Yeah Yeah I Know It is Thursday; A Humpday Bonus: Topanga!

I found this picture linked on Al's blog. I cannot tell you how many times I have pleasured myself to thought of her breaking up with Corey and finally getting with me. I would guess in the thousands. Enjoy!

20 Worst, Most Painful, Dunks of All-Time

A great compilation of videos. A little known fact is that I could have been in one of these videos when I tried to throw one down my Freshman year. Breaking your wrist on the last day of school really blows. The drugs they gave me however didn't suck. They couldn't take me to surgery because my father took me to Taco Bell for lunch before taking me to hospital. So they set my displaced fracture under local anesthetic, and boy was I loopy.

Painful Dunks

Only In America

This is too ironic.

A Real Life Terminator?

I often get caught up in the stories of hard work and percervance that it takes for an athlete to win an olympic gold (not sure why I dont really believe in hard work or percerverance)vanyways I cannot even begin to imagine how hard it is to try and win 8 gold medals over the course of one week. Well this article details what Michael Phelps week is going to be like in Beijing, and I all I can say is I am pretty damn sure this guy is a fucking cyborg. Thats right a living tissue over a machine skeleton. A T-1000 perhaps. I know TK may argue that Lance Armstrong is a better athlete, but coddamn this guy is amazing.

Must Read Phelps Article

99 Most Degrading Sexual Acts

I found this link over at Holy Taco, and it is worth the read. I am pretty sure Nick Manning has tried them all.

99 Most Degrading Sexual Acts

This pitcher is fucked

So I know everyone has heard about the giant minor league brawl that went on between the Dayton Dragons and the Peoria Chiefs. Well my buddy Kory Fiener is in the minors I have no idea where he is currently he bounces around like a baseball playing gypsy, but his little brother Kevin plays for the Dayton Dragons. He is in the video at the end he is #25 bouncing around like a he has a pair. It is fucking hilarious, anyway check it out again and look for Kevin. If I hear anymore about it I will post an update.

Dark Knight: Includes Some Spoilers

Well I finally got a chance to watch this much anticipated movie, and I enjoyed it. Did I love this movie, or will it go down as one of my all time favorites? No. However I will say it is one of the best summer blockbusters I have ever scene and it shows how far comic book movies have come. Ok onto my review.

First and foremost I dont think that anyone can argue with how cool Gotham looks. The cinematographer by, Wally Pfister is amazing. Talk about bringing the pages of the graphic comic to life. I was blown away by the look of the city, I dont know where they shot this, but I loved it. You really get a feel watching this, that the city is at its brink. The movie has that dark of feel to it. I also really liked how the movie started, introducing the joker first really makes you get into the movie really fast. As for the Joker, well not much can be said that hasnt been said already, but wow what a character. Ledger shows his dedication to the craft by completely submerging himself in the mind of a maniac. The brilliant joker seems to be an enemy that is even too much for batman. I will say his performance was up there with some of my best villains ever, but as far as oscar winning performance, I think his character was a little short on depth. I mean there is no background to the character, all we know is he is a maniac, that wants to watch a world tear itself apart. He does that very well. His best scene I believe is during the interogation. If you arent at the edge of your seat then, I dont know when you ever will be.

As to some of the other characters, I loved Harvey Dent, Aaron Eckhardt was great. I thought Maggie Gyllenhaal was good as the love interest Rachel, but she wasnt someone I cared that much about. When she dies, I dont really think the movie hits a climax like the moment was intended. Gary Oldman is very good as Commisioner Gordon, he plays the ultimate good cop in a system marred with corruption. Again i wasnt crazy about Christian Bale as batman, but I think that is one of my problems with this movie as a whole. I think the big dilemna for Batman in this movie is the fact that he is ready to give up his life of being the hero, to pursue a normal life. Well as normal as a billionaire's life can be. He feels that he cannot change gotham by himself, and the criminals have become to much. They are making a monster out of him. Yet watching Bale, it is obvious that he enjoys being Batman much more than the playboy. He enjoys being Batman more than being in love. I dont think anyone bought the love story between the Rachel and him. They really didnt bother trying besides one little kiss. I guess what I am saying is the subplot to this story is this big conflict Batman has within himself, yet not once did I ever feel like he was conflicted. I dont know, and it really is a minor flaw, but something that has showed in both films for me.

The other problem I had with this film is with the director Christopher Nolan and some holes in his screenplay. I dont like movies that explain something to me and the show me later. However I really hate it when the director shows me something that is pretty much unbelievable, and then either fails to explain it, or explains it with an explanation that is more unbelievable. This happened often in this film. First of all, when Dent turns into two-face. Not sure if all burn victims that refuse treatment are capable of walking out of the hospital within days of having his entire face blown off! Or I am not sure it is possible to use every cell phone in the entire city to create 3-D imaging or mapping of any building in the whole city. Yeah that explanation didnt work for me either. I also loved that the Joker could literally plant millions of pounds of explosives to huge ships, hospitals, and pretty much everything else, with no explanation to how he did it. I guess there is no police in gotham or they are just all that corrupted. The last thing that I hated was when Gordon faked his own death. Oh yeah good plan, I am sure you though of that on the fly. Nolan just shows you these ridiculous action seens that even when you use your imagination they are hard to believe, and then he either doesnt explain it at all, or gives an explanation that just isnt believable. He does this a lot in the Prestige as well.

Anyways I enjoyed it a lot and have some thoughts about where I think the 3rd installment will go. If you are interested post a comment.

BAGS TOURNEY

Hey Ladies and Gents,
The bags tourney is hurting on contestants, not sure how or why but that is besides the point. This is a fun tournament, no money payouts, just great raffle prizes, a trophy and more importantly an adult diaper full of fun. This means everyone is welcome including YOU! Yeah you, get off your web browsing dare air and sign up. You can walk in and sign up (430 Clarmar Dr, Sun Prairie, WI Tel: (608) 837-2586 ) the day of the event. Sign in is at 11 am, game time is noon bells. Be there. If you can and if you can't than I understand. But if you are at home and are in the area and your bed sores aren't worsening, than WTF. Come out and have a blast with fellow DWI'ers literally and figuratively. It is going to be a great time, $25 gets you a t-shirt, all the beer/food you can handle and like I said before great raffle prizes. Prairie Lanes has gotten some great sponsors. Budweiser, Jack Daniels, Bacardi, Pee Wee Herman, HP computers, Poseidon(yeah Greek gods are sponsors). No, but really we are talking a Baggo "bags set" from Bacardi, awesome liquor mirrors that will take any youngsters attention off your balls ( I have been meaning to talk to you about that), bottles of booze and many more great prizes. Come down to SP for a great day of bags and prizes, plus you can meet C-Weed from DWI. He(I) will be signing autographs from 11:15–brat–11:37. Get there early; when my fingers squeeze catsup on tubed meats its anyones guess.

Turnbow loves the minors...Sucking

Well this is a Turn...blow for the better, sorry for the awesomely bad pun, it seemed appropriate.

Brauny the quiker picker upper

Fucking A Braun, Fucking A!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE!!!!!



Oh yeah lets not forget about these guys, Kendell & Torres crossed the T's and dotted the I's to complete the sweep with the Cards.
I am hoping that this game doesn't result in Harper drowning in his own tears tonight, Fuck you Harper and more importantly fuck the cubs. I don't capitalize teams names when I think they would be better off in a rainbow uni...tard

Amazing Story!

So last night I played cards with some of my buddies, and like usual we proceeded to get pretty stupid (or smart depending on how you want to look at it) Anyways my friend Larry starts telling me this story about this lion named Christian that was raised by a couple of guys, only to get to big for them to take care of. So they did what any reponsible lion owner would do and they had her released in Kenya. He went on to say that Christian (I guess she was a religous lion) became the leader of her pride and that people warned them not to go back and visit because the lion would not be able to recognize them.

Listening to the story I thought wow we are stoned, and Larry has no fucking idea what he is talking about. He told me to look it up so today I did. First you must read this story. Then watch the video below. I usually dont care for shit like this, but this is utterly remarkable. I would watch it with out sound because man do they blow that!

Dumb Bitch

This is pretty funny, though I always thought you needed large breasts to work at hooters? I guess not...

Bag Tourney!

Following the success of the much anticipated Wang Tourney, Prairie Bowl, will be hosting there first annual Bags tourney this Saturday. I dont know the specifics, because I have to be in a wedding this weekend and am going to miss it. However I believe it starts around 10 or 11, and it is probably like $25 for beer, food, and tshirt. There will also probably be some poker being played after the tourney, and shit usually gets a bit crazy. What I really wanted to point out is our very own C$$$ has mad fucking graphic editing skills. That logo is amazing! I have added a link to his blog so you can see some of his other work. If you ever need some business cards or a logo for anything, call him! Ok, back to the bags tourney. C$$$ I am sorry I cannot rep it with you this weekend, I truly wanted to regain my honor after our showing in the wang. Though we did have the best post wang celebrations. Anyways I am not sure who your partner is, but if you could, put my initials on your visor, in memory of those who couldnt be there, it would be much appreciated. Know that I will be there in spirit and I will be drinking whisky like I had my whale out toasting in that sand. If anyone is interested, call Deal With It's only reader, Shawn Harper. Harper I wont post your number here but feel free to in the comments section. C$$$ represent deal with it, and fucking get me a t-shirt! Take Fat Bob's when he inevitably loses his shirt and pisses himself!

RIP: Estelle Getty

You certainly will be missed.

Humpday: Nina Moric

Just a really hot Croatian babe. I think she models or something. Probably really smart too...

WOW!

I found this over at Film Drunk via Holy Taco

Whoooooaaaaaaaa Billy!!

I know I was hard on Billy especially when he was slumped and asking for a trade, but I am sure he is happy that he is legitimately helping out his team that has stuck with him through good and bad. I know I am fucking pooping my pants after those back to back performances. That reception he got after he jerked off that game winning Home run, gave me chills. If that is any indication of the intensity that is coming in the second half of the season thank look the fuck out! (knock on wood of course) He has found his swing again and is confidant offensively and defensively. Did anyone else see that rocket ground ball he fielded to get the second out in the 9th. My testicles cringed a bit at how nut fracturing it could of been.

Man I dont even know what else to say. Supppan struggled a bit in the beginning, but you have to hand it to him for tightening his pitches and holding the hot Red Birds to nothing after 1 inning. All around great fucking game. It seems as of late every week there is a new player that is stepping up at the clutch.

PS loving the new hair cuts Braun and Hart are sporting. Hart I am right behind you with bringing bask the side steps. I am a little pissed you beat me to the punch I was literally just talking about shaving my hair like that last Saturday. Look for super sweet hair cut at the Bags Tourney this Saturday!

PSS I am going to the game against the chumps this monday, cant fucking wait. CC pobable pitcher, god my nuts are throbing for this series, in a un-gay I hate the fucking cubs sort of way plus its CC. I would probably go down on Amy Whinehouse to watch CC rope some pearls on the cubs face. I am looking to go to the final cubs series in September, If anyone wants to Boys and Girls Club me some tickets. I am always looking for a positive influence in my life.

Speaking Out Against Brett Favre

As many of you know I have never really been a Packer fan, and furthermore I have never been a fan of Brett Favre. Maybe it is the hater in me, maybe it is the fact that he is just more adored than I am, but there has always been something that made me hate this guy. Well in the past 2 months or so my feelings have been ampliphied. I havent been following this story to closely but I think i have most of the facts straight.

- Brett costs the packers a shot at the Super Bowl with his terrible play in the 4th quarter and overtime. Packers lose to Giants.

- Unlike past years the Packers do not beg Brett to come back. I am guessing they were questioning whether he could still be a top level qb in cold weather. Still they would have welcomed him back with open arms.

- Packers do not go after unrestricted free agent Randy Moss, even after Brett pleas his case once again. Basically blaming the lack of talent around him for there failures last year.

- Brett has a news conference to announce he is retiring. Very emotional (I hate him and got choked up listening to this on the radio!) He cites the fact that he just doesnt have the fire for the game. If he isnt in it 100% he doesnt want to it. Everyone praises him as a top 5 qb off all time. A sure fire first ballot hall of famer. He loved to play the game and we loved to watch him.

- Packers do what they should do, give the reigns to the guy who has patiently waited in the wings for three years. Who never once has made any stink except asking why the fans in Green Bay dont like him. So the guy is a bit of a cheese dick, but they invested a 1st round pick in him and he has waited patiently. In the Salary Cap era of the NFL you need to make moves like this with conviction and move forward.

- Bret feels the fire that he didnt in March (4 months later) and wants the Packers to take him back or release him. Packers explain that they have moved on. Brett still hasnt said he is 100% to coming back. The Packers will never release him, or trade him to his choice the Vikings. I love how Darrel Bevel is involved in all of this.

Anyways here is the point of my rant. The Packers made the right decision here. Brett has held this city and team hostage for the last three years, basically making himself bigger than the team. You know what Brett Fuck Off, you arrogant piece of shit. The town of Green Bay, the hole fucking country, and John Madden all want to suck your cock, and you start crying when they move on when you say its over. I tell you what, you want to play for Green Bay, you should beg back, and then battle for the starting position with Aaron Rodgers. You need to prove that you are 100% committed to that team, and its fans because you sir have lost all your fucking cred. Does he do this? No he has his agent ask for his release from the team, because Brett doesnt back anyone up. He is the almighty. He just does what is best for him. Fuck him, move on. The Packers havent won a superbowl since what 1996? Yeah they have been good with him, but losing him aint going to be the end of the world. He was briliant last year, but the year before he was awful, and the defense carried them to an 8-8 record. This team has the foundation in place to be really good, and Brett could of came back for a final run with the team and rode off into the sunset as the greatest and most adored Packer of all time. What does he do, he fucks them right in the ass, and says he wants to play for the Vikings. Hahahahhahaha that to me is the epitomy of a cock sucking Diva. Eat shit and die Brett Favre, your act is a tired one.

Tiger Sex!?!

This is a funny video from Bill Dawes over at Funny or Die. Dawes writes a blog that is definately worth checking out. Here is one of my favorite posts.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

You gotta love bums...I mean brewer fans

click it or ticket!

MANTAGE

This is a pretty average day for me, you know doing some man shit!

Must Read Article

I found this article at the Kissing Suzy Kolber Blog, and I must say it is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. It is a story about Paul Zimmerman "SI's Dr. Z" and Rocky Bleier going to a Singapore whore house. There are some epic lines in the story. My favorite are, "my father taught me to never look a gift pussy in the mouth" and "I let her stick a finger in my ass, which was a pretty big deal in those days" fucking genious!

I Challenge Thee

So I found this pretty interesting game on a message board. I guess it is called Pub Golf. Here are the rules:

Americans call it "bar golf", and our rules are a little different. Plus we don't wear knickers or stupid hats.

- 18 bars.
- One hole = one bar.
- 1 Beer = Bogey
- 1 Beer + 1 shot or cocktail = Par
- Par + One beer OR one shot = Birdie
- Birdie + One beer or one shot = Eagle

Does anyone want to do this with me? I think we would have to do it downtown madison or Milwaukee. Otherwise driving would be involved making the game much more difficult. This sounds like a kickass time however.

I also found this on the message board. A link to a bunch of different drinking accomplishments that everyone should try once. I think I have accomplished about half of them.

Lets hear your best drinking accomplishment? Also tell me if you are interested in this pub golf. I think it could sweep the nation!

I Couldnt Wait Until Humpday

Check out this Marissa Miller spread this is the hottest chick on the planet right now!

My New Favorite Porn Star

My roommate Jake is the one who turned me onto Nick Manning, and he is an absolute riot. Ladies you may not like him and I urge you not to click on this link if you are a woman. Guys you will probably get some amusement out of this and I know I did. It is just a sound board of some of his best one liners. Oh and believe me he has a lot of them.

Nick Manning Sound Board

Humpday: Yes The Economy is Hurting Even This!

Remeber when 300 million dollars could get you anything from the most beautiful women in the world to your own freaking island. Well I guess it doesnt get you anything, because Alex Rodriguez is getting a divorce from his whore wife Cynthia (she is fucking Lenny Kravitz) to be with a washed up whore in Madonna. Note to Arod, your fucking rich think a little bit bigger. Take a little bit of advice from Jeter, dont get married, and fuck a different MODEL every night!

This Guy is Playing Tucker Max

A little update on the movie I am highly anticipating. Matt Czuchry (pictured) is playing Tucker Max in the film adaptation of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. Matt has had roles in Friday Night Lights and the Gilmore Girls. I am kind of glad they didnt get a big name as this movie kind of feels like the first American Pie movie. After the full cast was revealed I my hopes of it went down a bit, but I still think it will translate well into a movie.

2 Live Crew Bloggin!

UPDATE: Sorry I should of mentioned why CC hates punctuation so much. It was repoprted by everyone that CC told the brewers he did not want the periods in his name (C.C.) he only wanted CC. Look dont ask me why, what do I look like? The smartest sexiest blooger of all time who just knows everything? Well for pete sake. The only reasoning I can come up with is that When you are 6'7 and your arms look like elephant trunks and you can throw baseballs faster than I would blow it on Megan Foxs chin, you can pretty much do what ever the fuck you want. So if doesnt want 2 dots in his name well you go right ahead kind sir, just take us deep into October and consider those dots gone.
So its the top of the seventh and CC "Fuck your punctuation" Sabathia just took a seat after his first apperance as a Brewer. I cant say I am disappointed but not what I was expecting with all the surrounding hype. I really thought CC would gobble it up and come out and dominate. 3 runs let in thus far, given I wouldn't say they were all his fault even though I think he walked 6 batters.
I was just wondering if I am alone on this If a base runner is off the bag and is tagged, isnt he out like a mother fucker? Especially when the Ump is 4 feet away starring at the play, I dont know, I almost pooped my net shorts when I saw that shit. Anyway I will say I love CC's intensity after that big strike out to end the top of the 6th. It seems like he is super happy to be here and wants to win.
I dont like that everyone is talking big things for the brewers in the near future, I would just assume keep all the jinxing for the Cubs, this might be their year, wait I mean it is their year fuck you Cubs, I cant wait for the end of July when we see them again at home. Lets also not forget that this is still the Brewers and they can piss it away with the best of them. Its 4-3 bottom of the 7th we got the lead with Braun up for CC's sake I hope he gets the W we all know how Brewers fans, well Wisconsin residents for that matter handle the slightest bit of disappointment...COME ON BRAUN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SWINGING AT????!!!!!!!!!!
to be continued....
I am back 7-3 Crew, I love the Brewers defense these days! I cant decide if I love my photoshop skills as much as the brewers defense, shoulders shrugged.
And that is the game my friends not too shabby, consider my jersey untucked!

Shit Show

Well, I am back from my weekend up North and to be frank, I think I will be dying at least five years earlier because of my behavior up there. All of my decision making was poor, from the moment I left my house last Thursday afternoon. From not wearing sun screen, to drinking as much as I possible could every second I was awake, it just was not good. With that being said, I have no regrets as it was one of the best fucking weekends of my life. From a crazy hookup inside my car (dont worry it wasnt me) to the best game of ass-over-tea kettle (game involves getting down on all fours behind a friend when he is engaging with someone else, other friend sees you and pushes said friend over you). We got my buddy korth 10 times in one hour and he almost killed us all. Which he had every right too by the way. To an epic volleyball serious that ended in heart break just like last year. I ate like a king and drank like a king, and sucked up so much of the suns rays that I can hardly step out side right now. To some this wouldnt be anyway to spend a vacation, to us it was just another trip up to good ol Pelican Lake. Suprisingly I think we will actually be invited again next year! The only thing that sucked was the drive back in which both of my passengers passed out. They were the two drunkest guys of the weekend but still that was a fucking long drive home solo, when you are extremely hung over.

I got home to find out the Brewers traded for the Hefty Lefty, yes my favorite pitcher in all of baseball. I cant be more thrilled. For management to take payroll over 90 million to me is a great response to the fan support shown this year, by all Brewer fans. If I have any readers that are fans, please take a second to vote for my favorite Brewer, since Paul Moliter for the all-star game. Vote for Corey Hart Bitches!

In other news, I decided not to even sip any alchohol until this bachelor party i am going to on Saturday. I dont thing I have much in the tank and this party is probably going to be crazy. So I will be taking it incredible easy this week. I didnt get any FEMA money but I am now applying for a federal loan to do the work in my house. I am guessing the total cost of repairst will range in the $8,500.00 range and I hadnt plugged that away for a rainy day, so I am hoping to get one of these loans. I hear they are like 2% interest or something like that and I believe you have a full year before you have to make any payment. So my fingers are crossed, in the mean time I finished moving upstairs, and my friend Aaron and his girl are moving in this weekend. I am pretty excited to be living with Aaron again as some of my favorite memories happened when we lived together on the corner of Kenwood and Maryland. Even though I nearly got us evicted before he even moved in. Anyways I apologize for the lack of posts, this summer has been the busiest of my life, and I dont see it slowing down anytime soon, so I dont know how much I will be posting. I hope to get back to posting everyday soon however, and I appreciate those who still take the time to stop by and read, DWI.

So heres a post

So I have had a few c-tails let's not beat around the bush. Speaking of Bush did all you "every man" porn seeking gentleman hear about the CC "Sabertoothe" Sabathia trade that went down, of course you did because if you didn't than we don't want you reading this shitty blog anymore. Oh and ESPN just reminded me of how much I am sick and tired of hearing about B. Farve and how bad he wants to M. Jordan the White Soxs or better yet the ideal of the Bulls. For fuck sakes let it go, you were great, but in his age he will shit his pants if he came back, figuratively speaking of course. Let A. Rogers do his thing whether he shits his pants or not it will be a fresh turd and not a turd that had threatened to ruin a fresh pair or plaid oshorts.
Anyway I just had a moment and thought I would poop in ( yeah I said poop) and say hi. So hi, I have been busy the last few months, so I apologize that I haven't been around the last few, not like you have given a shit.
I spent last sunday at the Tasties parents residence and let me tell you, I called one of my relatives the wrong name as I was leaving, that is the last time I snuggle up to the bar with Wes and my old man. The got me deep into the count with a bottle of Fleschies with Smirnoff as the closer. Thank god that Cop got caught looking on HWY BB, with that sinker that missed the middle of plate inside that I took deep into Edgerton for the home run.
Anyhoo it is great to be a Brewer fan these days my testicals are pretty jerked I mean jacked I mean I am happy to be home jerkin' it to the Brewers, I mean never mind. How should I end this..............your gay!

You cant make this shit up!

Since I have been on a petty theft theme, I thought I would let everyone know that if I ever get into home invasions, not to sounds gay or anything but this is exactly how I would go about it. To fucking funny.

Update: Ohio Trip and 4th of July Trip

As I mentioned last week, I was gone for the weekend in the Buckeye state visiting some relatives. I scheduled the trip for that weekend because I knew it would be a nice relaxing trip in between the two craziest weekends of the summer, Marshall Fest and our annually trip to up north for the 4th of July. I went to Ohio with my mom and my girlfriend and it was just as I hoped, a nice, cheap, peaceful weekend. I read two books, got as much sun as I could handle (90 degrees in Columbus), ate like a fucking pig, and visited with family. Pretty much a perfect vaca. The only thing that blew was a 10 hour ride home that had us stuck in traffic in the very beautiful Chicago Metropolitan area.

Anyways, I got back late Sunday and moved some things upstairs to my new room, and tried to wind down after that long ride. I have a lot of shit to get done this week, as I am moving, getting all the food for the trip, trying to fing some time for a buddy that is back from AZ, taking care of the lawn, and catching up at work from the two days I missed last week. I hope that since i am busy the week will fly by, because this is my favorite weekend of the summer each year. 3 days of craziness, in which you never can believe what happens next. Whether it be roman candles shooting at your dome, running from the cops in a paddle boat, shot after shot of wild turkey, gambling, dirty rip clubs, bathing the whale at the lake, you just cant beat a trip to northern wisconsin with 8 of your closest friends. Anyways I probably will be on sparingly the rest of the week, but I should have some great stories to tell when I get back.