Thursday, November 12, 2009

DWI Readers, I Need Your Help


So tomorrow I will be pouring the cement in my basement to complete the drainage system my father and I installed last spring. It has been over a year since I have had my basement sanctuary at my disposal and it has been sorely missed. Although I only lived down there for a year and a half a lot of memories were racked up at the sports bar, and although i would never call my bed a work bench, I did put in a little. Those days seem like such distant memories but all that could be changing...

I am sure most of you are familiar with the term "Man Cave". A place in the home in which guys can have complete refuge from there lives and the outside world. A place where you can drink a beer with friends, host a fantasy football draft, spill queso dip on your robe, or clean your pistol without anyone complaining. It is a dream of all men to have a spot like this. When i lived with a bunch of guys, the whole fucking house was a man cave, I mean we did what the fuck we wanted, wherever and whenever we wanted. It was great. As you know however I now have a special lady friend that lives with me, and we also have our lovely daughter that has more shit than I do, and no place to put it. I mean it was great with Jenny moving in, my place was clean, smelled good, and the it was decorated. However it is hard to look at decorations like "live" "laugh" "smile" on the wall. It is almost disgusting to me the amount of pillows and nick nacks that have a home in every free space of the living room. Oh and the family pictures, my god, is there a lot of family pictures. In any regard, it is nice is small doses, but a man cannot feel comfortable staring at a picture of himself with the family, when it is constant reminder of that awful day. Trying to hold that fake smile, while his itchy sweater is making him want to strangle his extremely homosexual photographer, I am telling you it will drive me to insanity. Enough is enough, it is time for me to reclaim some of the space in the place I have worked so hard on, and readers I need your help.

I found a couple of good blog posts of things every man cave needs. You can read that hear I am not putting a fucking bar made out of an air plane engine, or stripper pole, or condom dispenser in my basement. So you can save your breath on those genius ideas. Also please remember that the entire space is going to be broken into two spaces, one for me, and a play room for my daughter, so the life size card board cut out of Tabitha Stevens deep throating a 13" kielbasa probably wont work. I need this to be a place where a child could stumble in and not be scarred for the rest of her life. Not to say that any woman, including my daughter, will be let in the place, but there is a very good chance at some point I am going to need a refill, or need the carpet vacuumed so I am being realistic. So please, all readers, if you care about my well being, and my future utility, please give me your best ideas for the man cave. I am counting on you.

9 comments:

Harps said...

Just to give my dream of my man cave and i know you and i share this same intrest. Ive always pictured me to have the orginal theater posters to all my favorite movies. Getting them framed and hung up all over my basement has and untill i do it been an intrest of mine. Just my thought

Big Tasty said...

Harps,

A theatre room is something I have wanted for a long time. I was thinking a full size predator statue, but the movie posters is also a good idea. The problem is i dont think this is going to be a theatre room, just because i dont have the scrilla to get a projection or giant TV. Maybe if the BA can rig that super bowl drawing, so i win the TV I will be in business...

BeArCaT said...

I personally think you should get the complete series of "Be Cool" Posters and hang them up around the room, i saw a guy who had that once. one word, Awesome!!!

McGarnagle said...

Browne..life size prints of Bear's smiling dome. Nothing will keep your kid on the straight and narrow more then being scared shitless by Bear's grill.

meanbeav said...

When(if) Nathan ever finishes our basement, I want him to use his DBI expertise to rig some kind of push-button suction-tube delivery system for beers from the fridge to the couch, much like a bank teller station. I think that would be sweet. Oh, and I want him to move all of the dead animal heads downstairs. I think every man cave needs some kind of dead taxidermied animal...

Big Tasty said...

meanbeav,

Great ideas, I really like the idea of a bear skin rug down there, but I am not sure where to get one. I hunt, but would hardly call myself a hunter, I more or less like holding a gun and shooting, I could do without the cold weather, deer carcasses, and cross fire. So I am not sure I will have many animals on the wall.

Timmay said...

Two words: Bowling alley. A lane or two, a poster of Nixon bowling, some nice Lebowski memorabilia, and perhaps a deep fat fryer.

Big Tasty said...

TK,

Another great idea, I may however have to settle for some wii bowling. A buddy of mine is seriously considering putting in 2 lanes in his basement and I think that would be amazing. I dont even like to bowl, but high stakes cash games in somebodies basement is a complete different story.

Harps said...

I can help with pins if you need them buddy! As far as the life size predator that is outstanding. You know ill have the dark knight in my cave. We will just have to see about those tv's. i can be bought