Thanks Mr. Hughes

Nice rebound (words aren't the only thing I play on) after that Mrs. Chokesondick of a game against purdue (lack of capitalization on purpose...grammatically speaking ultimate diss). Convincing win tonight over the hoosiars.
PS. Is it just me or did indiana look about as good as a Park and Rec. team (notice the capitalization, fuck you mr. ranked above the badgers)

Where Did He Come From: A Political Rant

I told everyone that I would not be very serious on this blog because I got some backlash on some of the gay posts I have done in the past. I do however want to chime in on some of the everyday happenings in the race for the presidency, one in which I admit I havent been following too closely.

Recently I noticed John McCain has basically taken the Republican nomination and all I can say is wow didnt see that coming. First of all McCain isnt even seen as a conservative by most people. As a Senator he has been on each side of the liberal conservative debate, and the Republicans must feel that a moderate is there best chance at victory. I have to tend to agree with the most of the talking heads here, McCain seems like a very good candidate against say Hillary, because I dont even think some of the most extreme liberals are ready for her. They way I see the U.S. today, is a place that is war torn, on the brink of a economic collapse, with government spending as high as it has ever been. Those are the issues I see dominating this election, and I dont see an extreme liberal being the one that can change these current trends in the U.S. I dont know what my feeling is on the war in Iraq, but surrendering and withdrawing our armed forces from an unstable Iraq doesnt seem like a good answer. To me us giving up is as good as a win to all terrorists and extremist islamic groups that threaten the U.S. in many ways. I think us getting involved in this War was probably a mistake, but now that we are there I believe we must finish what we have started. We cannot be perceived as weak in the middle east, with Iran staring down at us. We cannot allow civil war in Iraq, and make that area even more unstable. Remember we are heavily vested in that area whether we like it or not, and until we no longer rely on oil as heavily as we do, we need the middle east to be stable and allow us to trade freely. I believe Senator McCain represents a Commander and Chief that can lead the U.S. to win this fight. I am not sure how I feel Hilary would do in this regard.

As far as our current economic situation. I feel this problem is even bigger than then the War in Iraq. Mortage rates are low yet forclosure rates are soaring. Price of living is going through the rough yet we find that unemployment is getting worse. Taxes are also killing the middle class in this country and government spending is out of control. I dont see how a big government liberal is going to be an answer to these problems. I hear Hilary talk about a health care system provided by the government that will significantly lower the cost of living, and provide every man, woman, and child the ability to get the care they need. I am all for everyone being taken care of, but I dont think she can legitimately put a system in place like this without raising the taxes of the upper and middle class. This does not create jobs, this will not fix the problem within the market, and with the foreclosure rate. McCain, has made a lot of money in the private sector, he is running a campaign that isnt blowing hundreds of millions of dollars and I believe he can retain fiscal responsibility to this country. I respect both Senators Clinton and Obama, but I do not know if they are A, ready to lead us at this time and B, capable of limiting the amount of govenment spending needed to fix this economy.

Now is John McClain a perfect candidate, most certainly not. If he gets the nod against Hilary I think the Republicans will remain in office. If Senator Obama gets the nod, I am not quite as confident. One of the downfalls to Senator McClain is his age, can he hold up under the pressure of being the leader of this country. When going toe to toe with a man thirty years his younger, prople will see the huge differences in popularity between the to men. I feel Obama is much more of a charismatic leader and will be more in touch with his constituents. I feel like this is very important in a President, however I feel like McCain experience actually should be seen as a positive to the American public. McCain served in the armed forces for 22 years he has another 25 years of political experience in both the house as well as the US Senate. He is not too conservative, set on changing social policies to mimic the views of his own. He believes in upholding the Constitution as it is at the founding of U.S. politics. I believe John McCain is the right man to lead this country back on its feet. To get us back on track as the biggest super power in the world. I am not nearly as comfortable saying that about the other candidates.

Old Blue Eyes Has a Point

My cousin Tk sent me this link that sums up the last four years of my life to a tee. Although this is quite embarrassing to myself and all my fellow bloggers out there, I doubt it will change my homosexual ways.

Link

Come Play With Me

After years of talking trash about my gaming skills I will finally get a chance to prove it. I got signed up for an xbox live account so I now I have some fresh challengers for Halo 3, Madden, and soon Call of Duty 4. If you would like to challenge me add me to your friends list. My tag is DrCreamJeans, and I am down to do what ever.

A Hump Day Fuck You

OK,

I appreciate to everyone that did post last week, it was nice to see that one person reads this blog. Anyways to those to pussy to try and help a brother out with some humpday babes, fuck off! I am putting this one up for my enjoyment only. For some reason I think Kristen Bell is hot. Not sure what she has been in but I like her. I hope nobody else does, and you can lick my nuts! Dont you fucking enjoy this!

What Will They Think of Next

Guys I have already given you a great gift idea for Vday but this takes the cake.

Update to my brittle bones...or are they?

So I had a Dr.s appt. apparently with a real doctor Friday. I went to this appt. with the up most fear of what is to come. Surgery, hunch back, out of work for months upon months. Which would be bad because my employer does not have any short term sick leave, well they do but it is not paid, they just hold your job for you...yippee skippee. So any way I was worried. I went to Dean Care West and had a exam by my regular doctor. She groped the hell out me and determined that it wasn't my spine at all. She contacted Edgerton Hospital and got the xray summary from the Radiologist. Plain as day it reads...no compression fracture at all...so for now my spine is ok. My Doctor basically said in lemans terms.."the Dr. you saw in Edgerton is special needs patient in disguise as a doctor wearing a white coat garnishing a stethoscope and mis-read the xrays,...I am trusting this summary from the radiologist." She didn't take new film because Edgerton already had done x-ray's, My Doc is actually trying to save me money, amazing. So the new diagnosis is extreme back spasms.
I high five and chest bump the doctor. You cant imagine my relief! Didn't really get an explanation as too why except, that I am fat and out of shape, a giant frown followed as I heard the reasoning for my back pain. So anyway got some stronger muscle relaxers that are supposed to wipe me out, which they don't = me pissed and craving more narcotics.
My back seems to be getting better ; lots of rest, heating pad and drugs over last weekend. I should be back to bowling like shit sooner than I had expected. So everyone who said they were going to bring me movies and lunch last weekend. Then never showed up or even called. Thanks, you gave a whole new meaning to "its the thought that counts"
c-weed out

Bored @ Work?

Try reading one of my favorite books.

Fight Club

Movie Reviews

What a week it was for me and watching movies. I saw two films that I am going to put in my top ten movies of 07. One of which is probably the best film I have seen this year, and parts of it I liked more than any movie I have ever seen.

There Will Be Blood

I really didn't read a whole bunch about this movie before seeing it. I knew that Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love) was directing, and I knew it was based on a novel by Upton Sinclair. I also knew it was starring one of my favorite actors of all time Danielle Day Lewis. With that being said I had big expectations, but I had no idea what to expect. When I left this movie I was blown away, but still did not know exactly how I felt about it. After a day, I wanted to see it again, because it is truly one of the best pictures you will ever see. From a directorial, cinematogoraphy, and score standpoint this movie is second to none. I dont know much about Radiohead, but there lead singer, Johnny Greenwood, did the score. I believe this is the first movie he has worked on and he is wonderful. You have to understand this movie is a period piece set back in the early 1900's and all I can say is the look was spot on. You had the feeling watching that you were there. The scenary was beautiful, and PTA has delivered his best movie to date.

The real standout however is Day Lewis. He has blown me away with his performances in the Boxer and Gangs of New York, but this is as good of performance as i have ever seen. The only problem I have ever had with his acting is that it gets a little theatrical at times and sometimes you feel like you are watching a play instead of a movie, but that aside he is as powerful as a performer that I have ever seen. The weird thing about this movie is besides a decent performance from Paul Dano as Eli Sunday, there isnt really even another actor that shares even close to the same time to him on screen. He literally is in every seen which has to be incredible difficult. Another reason why this is such a impressive performance, is the fact that this is not a movie that is trying to tell the standard linear story. There isnt a theme or message that the author director wants you to take from the entire story. Instead they want you to take a look at the character and study him. To derive your feelings about the time, and about the business of oil, and religion, from one man. So Day Lewis has that pressure on him, as the character study of the whole film, and he pulls it out flawlessly. I am comparing his performance to DeNiro in Raging Bull and that is as good of compliment as you will receive from me.

I left the theatre absolutely blown away. I think a lot of people feel like this movie is meant to be a negative look at capitalism as well as religion, in the early 1900s. Please dont look at it that way, instead study the lead character, and follow his struggle with his own demons and the way he lived his life. I think you will take much more out of this film if you do so.

Juno

The next film I saw this week was Juno. I had heard some great reviews but was a little worried about liking a movie that was surely going to have nothing but the happiest of endings. Even though the movie was somewhat predictable, I laughed and smiled throughout which was nice after seeing a heavy movie like There Will Be Blood. It is a great debut story from writer Diablo Cody, and director Jason Reitman (Fast Food Nation, Thank You For Smoking) delivers another solid performance. Juno is a story about a young girl who gets pregnant unexpectedly and decides to have the child and put it up for adoption. The story follows her and what she has to deal with as a pregnant 16 year old girl. I wouldnt say any of this material is new or special, but the story is smart and well written. It is also very funny. THe thing i like most about a movie like this over say a comedy like superbad, is that none of the scenes carry on to long. This is a very well edited movie and each scene serves a purpose and the do not linger much to long trying to deliver joke after joke. I have always said it is isnt the amount of jokes, it is how well you deliver the jokes that you have. I would compare this to a Napolean Dynamite type movie, with a little more heart felt story line.

The other thing I absolutely loved about this movie is the casting. Every single character seems perfect in there roles. From Ellen Page, as Juno, to Michael Cera, as the nerdy bf. I especially loved the casting of the two sets of parents in the movie. Juno's parents, played by Allison Janney and J.K. Simmons, are very funny characters. I also really like the adopting parents played by Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman. Everyone seems perfect for there roles.

I enjoyed this movie and took it just for what it was, a feel good movie, that delivers laughs, smiles, as well as a look at what a young woman has to deal with when confronted with an unexpected pregnancy. This is a movie that you have not seen before though it may feel predictable, you will be happy throughout it all. Plus it has a wonderful Indie feeling soundtrack!

SOME GREAT NEWS! If you are satan.

So as all of you don't know good Ol' C-Weed is going to be out of commission physically for awhile and might be blogging a lot about how fucking bored I am. Wed morning I found out that I have a little condition called lumbosacral spondylosis. LS is basically when the little prongs that come off the vertebrae to keep all vertebrae inlined with each other break. Well one of my "little prongs" broke and my vertebrae is pushing my tail bone out my ass hole. I have about 25% slippage between my tail bone and vertebrae (which seems like a lot). There are different levels of LS ranging from minor and treatable to completely paralyzed. I am pretty sure I am on the treatable end since I can still walk fine and function, but needless to say it is very painful. The funny thing is I didn't do anything recently to break any bones. I was told it was from years of stress on my lower back, so football in high school, delivering shingles for three summers and throwing fatties over my shoulder while I stroll through the taco bell drive through at bar time during my days in college. All these things built up and finally fractured my vertebrae while I stepped out of my truck the other night. I felt it initially but didn't think anything of it. I have always had lower back pain so it wasn't something new. So I gathered up my bowling shit (Tuesdays is bowling night) and headed to the lanes. By this time is was crazy painful and far beyond the normal pain I get. Well I persevered and bowled a 259. Not bad for not being able to bend over and rotate my hips at all. So I continued on through 5 more frames and said fuck this. By this time I could barely even lift a miller lite to my lips. I grabbed my balls hobbled back to my bag and put my shit away (coincidently that is how I end every whaling story from college). We had a free brewski coming since we hung the house. So I got those, had one more beer for the road and went home early. I did get to see the badgers try to piss that Michigan game away which was nice...thanks Landry for the tre. Anyways I went home took 3 vicodin and iced my back. The vicodin were a few months expired didn't know how strong they would be so I washed them down with four 7&7 tallboys. Went to bed feeling like a million drunks. When I woke up in the morning I felt like Heath Ledger(R.I.P. I apologize for that), never been so dehydrated in my life, I now know why mixing prescription drugs and booze is a horrible idea. Plus my back was 10 times worse, needless to say shitty morning. So I went to Urgent care and whoolah fractured vertebrae. never saw that one coming god, god totally punk'd me. Every year he gets me with something good, touche my lord and savior.
I don't really know what is going to happen. I have to go see my primary doctor than they will refer me to a neurologists to determine the severity of my condition and hopefully tell me they can fix it without surgery. Worse case scenario would be 2 rods inserted into my spine to hold them in place. Pretty fucked up shit if you ask me. On the GREAT side of things I got some drugs, muscle relaxers and some new up to date vicodin!
So in the mean time I will be excepting donations of movies and chipoltle burritos via delivery at my doorstep. Any time is fine.
Adios Amigos...OnDemand is calling my name.

Humpday Want Ad

This is kind of a readers choice for next weeks humday. I am sure there are a million beautiful women worthy of the spot I just want to hear from my readers who they would like to see. The only caveat she must be a women, and she must appear when doing a google search. You can either post me the link of the picture or just post the name of the girl and I will find the picture. I will obviously give credit to any of you that will help me out.

Something New

I have long wanted this blog to be a place where many people come and comment on the stupid posts I usually put up. Even if it is just to say what type of fucking douche bag I am for having a blog I want people to speak there opinion here. Well that has not happened so this week, in a last ditch effort to get people to particpate on my blog I am going to try and have each and everyone of my posts spark some sort of debate, or at least give people something worth commenting about.

My first post was inspired by hearing the horrendous "Superman" song by Soulja Boy on the to work today. I fucking hate that song for many many reasons and one of the biggest reasons is because I heard my cousin who is in 6th grade singing that song the last time I visited her. She said it got played at her high school dance 3 times the night before. I think this is hillarious and I will give you three reasons why. Here are a few definitions to some of the songs lyrics. These definitions were provided by the wonderful urban dictionary website.

Superman that Ho

Robocop that Ho

Supersoak that Ho

Now I dont really give a shit about the lyrics getting played at the dance, I just thought that was funny, and that kids liked a song with lyrics like this. I dont want this to be a debate on whether or not this song is shitty because I it is and nobody can tell me different. I also dont want this to be a debate as to whether this should be played in middle school dances, probably not but I dont give a shit if it is. What I would like people to post, is there favorite terms from this wonderful site Urban Dictionary . I warn you this site is a lot like Wikipedia or IMDB in the fact that you may go for one thing and be on the site for an hour. However there is some funny as shit over there and I want to hear some of your favorites. Please post the link or hyperlink in your response. I hope this works.

Its Friday

And i am at a complete loss of words. I have absolutely dick to say. So instead of spouting some shit, about how I cannot find someone special, and my dicks to small I am just going to leave you with some funny shit.

These are all clips of Jeff Ross doing celebrity roasts. I have scene his stand up and it sucks, but as far as making fun of people he is top notch. Please note that he stole a joke from the Emmitt SMith roast from C$$$. Still this shit is funny as hell. I will be back Monday hopefully with something to write about.

Part of the century!

I dont know if any of you have seen this, but Corey Delaney is a 16 year old kid from Australia apparently he threw the best party ever. There was about 500 people that attended the party at his parents while they were on vacation. When the neighbors called the cops the party moved outside to the streets where the party goers chucked beer bottles at cop cars and pretty much ran a naked muck threw the streets. Corey has since been on the run from the police and his parents because he says they are going to "kill him" when they find him. So this is a news channel interviewing him via satellite and it is awesome! A gem from this interview is when the anchor asks him to take off his ridiculous glasses and apologize to his parents, cops and neighbors he fires back with this THC fueled zinger "no, I won't take them off,...cause they are famous" he says his glasses are famous because everyone likes them. God I love it! Please check this out, this kid is a hero to every teenager in the world and me. I am thinking about throwing my dad a retirement party, I think I just found the perfect party planner!

Humpday: Heidi Montag

I got a lot of people telling me they enjoyed Kristen last week, so I thought I would keep up with another hotty from MTV. Heidi starred in the Hills, and is now aspiring to do music. Just a little career advice to you Heidi, release a sex tape to me and your career will soon blow up.

A Hero to Fat Men Everywhere

I stumbled upon this great link the other day. It is a link to a cd that was made by one of my favorite athletes of all-time, the great John Daly. The album is terrible country music songs about his life on the tour, and him battling some demons in his life. John, you are the epitome of what is great in this country and have been an idol of mine for quite some time. I strongly urge you to click on this link and check out some of these great tunes.

John Daly Country CD

Best Blog Entry of 07'

I am giving myself a pat on the back for this post. I would like to get an idea of everyone elses favorite post of 07.

Guys Need Some Valentine's Day Help?

I dont have a special someone to shop for Valentine's but guys if you are having trouble finding something for that special someone in your life I urge you to click here.

Now This is What I Call Fishing

Link

"Dude, She Fucking Ate It"

I have gone back and forth as to whether or not I should post this story, but the blog has been kind of blah lately and I think this will spice it up a bit. I will not give any real names in this story except me and my friend Jake, as I dont think any names would like to get released.

Late in the summer or actually early last fall, about four of my girl friends, my roommate Jake and I went up to the Dells for a weekend. My friend, who we will call DDebbie, sister had a place on the Wisconsin river that she let us stay in. This could not be considered a cabin, as it is nice than most peoples homes, and it was definately to nice for any of us to stay in. Well we got up there about 8 on Friday and we made ourselves at home. I kind of figured since there was only 6 of us that it would be a pretty chill weekend, so I did us a favor and rolled a few joints for when we got up there. I had just learned how to roll a joint earlier that week so I was pretty much showing off my skills at every chance I could get. We got unpacked passed a couple joints around and proceeded to make some drinks. Now Jake and I didnt really no what to expect going on a trip with a bunch of girls. However do to some things that happened the prior weekend we were had our fingers crossed that some crazy shit was about to go down.

Let me take you back to the weekend prior. It was a lame weekend in Marshall so I decided to have a few peeps over to party. Well for the first time I think ever there were more girls than guys at our party. As the night started winding down and we couldnt do any more tequila shots, somebody had the great idea to play spin the bottle. Now I hadnt played this game for about 10 years, but it sounded like one hell of an idea. The same people that were going on the trip were the same people that were going to play the game. The only downside to this game was if Jake or I landed on each other we had to kiss as the girls had to kiss if the landed on eachother. At this point I had drank enough that I probably would of fucked Jake, if I thought I had a chance at seeing to chicks do the same, so having to kiss was no big deal to me. Plus we were out numbered so we didnt think that would come up. Well the game played for a while and it was a great time, lips and tongues were all over the place and I thought for sure a big time orgy was about to ensue. Well it didnt happen but it did lay the ground work for what seemed to be a great chance to get crazy in the dells.

Ok back to the weekend at hand. Jake and I brought up a big bottle a whisky and got to it right away. I can drink whisky by itself all night. I can smoke weed by itself all night. However when I mix the two all bets are off. Well the girls had stopped off and picked Jenga or the cheap knock off jumble tower. Anyways they were labeling all the pieces while Jake and I were taking in the beautiful place and drinking whisky like water. We didnt know what was going on the blocks but from all the giggling we Jake and I figured we were going to be used as some sort of sex slave for the whole weekend, and we were fo sho down with that. Well it wasnt quite that good, but the game was really fun. There was a lot of make out with her or do some stupid dare. DDebbie actually dared me to go down on her, but she rescinded once I said thats cool, but I am watching right where you place that block, and I will be pulling it if this tower gets three levels higher. Needless to say she changed her dare. The night ended with everyone getting super fucked up Jake shacking up, and me smoking another J to put me out for the count.

The next day we woke up and breakfast was being made, man it is nice going on trips with girls. I mixed a bloody mary and decided to get right back on it. We were lazy until about 1 oclock and then Jake and I decided we were going to try and find the Badger game in town somewhere. So we let the ladies do god knows what and we headed into town. There was some sort of crazy festival going on so every fucking bar was packed. It was awesome but nobody had the big ten network so we couldnt watch the games. We decided to get drunk instead. We watched about a game and half of football each put down 6-7 beers and then we decided we should get back to our car, cuz we were parked in a one hour spot. Got back to the car luckily with no ticket, but we were stuck in a damn traffic jam in the middle of the Dells. It literally took us 45 minutes and the whole entire Ghetto D cd to go two miles. I was angry as fuck, cuz my buzz was wearin off and I had to take a piss in a bad way. Well we stopped and picked up some more papers and I got a bottle of Cris (Asti) which i thought was going to make the evening extra special. The plan was we were going to eat and then all come back into town and party in the dells for the evening. Well we got back and Jake and I watched some more football and I rolled myself another joint. I was getting hungry as fuck so we fired up the grill. I think the girls must of thought there was going to be more people coming cuz they got so damn much food. We ate like pigs and it wasnt long before people didnt really want to go out. No problem we will just get super fucked up stay in and work on that orgy i had been dreamin about for so long.

Well we laid low for a while let the food settle and we all got ready. We decided that we would each right down a drinking game that we wanted to play and put it into a hat. To nobody's suprise there was only a couple games in the hat. Half the people put spin the bottle two others put seven minutes in heaven (a game I had never heard of but was pretty pumped to play) and I of course just put "a little game my dad taught me" as the game I wanted to play. That probably means little but for those have gotten really drunk with me before you know all about this game. Anyways we started playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. For those who dont know it is a game that all you do is spin a bottle who ever you land on you have to go in a room for 7 minutes and anything goes. Well Jake gets the first spin that do good cocksucker, and I think he got DDebbie. He never told me what went down, but I can only imagine what I would have been doing. Next the girl goes and, suprise, it lands on Jake. So this fucker is up to 14 minutes in heaven, and I am down one bottle of bubble. So another girl goes and gets Jake again!!! I couldnt fucking believe it. All I could do was keep drinking as I cannot hate on my best friend. So it is just about my turn, when all of sudden new game. Fuck! Just my luck. Anyways we played some standard drinking games for a while presidents, fuck the dealer, connections, most of these game are meant to be played with beer, I however was using whisky and getting very very drunk. The girls were also getting drunk which was a very good thing. Somebody came up with the idea of playing truth or dare. Now these girls were pretty horned up on the weekend, and for some reason they really wanted to see Jake and I's manhood. I cannot speak for Jake, but I dont have the type of cock that you whip out. For one I am huge so unless I am hung like the late great John Holmes I am not impressing. Secondly I am not hung like the late great John Holmes so it is like a double negative, which in this case doesnt make a positive. The problem is when I drink to much it is inevitable coming out so the ladies, didnt need to dare, they needed to keep feeding me booze.

The first round of the game was mainly just truths. Not very fun with me cuz everyone knows just about everything about me. Still I think there was something about the round of applause I got in college that suprised a few. Anyways i wasnt about to let this truth shit go on. For one I dont care about what happened, I care about what is about to happen. Still it wasnt my turn, I go to bathroom and when I come back Jake has his cock hanging over the balcony of the loft and I know shit is about to get heated. I then get dared to lick some frosting of the chest of DDebbie. Now I picked the name DDebbie for a reason, so my eyes light up like a fucking kid in a candy store. I dont know if you know this but I love sucking on some breasts, I look at is as a dying art. I want to pay attention to detail and put these gigantic lips to good use. Next I was dared to do a what is known as the Johnny Drama. Basically I had to go outside and stand on this bench, drop trow and do the "Victory". I was wasted at this point so I was like fuck it and did it. Well it kind of tamed down a bit before i somebody gave me the dare of the night. Another girl that was there, who has a bit of a wild side, we will call her Thirsty, dared me to jack-off into a cup. Now I was wasted but I wasnt about to Jack off into a cup. So I tried to play it off and I said, "the only way I jack off into a cup, is if one of you drinks it". Now I thought for sure this would turn her off, but it did not. She was pretty confident that I had too much whisky in me to get the job done, but at this point I would have slit open a testicle squeezed my boys out just to see her drink it from a cup.

I headed down to the basement bathroom right next to the room I was staying with this little plastic cup. The bathroom had this fricken 4' x 8' mirror that basically covered the wall. So here I stand, wasted, looking at myself in the mirror with the sounds of giggling being overheard from the girls and Jake upstairs. Now guys I dont know if any of you have ever tried to beat when you have been drinking whisky for the good part of 48 hours but let me tell you it is no easy task. I drop my pants and boxers and look at the limpest noodle I have ever seen. I stare at for a minute perplexed as to how the fuck I am going to do this, and then i bite my lip and get to work. Now this is not something I am proud of, I just figure I will probably only get to see a girl drink my spunk from a cup once in my life, and that by itself makes it worth it. I am giving myself one hell of an indian burn for what seems to be ten minutes, I am sweating like I am in the last leg of the mile, and still I am limp as can be. Then I dont know what it is but the good lord gave me a 30 second window to get his done. I have never squeezed myself harder, and before you know it I dropped my pocket into this cup. Now I wanted her to know that I meant business so I left one of the three ropes on the lid of cup that basically says "take that". I set the cup on the sink sat down on the toilet and caught my wind. I was covered in sweat with a smile that was ear to ear. I dont know if I was proud of what I did that drunk, or if I was excited to what I was about to see. As I was walking up, I could hear the girls saying there is no way he is going to do it. Then I here Jake say, "you guys dont know Browne very well". Well Jake you could not have been more right. I took there lack of confidence in me as a fucking challenge, and if you are going to challenge me in a drunk beat off competition be ready to drink the whole thing. I get upstairs and hand thirsty the cup. She doesnt believe I have done it until she sees that third rope hanging from the top. Just to be sure she gives a little taste. I dont know why she did that, as to me you would handle that like some fear factor shit, cover your nose and go bottoms. Once she confirmed my seed was at the bottom of the cup I thought for sure she would back out and I could just rip on her for the end of my life. However, she didnt even think about backing out she looked at the bottom and PUT IT DOWN. I look over at Jake and all I can utter is, "dude, she fucking ate it". Now most people would think that my respect for this girl would have disapeared after this. No fucking way, I have much love for thirsty after this. I dont know one other girl that would have went through with it. She has told me every time we talk about it that she thought there was no way I would be able to do it and thats why she agreed. When I did she just felt like she had to hold up her end. I give her mad props and I will never forget that moment forever.

The night ended shortly after as we all laughed ourselves sober and tired. I woke up and there wasnt much talk of the incident and there was a lot of cleaning to do so Jake and I decided to bail. As soon as Jake and I got in the car we basically replayed the moment over and over until we got back home, cuz man that was some funny shit. I will never forget that weekend, and hopefully neither will you.

Movie Reviews

It has been a while since I have given any movie reviews, but I was able to go see and rent a few good movies over the holidays.

Charlie Wilson's War

I really enjoy movies about politics, if they are well done. This movie was entertaining from the get go and it is a true story that I am certain nobody has heard. The story is about a middle aged politician named Charlie Wilson (Tom Hanks) who is can be seen as somewhat of a playboy. He is well liked by nearly everyone and spends most of his time drinking in the company of women. In the opening seen you find Wilson in the hot tub with some hollywood types and a couple of strippers, and right then you can see that he is boring from this type of activity and is looking for a way to actually make a difference. Through the help of his friends, a Houston millionaire Joanne Herring (Julie Roberts), Wilson finds a cause worth fighting for. His goal is to help Afghanistan and Pakistan beat the Russians hopefully dealing them a blow that will aid the U.S. in the cold war. Due to the fact that the U.S. cannot be seen as allies to either of these countries the major dilemna of this movie is appropriating funds to buy weapons that will help defeat the commy bastards.

Hanks is wonderful in this role, has there been a role he cannot play? He provides a likeable character that ladies love, and yet the men respect because he is a good politician. I know pork barrel political issues do not seem like interesting screen plays, but this story was very well adapted. The writer of the West Wing can be thanked for that, and he does a wonderful job of not getting too in depth with the red tape, but still shows how you can fight a war just using the beaucracy. Basically what i am saying is he writes a script about the intricacies of a CIA war, that isnt boring. Philip Seymour Hoffman, plays the role of an advisor, who sets up the different power brokers so a war like this can take place. He brings a lot of humor to his role, and is very believable. His opening seen is priceless and explains so much about his character.

This movie is good for anybody, it is fun and tells a story about the end of the Cold War, that you will never read in any history books. It is smart, funny, and the performnaces are all very good. Definately worth checking out.

Rescue Dawn

The next two movies star Christian Bale, and I have to say he is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Rescue Dawn is another true story brought to us by the much acclaimed director, Warner Herzog. The movie chronicles the story of what I believe the only man to escape and survive a Vietnamese Prison camp. Or in other words a real life John Rambo. Thankfully there is no over the top action or anything like that. This story is about survival and the will a man has to survive. Bale plays a U.S. fighter pilot named Dieter Dengler, who is shot down on his first active mission. The rest of the movie follows a small group of prisoners and the relationships they form, as well as what being help captive will do to both the mind and body. Bale is wonderful he morphed his body into this role just like he did in both the Machinist and American Pyscho. I do not know how actors can do this, but it is truly something special about the craft. This movie doesnt use any tricks or film magic to glorify Dengler. In fact it is a very straight forward movie. However the director does a great job showing the will of man, and what he will do to survive. When the movie is finished you will not be blown away, but you will glad you spent the time to watch this story unfold. Worth a rent.

3:10 to Yuma

As you probably already know I really enjoy Westerns. While I wouldn't put this movie up there with The Proposition or Unforgiven, I really did enjoy this movie. I think the thing I enjoyed most was the development of the characters and how they changed as the movie went on. One of the most rewarding thing for me to watch for in a movie is how the characters are developed. It is a very difficult thing to do. We begin this movie with Bales character having his barn burned down. He is a rancher whose livelihood is based on farming. He realizes in order to make a decent earning for his family, he will have to take a job escorting one of the most dangerous criminals to a prison. Russell Crowe plays Ben Wade, a ruthless thief, who is very dangerous with his pistols. The scenes between Crowe and Bale are very good. These two men are very good on screen and together they seemed to feed off one another. I wasnt crazy about many of the other performances mainly because a lot of the other characters are killed off before they play a big role. However Wade's second in command played by Ben Foster is definately an up and coming actor and I enjoyed him as a villain. He played a similar role in Alpha Dog and I enjoyed him in that. This movie is fairly predictable, and the story although interesting doesnt have any real twists. The only conflict comes from within the two main characters as they travel to the prison train. This movie is a remake and I would be interested in checking out the original, overall I would probably rate it a 7 or so, but if you like Westerns you would probably enjoy this movie very much.

Lady Readers: Some Fashion Tips

This is from this guy Maddox who does a blog that is on the same level as Tucker Max and the Film Drunk guys. Well anyways this is one of my favorite entries. Link

I would like to add boots with the fur and north face jackets to this list.

Awesome

If you guys have seen the 2 girls 1 cup video (which is mildly offensive, find it and watch it immediately, it changed my life) well this is the moments before they shoot it. All I scan say is hilarious!

Humpday: Kristin Cavallari

You may remember her from her days on MTVs shitty reality show Laguna Beach. Kristin just turned 21 and the guys over at WithLeather are saying she went home with her old flame Matt Leinart after the clubbing festivities. Well as you know I am a sucker for QBs and the girlfriends. Enjoy!!!

Its Been Awhile...

9 days since my last post and I am sure nobody has even noticed of my absence. I apologize and promise to intensify my efforts for the rest of the month. Not a lot new with the boss but I will update you on some of my happenings.

- I have basically been sick for the last month. I am pretty sure it is a head cold now but I had step throat sprinkled in there as well. I havent been that fun to hang out with in that time.

- As always I have made a shit load of unrealistic New Years resolutions, that no doubt will be afterthoughts in a couple weeks or two. Some of my resolutions for the year are: quit chewing, smoking (cigs and pot), all drugs, and all fast food. Like I said I make my goals as unrealistic as possible, I also want to read 10 books this year up from 5 from last year, which I met. The other goal I have is working out 4 times a week, this one I am least confident about at the moment. I am doing pretty good though, I had about 4-5 smokes the last time I was out, not bad considering I had big bet on the line and I was stressing throughout the whole game. I only had one chew since new years as well and I think things are going pretty well. I am irritable as fuck right now as you can probably imagine as I am trying to give up pretty much everything I love to do at once. Not recommended.

- I have always loved gambling and for the first time in my life I have actually been on a streak in which I have been consistently winning, though the Buckeyes fucked me last night. Still it has been a good Bowl season overall. I am thinking this is going to be my last weekend of the year and will be looking for some good plays.

- New Years was a great time, I didnt really have any plans for it and just ended up going out downtown Madison, but we all had a good time and the Abar was crazy as fuck. Nothing like your buddy trying to hook you up while he is banging a chick. The house was full of people hooking up but to no suprise I had no part of any of it.

- Work is crazy busy, and I am just trying to stay afloat right now. I have had a lot of people pissed at me in the last two weeks, as ice and rain are major problems when you dont have windows in.

That pretty much sums up my last ten days. As you can see you havent been missing all that much. I promise things will heat up here. My bros 21st is in two weeks and promises to get wild. I also have a couple of lists I want to posts as well as a few movie reviews. Lastly I got the ok from a certain subject to post an epic story that happened to me over the summer. I was sworn to secrecy but I finally go the ok to let the world in. Most of you will find the story disgusting but to me it is probably one of the 5 funniest stories I have been involved in. Stay tuned...