less than half of the employees take part in a 401K plan. I am starting to learn that creating wealth and long term financial stability, is as easy getting on top of your personal finances, and paying yourself before you go out to the bars, or buy a new pair of shoes. I sure as hell know I don't want to work until I die, and automating my finances I believe is the first step in ensuring that doesn't happen.

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