My girlfriend does not like video games which makes life tough on me, but I am hoping that by posting this video she may change her mind and let me get a Nintendo Wii. I promise I wont be like this creepy dude in the video. Just a little side note this video is popping up everywhere and has over 4 million views already.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Marshall Fest
Well we made it through Marshall Fest with no casualties so that is good. It was a very wild weekend as can be expected, and we had no problems finishing 4 barrels. Friday night we grilled out and played bags, it was hot as hell out. Tried to not sweat to much but that is utterly impossible for me. We ended up going down to the tent around 10 or so, and it was pretty much dead. I was pretty disapointed in the Friday turn out but I made some rounds saw some people I wanted to see, and ten times as many people I didnt want to see. I left at about 12 to go to the bar, where some guys were mackin on my girl. No problem as they were buying her drinks and I have no problem with that. We ended up shutting the bar down, and heading back to the party. The a-bar was nuts, sex was definately in the air as hookups were happening every where. A lot of them were not addmitted to the next day however. I think most everyone saw the sun come up before heading to bed. Saturday we got started real early. Breakfast at 9 and then bloodies at 1030 or so. We had the beer tapped around noon, and since nobody really started showing up until 3 or so we were a complete mess real early in the day. Well because of this I didnt account for the really hot sun, and I ended up getting sun burned to shit. This as you know is a perfect base for crazy drunkeness but it ended up kicking my ass more than anything. At ten oclock I thought it was 3 am. Anyways we went to the bar and had some pick me up shots, and then headed down to the tent. Saturday there was a much better turnout. Saw a lot of people I hadnt seen in forever, and just chilled. I actually sobered up a ton, at the tent because I just didnt have the stomach to drink anymore beer. This is by no means meant to be a boast but I probably drank 50 12 ounce cups over the course of two days and I just coulnt put anymore down. I went to the bar with some buddies for whisky which did give me new life for a while. Still by the time it was bar time I was ready for bed. I went back to the party and just crashed. Amazingly I was up at 8 oclock the next morning so I didnt get much time to recover. Unlike last year nobody was up for the Sunday fun day so we went down to the Home Talent game to get some food. Bored off our asses we didnt stay long and I called Marshall Fest 08 at about 3 oclock Sunday afternoon. Wonderful weather for a wonderfully drunken weekend. No arrests, and plenty of stories, half of which i am still trying to confirm.
Tommorow I leave for a Columbus OH to visit some family. My mom, girlfriend and I will be leaving around 5 for a 8 1/2 hour drive. yeah I am sure they are just going to be teaming up on me about what I need to do to become a better person but it should be a good time. Definately hitting up the Columbus zoo, maybe a baseball game (Yankees AAA team plays in Columbus) and probably just going to try and get some sun and relax. I planned this as a break between Marshall Fest and my annual trip up to Pelican Lake over the 4th. Anyways this will probably be my last post before i return, so I hope C$$$ will be pick me up like he always does.
Tommorow I leave for a Columbus OH to visit some family. My mom, girlfriend and I will be leaving around 5 for a 8 1/2 hour drive. yeah I am sure they are just going to be teaming up on me about what I need to do to become a better person but it should be a good time. Definately hitting up the Columbus zoo, maybe a baseball game (Yankees AAA team plays in Columbus) and probably just going to try and get some sun and relax. I planned this as a break between Marshall Fest and my annual trip up to Pelican Lake over the 4th. Anyways this will probably be my last post before i return, so I hope C$$$ will be pick me up like he always does.
Monday, June 23, 2008
George Carlin
One of the best comedians of all times, died at the age of 71. Probably the most influential stand up comedian ever. Below are some of my favorites.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
This is my response to....
What Will Those Crazy Frenchies Think of Next?
I was going to just respond to that post, then I decided other wise...
...This actually reminds me of the time I was staying at Monts house in Waunakee, I think we were like 10 years old. He was living at grandma millers house(Our Great Grandma). We snuck out to go steal some candy from Kwik Trip around 10 pm. Diane (Monts mother) was in bed so it was perfect... we ran along the rail road tracks being as sneaky as possible. We got to Kwik Trip and Monts was a true professional, all Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. Well I blew it when the clerk came in peeked over the bubble gum isle and busted us. he goes " son what you got?" I go "nothing..." then I raised up my hands like there were cops surrounding us, and Rollos, Bubbalicious, Snickers and Skittles were visible from my sweat pants waist, and I was busted. Monts yells out "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!!!" He runs out like every one of the youtube vids Tasty posted, tip toeing off the dog roller, doing a back flip off the beef jerky display. It was pretty amazing, the amount of speed and agility he displayed was stupendous. I stood there in ahh, then took off trying my hardest to catch up, needless to say he blew me out the water. We met up like a mile down the tracks in the weeds, where I got one of the best theft tutorials of my life. Which led me to a crime spree over the next 7 years that would pt John Dillinger to shame. So I guess...thanks Monts, you have had an impact on me nobody else ever will, in the ways of petty crime.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Belated Humpday: Diora Baird
I got this link sent to me and I had to share. Enjoy a belated humpday of Diora Baird who hasnt been in very much. She is in Wedding Crashers but I dont remember here in that movie. Click here for the NSFW pics!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Humpday:Worst Sex Scenes Ever
This website did this list of the 50 worst sex scenes of all time. I guess I would have to disagree with them, on some since a couple made my Top 10 Sex Scenes. The site links video to a lot of the clips so this is definately NSFW, but you should still check it out.
Thank Me Later!
Thank Me Later!
What Will Those Crazy Frenchies Think of Next?
I was just watching a film clip on Film Drunk and it featured some of my favorite stunt work. I am not sure if any of you have seen Casino Royale but there is a chase seen in it that is fucking unbeliavable. The types of stunts they do is called "Parkour" . It is basically the art of running away and all I can say is I wish I wasnt 275lbs and completely out of shape because this shit looks awesome. Maybe Javon Walker should have taken some lessons. I am kidding of course but seriously if you could do this you would definately be the envy of all your friends. I am pretty sad to admit that because I pretty much despise everything French. This shit is absolutely nuts. Check out these videos below. The first one is kind of a highlight of kids doing Parkour stunts. The second one is from the guy that invented this extreme sport. The the others are just bad accidents.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Update
I should have posted this yesterday but I had a busy Monday back to the work week and it well to put it frankly sucked. My weekend took a severe bite out of my ass adn I owe it all to whisky god damn that wonderful drink. Seriously though I think my drinking habits are starting to get scary as this has been my progression in the last couple of years. Whisky and 7 up, to whisky and water, to my new favorite whisky on the rocks. I just cannot get enough of this nectar and am starting to feel a lot like ol Blue Eyes himself. I just hope I can live as long.
Friday night I had a rehearsal dinner for me dear friend Tori who is married her college sweetheart. I am a total wedding downer but this one was a really good time from start to finish. I was an usher and had little or no responsibilty besides tying one on and telling all the girls how beautiful they looked. The dinner was wonderful Friday, and then I headed to a beer tent in Cottage Grove. It sucked, I didnt know anybody and the pitchers were like $10. The only good thing about the beer tent was it wasnt too muddy. Saturday I got up in some serious pain, the mixture of whisky and beer head my head splitting. Breakfast helped, and then I got to visit my good friend Anthony Hellpap and his two week old daughter. Wow is all I can say, she was so tiny and cute, I didnt want to let her go that is for sure. I ended up being late for pictures and made myslef look like an ass but really no big deal as we were drinking beer for a good hour before the guests showed up. I dont think this is a very good idea at a catholic wedding cuz I had to pee the whole damn time. The wedding was nice though and the reception was even better. The father of the bride made a nice toast about my roommates and I and how we were like big brothers to his daughter and sons to him. That was pretty emotional. I felt like a complete jackass however because when he asked for us all to stand I was standing next to the bar watching Tiger dominate. After dinner is pretty much a blurrr but my girl friend got so pissed she left me there (she did come back eventualy) but I guess I was being a real son of a bitch, though I was having a great time. Sunday my old man was over at fucking 8 am to help me suck more water over. I almost cried when he opened the door. Happy fathers day pops! We did some work around the house and got my basement finally dry. What a fucking pain in the arse! Then I just went over to his place and had dinner which was really nice. Watched the US open and then I came home and went to bed early. Yesterday I got the quote for putting in a drainage system for my basement and it was a cool $5,000 which as you can imagine I have saved up for a fucking rainy day (pun obviously intended) Anyways, I dont know what I am going to do yet, but in the mean time i am going to move upstairs until I can figure something out. The two guys upstairs are going to really help me out and move next door, so at least I will have the other side occupied and I will have a place to stay that isnt growing mold faster than my under carriage. I am just glad to have it dry down there and hopefully I wont have any problems the rest of the summer or until i figure out what i am going to do. Item number one will be replacing my gutters and I think I am going to do that in the next week or so. Then I will decide on the drainage system.
As you may well know this weekend is the epic Marshall Festival so I may drop a few stories from Festivals past. I really cannot wait as my buddies are getting 6 barrels to celebrate the weekend. Last year was wild and this year should be better. I just placed the order for the port-o-potty so we dont have to worry about too much public indency. Now lets hope we can keep the underage dudes away, and we will be all set.
Friday night I had a rehearsal dinner for me dear friend Tori who is married her college sweetheart. I am a total wedding downer but this one was a really good time from start to finish. I was an usher and had little or no responsibilty besides tying one on and telling all the girls how beautiful they looked. The dinner was wonderful Friday, and then I headed to a beer tent in Cottage Grove. It sucked, I didnt know anybody and the pitchers were like $10. The only good thing about the beer tent was it wasnt too muddy. Saturday I got up in some serious pain, the mixture of whisky and beer head my head splitting. Breakfast helped, and then I got to visit my good friend Anthony Hellpap and his two week old daughter. Wow is all I can say, she was so tiny and cute, I didnt want to let her go that is for sure. I ended up being late for pictures and made myslef look like an ass but really no big deal as we were drinking beer for a good hour before the guests showed up. I dont think this is a very good idea at a catholic wedding cuz I had to pee the whole damn time. The wedding was nice though and the reception was even better. The father of the bride made a nice toast about my roommates and I and how we were like big brothers to his daughter and sons to him. That was pretty emotional. I felt like a complete jackass however because when he asked for us all to stand I was standing next to the bar watching Tiger dominate. After dinner is pretty much a blurrr but my girl friend got so pissed she left me there (she did come back eventualy) but I guess I was being a real son of a bitch, though I was having a great time. Sunday my old man was over at fucking 8 am to help me suck more water over. I almost cried when he opened the door. Happy fathers day pops! We did some work around the house and got my basement finally dry. What a fucking pain in the arse! Then I just went over to his place and had dinner which was really nice. Watched the US open and then I came home and went to bed early. Yesterday I got the quote for putting in a drainage system for my basement and it was a cool $5,000 which as you can imagine I have saved up for a fucking rainy day (pun obviously intended) Anyways, I dont know what I am going to do yet, but in the mean time i am going to move upstairs until I can figure something out. The two guys upstairs are going to really help me out and move next door, so at least I will have the other side occupied and I will have a place to stay that isnt growing mold faster than my under carriage. I am just glad to have it dry down there and hopefully I wont have any problems the rest of the summer or until i figure out what i am going to do. Item number one will be replacing my gutters and I think I am going to do that in the next week or so. Then I will decide on the drainage system.
As you may well know this weekend is the epic Marshall Festival so I may drop a few stories from Festivals past. I really cannot wait as my buddies are getting 6 barrels to celebrate the weekend. Last year was wild and this year should be better. I just placed the order for the port-o-potty so we dont have to worry about too much public indency. Now lets hope we can keep the underage dudes away, and we will be all set.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Whew! Thank God I Am Not Addicted to Porn!
So I stumbled across this article 8 Signs Your Partner is Addicted to Porn not because I think my girl friend is addicted to porn (though it would be fucking sweet if she was) but I have often worried whether or not the world of smut has finely taken control of me. Thank god I found that it is still just a hobby and I am not addicted. According to this article your partner will most likely fall under these 8 symptoms so to speak.
"1. Your partner is not as social as he used to be.
He is excusing himself from activities, has unexplained absences, and is not able to account for his time. He has little interest in socializing with you or making time for others, including his family.
2. Your partner lacks interest in sex or is sexually unresponsive.
You’re noticing a decrease in physical affection and non-sexual touch. If you have sex, it’s because you are the one initiating it. Your partner is having trouble becoming sexually aroused (for example, achieving erection or having an orgasm).
Furthermore, your partner needs more and more stimulation to get turned on and release. He has developed a strong interest in sexual practices that seem a little out of left field. No matter what, both of you are feeling largely dissatisfied post-sex.
3. Your partner is being uncharacteristically demanding or rough during sex.
You’re feeling pressured to engage in sexual activities that are either physically or emotionally uncomfortable to you. Your partner is using atypical sexual language. He seems to be objectifying you and he has no qualms about it.
4. Your partner does not seem “present.”
Your lover has become emotionally distant during sex. You’re starting to feel sexually rejected or neglected. In or out of the bedroom, you and your partner can no longer describe yourselves as emotionally intimate.
5. Your partner has started to nit-pick your appearance.
Your partner seems more and more concerned about what you look like, and if you’re sexually attractive “enough.” He might make cutting remarks about your weight or shape. He’s also making insensitive sexual comments, which make you feel like a sex object.
6. You feel like you’re no longer getting straight answers from your lover.
You suspect that much of what is being said these days are white lies. Answers to your questions seem vague and nonsensical. He’s defensive when asked about porn use.
Yet you are finding evidence of hiding, lying, and secretive behavior, including porn materials you didn’t know about. Maybe your partner maintains a private e-mail address, has his own credit card, and/or has an unknown cell phone account.
7. Your partner is practically wed to the Internet.
He spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, often demanding privacy and/or changing his bedtime ritual. As a result, he has eye problems from spending long hours on the computer. He may also complain of back, wrist, neck or shoulder pain.
8. You’ve noticed a change in your partner’s demeanor.
Your partner just doesn’t seem like himself. He has trouble calming down and sleeping. His moods and interests are different. It may even be to the point you’re wondering if his mental health is okay. Feeling like a “sex pervert” can lead him to negative emotional outbursts such as picking fights and holding grudges in order to justify his secret porn use."
I find this so funny because apparently if you are addicted to porn you dont want to have sex with your girlfriend. Right there I new I was all good, because when I pop in one of my favorites like Jumbo Combo #17, Butt-Er-Face Babes, or Grand Theft Anal the first thing that comes to my mind is "oh my god I am totally trying A2M with my girl tonight" unfortunately I am never allowed to do such things. The point is when I watch porn I feel closer to my partner. Another one I loved is the whole part about nit picking your partners appearance. Hmmm, have you ever seen a porn? Most good porn has chicks in it that I wouldnt fuck with Noels dick. Especially in the new age of High Res porn where every blemish from stretch marks to ingrown hairs, to that cigarette burn on her butt cheeks. Christ usually I am dying to turn down the lights and tell my girl just have fucking beautiful she is. However I think the most telling sign that I am not addicted to porn is my openess surrounding my liking of it. I feel no need to hide the fact that I subscribe to Penthouse, that my three favorite blogs are links to free porn, or that I once filled my college computer with 20 gig worth of bang bus and milf hunter. I am not shamed to admit any of that because I enjoy the simple things that porn offers. So gals listen up, I am going to break it down to you straight. We are not addicted to porn, we love to watch it, fucking deal with it. So without further adieu the top 10 reasons I love me some porn.
#10 The Only Place Squirting is a Reality: Im telling you this shit is a fucking myth. I have traveled the earth far and wide to find a girl that could recipricate my favorite pass time yet nothing. However you type squirt into a google search and drips of moisture will be coming down your screen.
#9 Its Always Good For a Laugh: Now some porn is meant to be taken seriously however most porn that I am interested in is for amusement only. Take this one site I found called back room facials. The whole premise is this guy runs a fake modeling business tests the "goods" and then the obvious facial before he tells them they didnt get the job. Still this guy is a fucking comedian with classic lines like "whats that girl theres a fire in the barn?" or "you cum, your out of here" I cant make this shit up!
#8 Fake is Great: In the porn world one thing is always true, the bigger the better. That isnt always the case in the real world. I dont want my girl to be totally redone with plastic surgery but I sure as hell dont mind some porn star taking her hard earned money and enhancing what for sure has been enhanced 40 times before.
#7 Women Actually Enjoy Sex? Wow didnt know that: I tell you what either lady porn stars are the best actresses in the world or some women truly enjoy sex. I love seeing the response of these babes, screaming and yelling and what not. Man these guys are good!
#6 You Never Know Where the Next Click Will Lead: I have been to what I thought is the deepest darkest spots on the Web. However when you are on a good four hour porn bender each click, each download, each pop up is better than the last.
#5 You Put What Where?: I have seen it all from double penetration to double fish hooks, it never seizes to amaze me what the porn world will come up with next. Christ you can look for days and days and never see the same thing twice.
#4 So Thats What a Real Man Looks Like: Now I have been through this before on the blog but seriously, I got a little dick. However unlike being fat and hating the look of that guy cut out of stone, I actually love seeing some dude with 10" hangin. I am so like "now I know why I cannot make my girl happy in the sack" it is the simple physics.
#3 Seriously I Read The Articles: I have been a subsriber to Penthouse for 2 years now and I will until I find little Matthew crackin it to poppas stash. This is one of the best publications I have ever read.
#2 Help Your Technique: Cmon guys how many times have you pulled a move straight out of the playbook of your favorite star. Shit I owe every thing I do well and probably poorly to some to those guys. Love life stale? Try something new, you sure as shit aint just going to make something up. Well unless you are C$$$ and you break out the "El Gordo Dedo" thanks for telling me about that one to man!
#1 Porn Sure is Hell Aint Reality: Ladies this is the most important. I would compare it to your need to watch sex in the city or those stupid fucking romantic comedies. You just love wishing that could happen to you some day. Meet mister right and have him sweep you off your feet and live a happy ending, well suck a fart right out of my ass. The truth is guys need that to but we arent looking for Mrs. Right, we have probably already found her. We want to think about that nurse who or teacher who had to help us out along the way. We arent trying to replace you ladies, we just like to let our minds drift. We will always come back to what is real, because and I cannot speak for all those porn addicts out there, but the real thing is so much better.
"1. Your partner is not as social as he used to be.
He is excusing himself from activities, has unexplained absences, and is not able to account for his time. He has little interest in socializing with you or making time for others, including his family.
2. Your partner lacks interest in sex or is sexually unresponsive.
You’re noticing a decrease in physical affection and non-sexual touch. If you have sex, it’s because you are the one initiating it. Your partner is having trouble becoming sexually aroused (for example, achieving erection or having an orgasm).
Furthermore, your partner needs more and more stimulation to get turned on and release. He has developed a strong interest in sexual practices that seem a little out of left field. No matter what, both of you are feeling largely dissatisfied post-sex.
3. Your partner is being uncharacteristically demanding or rough during sex.
You’re feeling pressured to engage in sexual activities that are either physically or emotionally uncomfortable to you. Your partner is using atypical sexual language. He seems to be objectifying you and he has no qualms about it.
4. Your partner does not seem “present.”
Your lover has become emotionally distant during sex. You’re starting to feel sexually rejected or neglected. In or out of the bedroom, you and your partner can no longer describe yourselves as emotionally intimate.
5. Your partner has started to nit-pick your appearance.
Your partner seems more and more concerned about what you look like, and if you’re sexually attractive “enough.” He might make cutting remarks about your weight or shape. He’s also making insensitive sexual comments, which make you feel like a sex object.
6. You feel like you’re no longer getting straight answers from your lover.
You suspect that much of what is being said these days are white lies. Answers to your questions seem vague and nonsensical. He’s defensive when asked about porn use.
Yet you are finding evidence of hiding, lying, and secretive behavior, including porn materials you didn’t know about. Maybe your partner maintains a private e-mail address, has his own credit card, and/or has an unknown cell phone account.
7. Your partner is practically wed to the Internet.
He spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, often demanding privacy and/or changing his bedtime ritual. As a result, he has eye problems from spending long hours on the computer. He may also complain of back, wrist, neck or shoulder pain.
8. You’ve noticed a change in your partner’s demeanor.
Your partner just doesn’t seem like himself. He has trouble calming down and sleeping. His moods and interests are different. It may even be to the point you’re wondering if his mental health is okay. Feeling like a “sex pervert” can lead him to negative emotional outbursts such as picking fights and holding grudges in order to justify his secret porn use."
I find this so funny because apparently if you are addicted to porn you dont want to have sex with your girlfriend. Right there I new I was all good, because when I pop in one of my favorites like Jumbo Combo #17, Butt-Er-Face Babes, or Grand Theft Anal the first thing that comes to my mind is "oh my god I am totally trying A2M with my girl tonight" unfortunately I am never allowed to do such things. The point is when I watch porn I feel closer to my partner. Another one I loved is the whole part about nit picking your partners appearance. Hmmm, have you ever seen a porn? Most good porn has chicks in it that I wouldnt fuck with Noels dick. Especially in the new age of High Res porn where every blemish from stretch marks to ingrown hairs, to that cigarette burn on her butt cheeks. Christ usually I am dying to turn down the lights and tell my girl just have fucking beautiful she is. However I think the most telling sign that I am not addicted to porn is my openess surrounding my liking of it. I feel no need to hide the fact that I subscribe to Penthouse, that my three favorite blogs are links to free porn, or that I once filled my college computer with 20 gig worth of bang bus and milf hunter. I am not shamed to admit any of that because I enjoy the simple things that porn offers. So gals listen up, I am going to break it down to you straight. We are not addicted to porn, we love to watch it, fucking deal with it. So without further adieu the top 10 reasons I love me some porn.
#10 The Only Place Squirting is a Reality: Im telling you this shit is a fucking myth. I have traveled the earth far and wide to find a girl that could recipricate my favorite pass time yet nothing. However you type squirt into a google search and drips of moisture will be coming down your screen.
#9 Its Always Good For a Laugh: Now some porn is meant to be taken seriously however most porn that I am interested in is for amusement only. Take this one site I found called back room facials. The whole premise is this guy runs a fake modeling business tests the "goods" and then the obvious facial before he tells them they didnt get the job. Still this guy is a fucking comedian with classic lines like "whats that girl theres a fire in the barn?" or "you cum, your out of here" I cant make this shit up!
#8 Fake is Great: In the porn world one thing is always true, the bigger the better. That isnt always the case in the real world. I dont want my girl to be totally redone with plastic surgery but I sure as hell dont mind some porn star taking her hard earned money and enhancing what for sure has been enhanced 40 times before.
#7 Women Actually Enjoy Sex? Wow didnt know that: I tell you what either lady porn stars are the best actresses in the world or some women truly enjoy sex. I love seeing the response of these babes, screaming and yelling and what not. Man these guys are good!
#6 You Never Know Where the Next Click Will Lead: I have been to what I thought is the deepest darkest spots on the Web. However when you are on a good four hour porn bender each click, each download, each pop up is better than the last.
#5 You Put What Where?: I have seen it all from double penetration to double fish hooks, it never seizes to amaze me what the porn world will come up with next. Christ you can look for days and days and never see the same thing twice.
#4 So Thats What a Real Man Looks Like: Now I have been through this before on the blog but seriously, I got a little dick. However unlike being fat and hating the look of that guy cut out of stone, I actually love seeing some dude with 10" hangin. I am so like "now I know why I cannot make my girl happy in the sack" it is the simple physics.
#3 Seriously I Read The Articles: I have been a subsriber to Penthouse for 2 years now and I will until I find little Matthew crackin it to poppas stash. This is one of the best publications I have ever read.
#2 Help Your Technique: Cmon guys how many times have you pulled a move straight out of the playbook of your favorite star. Shit I owe every thing I do well and probably poorly to some to those guys. Love life stale? Try something new, you sure as shit aint just going to make something up. Well unless you are C$$$ and you break out the "El Gordo Dedo" thanks for telling me about that one to man!
#1 Porn Sure is Hell Aint Reality: Ladies this is the most important. I would compare it to your need to watch sex in the city or those stupid fucking romantic comedies. You just love wishing that could happen to you some day. Meet mister right and have him sweep you off your feet and live a happy ending, well suck a fart right out of my ass. The truth is guys need that to but we arent looking for Mrs. Right, we have probably already found her. We want to think about that nurse who or teacher who had to help us out along the way. We arent trying to replace you ladies, we just like to let our minds drift. We will always come back to what is real, because and I cannot speak for all those porn addicts out there, but the real thing is so much better.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Weekend: Mother Nature, You Fucking Whore!
So yeah with half the Midwest being flooded and many people out of places to stay this is probably going to seem like whining, but my basement has been officially K.O.'D by that slut mother nature. Sunday I worked diligently in stopping the water from coming in, but there was little I could do. Monday I awoke to a good 3 to 4 inches of water covering my entire basement floor. What a fucking mess! Heart broken is the best word I can think of to describe how I felt yesterday. A lot of hard work down the ol shitter. So now I don't know what I am going to do, I am officially without a room though for the near and not so near future. Anyways, I am over that b.s. and have decided to not let this bug me.
Saturday was a blast, the Wang was a surprising fun game and I just wish we would not have been the first fucking team out, but it was fun none the less. C$$$ and I did have the best celebrations when we scored we just did not score very often. In fact we got beat by argubly the 3rd and 4th worst teams in this double elimination tourney. However I will say the brought there "A" game against us. Something C$$$ and I have been dealing with our entire lives. We partied very hard, and saw both of my Palmer cousins whom I haven't seen in a long time which was nice. Except the fact that one of them has fallen for Nascar, which I just do not understand. The weather again reared its ugly head, and forced every sane person inside to the bar, where things ended up getting really drunk. After doing surprisingly well at cards paying for my entire day, my roommate Jake, came and picked me up and I proceeded to pass out for the rest of the evening. I just cant do it like i used to.
Friday night was the kickoff to the annually beer tent season and I was a little disappointed. I showed up primed to party as I think I had about 6 or 7 whisky's watching the Brewers dick a great start from Ben Sheets. However when I got there I just didn't have that much fun. I don't know why, the band was good the beer was cheap. I think it is because there wasn't as many friendly faces as i normally remember at local beer tents, and one of my buddies got into some shit. Anyways it was a fun night, I'm just hoping Cottage Grove is more fun this weekend.
Speaking of this weekend, I am in a wedding for a good friend of mine Tori Hein. My first wedding for the summer, and I am actually really looking forward to it. Not much pressure on me, I am just going to be walking the grannies up and seating the brides family. Being an Usher is the easiest job at a wedding, you truly have to be a Benesch to fuck it up. Anyways I have a lot of work to do cleaning up my fucking place from the mess this week, and I stayed home yesterday to do the same, so I am behind at work, so this may be a slow week for the blog. I hope that is not the case, but if it is I hope good ol C$$$ will pick me up.
Saturday was a blast, the Wang was a surprising fun game and I just wish we would not have been the first fucking team out, but it was fun none the less. C$$$ and I did have the best celebrations when we scored we just did not score very often. In fact we got beat by argubly the 3rd and 4th worst teams in this double elimination tourney. However I will say the brought there "A" game against us. Something C$$$ and I have been dealing with our entire lives. We partied very hard, and saw both of my Palmer cousins whom I haven't seen in a long time which was nice. Except the fact that one of them has fallen for Nascar, which I just do not understand. The weather again reared its ugly head, and forced every sane person inside to the bar, where things ended up getting really drunk. After doing surprisingly well at cards paying for my entire day, my roommate Jake, came and picked me up and I proceeded to pass out for the rest of the evening. I just cant do it like i used to.
Friday night was the kickoff to the annually beer tent season and I was a little disappointed. I showed up primed to party as I think I had about 6 or 7 whisky's watching the Brewers dick a great start from Ben Sheets. However when I got there I just didn't have that much fun. I don't know why, the band was good the beer was cheap. I think it is because there wasn't as many friendly faces as i normally remember at local beer tents, and one of my buddies got into some shit. Anyways it was a fun night, I'm just hoping Cottage Grove is more fun this weekend.
Speaking of this weekend, I am in a wedding for a good friend of mine Tori Hein. My first wedding for the summer, and I am actually really looking forward to it. Not much pressure on me, I am just going to be walking the grannies up and seating the brides family. Being an Usher is the easiest job at a wedding, you truly have to be a Benesch to fuck it up. Anyways I have a lot of work to do cleaning up my fucking place from the mess this week, and I stayed home yesterday to do the same, so I am behind at work, so this may be a slow week for the blog. I hope that is not the case, but if it is I hope good ol C$$$ will pick me up.
Favorite Playmate of All-Time
Check This Out
Some guys over at the Buckeyville water cooler board got into a debate over there favorite playmates. Some great pics that I had never seen before. Just reiterates my thoughts that bush is going to come back in a big way.
Some guys over at the Buckeyville water cooler board got into a debate over there favorite playmates. Some great pics that I had never seen before. Just reiterates my thoughts that bush is going to come back in a big way.
In my dreams
I am going to beat Brownski to the punch and let everyone know how the WANG tourny ended up
Well not really, but this is how it ended in my dreams, because we got dominated in every sense of the word. And the night did end with some fucking pussy trying to start shit with me, needless to say he got super tough when there were about 6 people between us and one of his friends holding him back, god I would of loved to punch that dick in the face than force an el gordo dato on him, mainly because I hate duesch bags like that and I had been drinking since noon. He left crying and stomping around the parking lot...me, I continued to dance like an asshole and cram 10 more beers down my gullet, who's the hard ass now! God what a pussy.
Well not really, but this is how it ended in my dreams, because we got dominated in every sense of the word. And the night did end with some fucking pussy trying to start shit with me, needless to say he got super tough when there were about 6 people between us and one of his friends holding him back, god I would of loved to punch that dick in the face than force an el gordo dato on him, mainly because I hate duesch bags like that and I had been drinking since noon. He left crying and stomping around the parking lot...me, I continued to dance like an asshole and cram 10 more beers down my gullet, who's the hard ass now! God what a pussy.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Wang Tourney
Tommorow at 11:00 yours truly, C$$$ and I, will be taking part in the first annual Wang tournament. What is clearly a rip off of my first annual (actually one and only one) 3 on 3 tournament, the Wang is another all day drinking event that is sprinkled with a little competition. To tell you the truth I dont even know what Wang is, but I do know what free food and drink is and I never miss an opportunity to wreak havoc on a buffet. I have been told it is a drinking game that was started by some Sun Prairie guys who were probably to stoned to make it to a frisbee golf course so the came up with this game in which you bring frisbee golf to your own back yard. I guess you basically you and your partner stand about 20 feet away from eachother and you try and throw a frisbee through a goal. The catch you must be drinking at all time. Now C$$$ and I decided to team up with one another and I must say I am kind of regretting the decision. The last time we teamed up was when I decided to ask him to be a member of this blog, and you all know how that has turned out. Craig, I hope you know I am joking, and i honored to wang with you tommorow. It will bring back memories of you and I teaming up to build those sweet forts in my back yard, only to have you get in a huge fight with me and pretend to run away, just so you could hear me crying out your name to come back so my dad wouldnt beat me when he got home. Damn you always had the upper hand when we were growing up. I guess some things do change. All I ask is this, please dont take this competition seriously. My days of being soft ball guy are over. I frown at any sort of competition unless it is a video or board game. I mean look at me, I am not good at really anything, by trying hard i only set myself up to fail hard. Instead lets concentrate on what us Mulherns are good at. Talking a lot of shit, and of course drinking until our livers get sore. There are rumblings the one iGrunes will be there so there should be no "shortage" of ammunition for the shit talkin. Wow short jokes never get old. Anyways, I plan on doing a weekend recap on Monday after this epic event is over. Oh yeah and just like last year for my bball tourny C$$$ designed the logo for the t-shirts. My boy can get his draw on and if you need help desinging a logo for a bachelor party or some crazy drinking event, he does freelance.
The Price is Wrong
This video is pretty funny. It tells you a lot about the IQ of those who play and watch this terrible show. Don't tell me how great this show is either, I only like one game show and it is jeopardy.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
You Do What? Manually Massage Elephant Prostates? That Blows!!!
You have to check out this link. It is a story about some Australian zoo keeper who is in charge of getting elephants pregnant. Well I guess there was this one stubborn old boy who needed some help. So what did the zoo keep do? He stuck his hand in the Elephants ass and massaged his prostate until he shot a load that would even make me blush. (Yeah I shoot elephant size loads, deal with it) Anyways, I just thought of a great idea for the comment section. What is the worst fucking job you ever heard of? This has to take the cake for me. The good news is the giant load was used to get like ten babe elephants pregnant. Thank god for this guy!!!
Heres the Link
Anyways lets here what you guys think the shittiest job is?
I would have to say managing the bowling alley in SP would be pretty shitty. What do you say Harps?
Heres the Link
Anyways lets here what you guys think the shittiest job is?
I would have to say managing the bowling alley in SP would be pretty shitty. What do you say Harps?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Breaking my silence
yeah yeah yeah, I know I haven't been around in a long while. I don't even know when the my last post even was, probably around the time you bought a red hat in homage to the Durst. So I do apologize I have become more of a casual reader than a full blown blogger. I am like Corky from "Life Goes On". You haven't heard from me in awhile but, your still pretty sure I am still retarded.
I have been super busy with my house. Doing a lot of landscaping, and after a long day of starring at a computer all day and trying to get my finger nails filled with dirt, the last thing I want to do is come home and fry my eyes a little more. The summers are always busy for everyone, including yours truly. So I cant say I will be posting a shit ton more, but I am hoping to make more of an effort, whether it be something small or something epic either way im sure you probably won't understand half of it.
I went to the brewer game last night. My buddy Ross hooked it up with tickets 15 rows behind first base. Fucking awesome, I will say for the first 4 innings I thought this "healthy" woman in front of us was fumigating our section with stank pooter. Turns out I over reacted and I was surrounded by Kraut covered brats. Talk about being relieved.
Anyways this probably isn't the post to sling me back into the envy of our 5 readers, but hey at least Tasty knows I am still alive.
Oh one more thing so I haven't really watched tv since you bought a red hat in homage...yeah I know that was really gay the first time. But i flipped on to E! and Living Lohan is on and fucking wow, this show is fucking bad. The editing is amazing, it really makes you feel like Lindsay's Mom and fucking stupid ass sister are extremely popular and are being targeted by everyone because there are famous. I have one 17 letter word for them attention whores hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahhahaha. They wouldn't be shit if Lindsay's tits weren't close to being the perfect pair of boom bams any woman has ever been gifted with. ahhh gawd I love E!
Anyway so I have been meaning to post this for awhile. I thought it really hit home with me, well because I think I have gotten drunk with some of these people at every bar I have been to in Wisconsin. These are celebrities if they lived in Wisconsin...too good, sorry 2 separate posts.
1. Cameron Diaz
2. Jennifer Aniston
3.Jessica Simpson
4. Jlo and Skeletor
5. Johnny Depp
6. Nicole Kidman
7. Pam "Bacon Cooch" Anderson
8. The Beckhams
9. My favorite Tom Cruise. This is what that fucker would really look like if he wouldnt of slid his sexy ass across that hallway singing that stupid fucking song that made him cool or something. I tried that once in front of some chicks thinking it was totally going to get an HJ turns out it nearly got me an MD (monitoring device)! yeah so the order is backwards, fuck you mister I brought my observation skillz.
I have been super busy with my house. Doing a lot of landscaping, and after a long day of starring at a computer all day and trying to get my finger nails filled with dirt, the last thing I want to do is come home and fry my eyes a little more. The summers are always busy for everyone, including yours truly. So I cant say I will be posting a shit ton more, but I am hoping to make more of an effort, whether it be something small or something epic either way im sure you probably won't understand half of it.
I went to the brewer game last night. My buddy Ross hooked it up with tickets 15 rows behind first base. Fucking awesome, I will say for the first 4 innings I thought this "healthy" woman in front of us was fumigating our section with stank pooter. Turns out I over reacted and I was surrounded by Kraut covered brats. Talk about being relieved.
Anyways this probably isn't the post to sling me back into the envy of our 5 readers, but hey at least Tasty knows I am still alive.
Oh one more thing so I haven't really watched tv since you bought a red hat in homage...yeah I know that was really gay the first time. But i flipped on to E! and Living Lohan is on and fucking wow, this show is fucking bad. The editing is amazing, it really makes you feel like Lindsay's Mom and fucking stupid ass sister are extremely popular and are being targeted by everyone because there are famous. I have one 17 letter word for them attention whores hahahahahahahahhahhahahahahahhahaha. They wouldn't be shit if Lindsay's tits weren't close to being the perfect pair of boom bams any woman has ever been gifted with. ahhh gawd I love E!
Anyway so I have been meaning to post this for awhile. I thought it really hit home with me, well because I think I have gotten drunk with some of these people at every bar I have been to in Wisconsin. These are celebrities if they lived in Wisconsin...too good, sorry 2 separate posts.
1. Cameron Diaz
2. Jennifer Aniston
3.Jessica Simpson
4. Jlo and Skeletor
5. Johnny Depp
6. Nicole Kidman
7. Pam "Bacon Cooch" Anderson
8. The Beckhams
9. My favorite Tom Cruise. This is what that fucker would really look like if he wouldnt of slid his sexy ass across that hallway singing that stupid fucking song that made him cool or something. I tried that once in front of some chicks thinking it was totally going to get an HJ turns out it nearly got me an MD (monitoring device)! yeah so the order is backwards, fuck you mister I brought my observation skillz.
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