I did a post a while back about things that I hate and really piss me off, well since I have been bitching a lot lately on the blog I thought I would post things that make me happy. Please by all means post a top 5 list of things that make you happy. This list is in no order.
A Badger "W"
Fish Fry with the Parents
Whisky (on the rocks or with a lil H20)
Being Fellated without having to beg!
Food @ bar time
Tailgating
March Madness
Bathing the whale at the beach
blunt or joint whatever is handy
Getting my girl to climax before me (at least I think this makes me happy not sure I ever got a girl to climax)
Movie Night
No Scope in Halo
Playing hoops
A big chew against the lip after dinner
Swimming (dont dare challenge me to a fight in any body of water)
YouTube
Bad action movies
Cuddling (what can I say teddy bears need to be hugged!)
kissing
Sharing a bottle of wine, or drinking the whole thing myself.
Sleeping in
Punching out of work on Friday afternoon
How easy it is to look at boobs on the internet.
Having a girlfriend that likes me as much as I like her
Spring break
Sports gambling
Mountain Dew
Beer Goggles
Mulhern family weddings
Doggystyle
I will stop at 30. Let me hear the top five things that make you happy, cmon people!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Boooo Ya
So tommorow will be my first Brewer tailgate of the year (Technically second, but the first one wasnt of the all day variety) and i guess you could say I am getting a little excited for it. Yeah the Brewers have been dissapointing so far this year, they are still the one home pro team that I root for consistently and getting to the Miller Park lot at least 10 times a year is a must for me. I am so excited I actually plan on just staying in tonight and not letting myself be hung over, for what I plan on being the craziest day I have had in a while. I still havent decided if I am going to stay in Milwaukee and venture down to River Splash, or if I just will hitch a ride home with the Marshall tailgaters. Either way we are leaving at 10 am for a 6 pm game which should tell you everything you need to know. I was thinking about bringing something crazy to grill up, but I think I have settled on bread, butter, a frying pan, and cheese slices. I think a grilled cheese sandwich is going to go wonderfully with beer/whiskey/wine/jungle juice that I am sure i will be drinking all day long. Anyway I am also bringing a plastic bag to puke in if it comes to that later in the day. I dont have tickets to the game, so anyone out there that wants to come party, I think it is like $8 to get into the lot. I will be there until they kick me out. Does anyone even know who the Brewers are playing tommorow?
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Deal With It Is Not Dead
I realize that the posts have been coming few and far in between lately, deal with it. I cannot speak for C$$$, to tell you the truth I dont even know if he is still alive, but I can say that I have had little time to update the blog on a regular basis. This can be attributed to many things, including a busy work schedule, my health (sick as a dog lately) and my inability to come up with anything funny lately. Still I promise you this is only a lull and DWI will pick up here as the summer months start rolling.
Since I havent posted about myself in a while, in fear of ol C$$$ ripping on me about how his live is painfully shittier than mine no matter what happens to me, I have decided to do a little catch up. Last weekend was absolutely nuts and pretty much sums my life up to a tee these days. Basically just expect the unexpected. Friday night was the 1 year anniversary of my little drug bust, and the roomies and I wanted to celebrate proper. I should have known that Wild Turkey would be playing a role in the evening as soon as I went out. The night was pretty tame until Jake and I started running the dart board and the free drinks started rolling. I was back in rare form puking before midnight and begging my girlfriend to come pick me up before I passed out in the back of the bar. She was kind enough to take us home safely and the night ended up being pretty quiet. I was planning on taking Saturday off because Sunday I had to help the girl move from Milwaukee back to her parents house outside of Cambridge. That was much harder than I thought so I just decided I would be the DD so I wouldnt get anymore shit from my friends about not drinking. Well let me tell you something about me, I cannot stand drunk people at all. Everyone was having the time of there lives and I was stuck drinking a H20 wondering how much better I would be doing if it was drowned out with whisky. Anyways I lasted until near bar time before I couldnt take it anymore and i grabbed as many as my friends as I could and headed home. Sunday we left at 7 to start the move. It was probably the most painless move I had to encounter because everything was very organized and ready to go. Basically it was an hour of hard work, followed by my thirst building for the rest of the day. My girlfriend, caught my cold, and decided she was going to stay in for the night so I got ready and headed to marshall in attempt to beat the storm. We picked up a few cases and went to the Pods house where about twenty dudes were ready to rock. I quickly located a bottle of crown royal and went to work. One blunt and few crown's later I was ready to party so I caught a ride to Waterloo where I figured shit would be bumpin. Waterloo was just ayyite, basically every time I go there, some type of fight breaks out so I usually just hang with guys who think they can kick a lot of ass, in hopes nobody will mess with me. This usually works but can be pretty lame sometimes because usually these guys just talk about how tough they are, and if I am interested in taking on any four guys in the bar with them. Anyways I wasnt expecting my brother would be the one who wanted to get frisky. I have been whooping up on my brother forever, but for some reason now he thinks he is a lot tougher than me. THis may or not be the case but dont try and find out after I am a half of crown royal deep. After some innocent wrestling around I for some reason thought he needed a double fish hook. This has been my finishing move for a long time, but I never realized it worked so well. I nearly had him in tears before I realized how much pain i had him in. I let him go stepped back and he kicked me right in the nuts. Now a kick to the nuts is the worst thing that can happen to a man. A kick to the nuts when you are drunk may even be worse. It completely dropped me and I forgot even why we were messing around in the first place, i lit a smoke and went outside for some fresh air, and try and locate my testicles. I was outside for maybe twenty minutes before hopping a ride with some of my crew back to Marshall. My brother and his girl friend were going to SP for some food so i hopped another ride and came home. It wasnt long before i passed out full clothed wishing I would have been a little smarter about my drinking that evening. This is really important the next day when I wake up. My phone wont stop beeping at 630 a.m and I get up to see what the fuck is so damn important. I read this text, "dude your tree blew down and it is Kenny's driveway". At this point I dont even know what to think because my head is pounding and it is 630 am on a fucking holiday monday. I get up to check it out and find that not only is the tree blown over, but it has completely landed on both of the neighbors cars. Now let me tell you a little bit about the neighbors very nice people but I am pretty sure they are one step away from the Jerry Springer show. Kenny, as I have learned, has been in and out of jail, drinks pretty much non-stop, and has never met any physical labor that he couldnt do better when he is hammered. Needless to say I didnt want to deal with this yahoo on my holiday. I called my old man and said I needed his chain saw and he told me he would be over around 830. I go throw some shorts on and check out the damage. The tree literally split in half, with one half completely ingulping the neighbors driveways, smashing the hood and windshield of one vehicle, and smashing the wind shield of Kennys truck. I went in to call my insurance company and while I am inside I hear a chainsaw start up. I walk outside and look out and damn near every person on the block is outside of my house, and Kenny is standing on the top of his truck with a chainsaw doing work. I go outside and we start cutting up this tree. I find out that my insurance wont cover any of it, because the tree is not rotted? Hmmm. why the hell would it cover a rotted tree that could go down at any time, but not a healthy tree that needs an act of god for it to go down. I am fucking sick of insurance companies right now. Well my dad showed up and we got branch removed and off of the vehicles. Well after the work was done Kenny was ready to play. So he starts hammering bloody marries and I go inside and make some breakfast. I come back out and the drunken neighbors have put a no parking sign on the other half of the tree, and are pretty much completely wasted, mind you it is 10 am. I am thankful they are in good spirits and I continue about my day. Since it is such a nice day out we spend most of the day outside. Kenny comes on over so we can rehash the incident and I cannot understand a word he is saying. He tells me that he can take the rest of the tree down the next day, which I am dreading to hear, because I know he will be doing this the most dangerous way possible, while drinking, and I dont want to come home to my neighbor with a chainsaw stuck in his side. So I talk him out of it and we bull shit for a while, before he heads home. I call up some peeps and we decide to have a cookout. It isnt long before all we can hear is screaming and cursing coming from Kenny's house. Apparently not all is well like I previously thought. I take a look and Kenny's 3rd or 4th wife is threatening to call the cops as she hops into her car that has a smashed windshield and the roof caved in. Kenny is in his dump truck trying to ram her car. Yeah not really what I wanted to be seeing. The wife speeds off and Kenny proceeds to start yelling at his neighbors for telling him how to live his life. This goes on for another hour or so, until he finally passes out. We enjoy the hell out of our cook out and watch a couple of movies before hitting the sack. All in all a damn fine weekend.
Since I havent posted about myself in a while, in fear of ol C$$$ ripping on me about how his live is painfully shittier than mine no matter what happens to me, I have decided to do a little catch up. Last weekend was absolutely nuts and pretty much sums my life up to a tee these days. Basically just expect the unexpected. Friday night was the 1 year anniversary of my little drug bust, and the roomies and I wanted to celebrate proper. I should have known that Wild Turkey would be playing a role in the evening as soon as I went out. The night was pretty tame until Jake and I started running the dart board and the free drinks started rolling. I was back in rare form puking before midnight and begging my girlfriend to come pick me up before I passed out in the back of the bar. She was kind enough to take us home safely and the night ended up being pretty quiet. I was planning on taking Saturday off because Sunday I had to help the girl move from Milwaukee back to her parents house outside of Cambridge. That was much harder than I thought so I just decided I would be the DD so I wouldnt get anymore shit from my friends about not drinking. Well let me tell you something about me, I cannot stand drunk people at all. Everyone was having the time of there lives and I was stuck drinking a H20 wondering how much better I would be doing if it was drowned out with whisky. Anyways I lasted until near bar time before I couldnt take it anymore and i grabbed as many as my friends as I could and headed home. Sunday we left at 7 to start the move. It was probably the most painless move I had to encounter because everything was very organized and ready to go. Basically it was an hour of hard work, followed by my thirst building for the rest of the day. My girlfriend, caught my cold, and decided she was going to stay in for the night so I got ready and headed to marshall in attempt to beat the storm. We picked up a few cases and went to the Pods house where about twenty dudes were ready to rock. I quickly located a bottle of crown royal and went to work. One blunt and few crown's later I was ready to party so I caught a ride to Waterloo where I figured shit would be bumpin. Waterloo was just ayyite, basically every time I go there, some type of fight breaks out so I usually just hang with guys who think they can kick a lot of ass, in hopes nobody will mess with me. This usually works but can be pretty lame sometimes because usually these guys just talk about how tough they are, and if I am interested in taking on any four guys in the bar with them. Anyways I wasnt expecting my brother would be the one who wanted to get frisky. I have been whooping up on my brother forever, but for some reason now he thinks he is a lot tougher than me. THis may or not be the case but dont try and find out after I am a half of crown royal deep. After some innocent wrestling around I for some reason thought he needed a double fish hook. This has been my finishing move for a long time, but I never realized it worked so well. I nearly had him in tears before I realized how much pain i had him in. I let him go stepped back and he kicked me right in the nuts. Now a kick to the nuts is the worst thing that can happen to a man. A kick to the nuts when you are drunk may even be worse. It completely dropped me and I forgot even why we were messing around in the first place, i lit a smoke and went outside for some fresh air, and try and locate my testicles. I was outside for maybe twenty minutes before hopping a ride with some of my crew back to Marshall. My brother and his girl friend were going to SP for some food so i hopped another ride and came home. It wasnt long before i passed out full clothed wishing I would have been a little smarter about my drinking that evening. This is really important the next day when I wake up. My phone wont stop beeping at 630 a.m and I get up to see what the fuck is so damn important. I read this text, "dude your tree blew down and it is Kenny's driveway". At this point I dont even know what to think because my head is pounding and it is 630 am on a fucking holiday monday. I get up to check it out and find that not only is the tree blown over, but it has completely landed on both of the neighbors cars. Now let me tell you a little bit about the neighbors very nice people but I am pretty sure they are one step away from the Jerry Springer show. Kenny, as I have learned, has been in and out of jail, drinks pretty much non-stop, and has never met any physical labor that he couldnt do better when he is hammered. Needless to say I didnt want to deal with this yahoo on my holiday. I called my old man and said I needed his chain saw and he told me he would be over around 830. I go throw some shorts on and check out the damage. The tree literally split in half, with one half completely ingulping the neighbors driveways, smashing the hood and windshield of one vehicle, and smashing the wind shield of Kennys truck. I went in to call my insurance company and while I am inside I hear a chainsaw start up. I walk outside and look out and damn near every person on the block is outside of my house, and Kenny is standing on the top of his truck with a chainsaw doing work. I go outside and we start cutting up this tree. I find out that my insurance wont cover any of it, because the tree is not rotted? Hmmm. why the hell would it cover a rotted tree that could go down at any time, but not a healthy tree that needs an act of god for it to go down. I am fucking sick of insurance companies right now. Well my dad showed up and we got branch removed and off of the vehicles. Well after the work was done Kenny was ready to play. So he starts hammering bloody marries and I go inside and make some breakfast. I come back out and the drunken neighbors have put a no parking sign on the other half of the tree, and are pretty much completely wasted, mind you it is 10 am. I am thankful they are in good spirits and I continue about my day. Since it is such a nice day out we spend most of the day outside. Kenny comes on over so we can rehash the incident and I cannot understand a word he is saying. He tells me that he can take the rest of the tree down the next day, which I am dreading to hear, because I know he will be doing this the most dangerous way possible, while drinking, and I dont want to come home to my neighbor with a chainsaw stuck in his side. So I talk him out of it and we bull shit for a while, before he heads home. I call up some peeps and we decide to have a cookout. It isnt long before all we can hear is screaming and cursing coming from Kenny's house. Apparently not all is well like I previously thought. I take a look and Kenny's 3rd or 4th wife is threatening to call the cops as she hops into her car that has a smashed windshield and the roof caved in. Kenny is in his dump truck trying to ram her car. Yeah not really what I wanted to be seeing. The wife speeds off and Kenny proceeds to start yelling at his neighbors for telling him how to live his life. This goes on for another hour or so, until he finally passes out. We enjoy the hell out of our cook out and watch a couple of movies before hitting the sack. All in all a damn fine weekend.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Friday With Dick
I think I am going to pick this book up this weekend. Something about this guy that just cracks me up. No I dont agree with what he says, but damn he can make me laugh!
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Noel, you wanna know how I know that you are gay...
Cuz you watch the Hills. I will admit some of the chicks are good looking, but that is no excuse. I know secretly you watch because you wish you were more like this Spencer Pratt, douche. Well let me tell you something about Spencer Pratt I hate em, I hate em, I hate em alot. This guy travels with his own hired photographer just so he can have pictures like on the internet. Noel I see any of this shit taped on our DVR and it is gone, Deal With IT!
Noel Is This The Life You Want?
Noel Is This The Life You Want?
Dont Try This @ Home
Ever wonder what it would be like to rub you nuts in icey hot, take a shot of the worlds hottest extract, get kicked in the nuts, shot with 3 paintball guns, pepper sprayed, and the tased until you cannot take? Well check out this video.
Insane Stunt Makes Dude Cry - Watch more free videos
Insane Stunt Makes Dude Cry - Watch more free videos
Hilarious PhotoShopping
This guy has a blog where he takes porn pics and turns them into something really funny. MNSFW C$$$ with your artistic abilities we should do a site like this.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Humpday: I Knew This Would Happen
I guess the celebs keep tabs on my blog just like I keep track of them on WWTD. Not surprising after hearing news that I am no longer on the market, a few of my favorite ladies: Jessica, Jessica, and Scarlett have decided to settle some place else. This news does not suprise me as the only reason they werent married in the first place was they were obviously waiting on what I was going to do. Sorry ladies, I have found another. Good luck, and I wish you nothing but the best. In honor of this wonderful news, I am posting my favorite pics you guys! Enjoy!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Don't Be That Guy!
Normally I would save this until a couple of days before the first big Badger tailgates, but I found this link and it is absolutely spot on. It is basically a list describing the different type of tailgaters. I think I fall under the "Liquid Diet Guy"-
"This guy is only interested in one thing, getting hammered. You could have the greatest spread of tailgating food ever placed before mankind, this guy just wants to drink. Shots of tequila followed by Jell-o shots chased with a 24 oz. can of Bud. All in a day’s work for Liquid Diet Guy. Sadly, he overpaid for his ticket to the game or concert and gets too drunk to get in or is too wasted to even know who is playing."
Yeah... TK you want to attest to this? Seriously though check out this link and let me know what type of tailgater you are?!?
I would like to add I have also fallen under these tailgate party guys:
"The Devils Advocate" -doesnt root for either team playing, instead roots against the team my friends are cheering for. Usually making outrageous bets, and even for outrageous acusations. Sometimes causing fights between friends. "Bare down, Chicago Bears!"
"The Stoner"- Gets so stoned at the tailgate completely forgets that he is attending a game. Usually has bought snacks three times by the 1st quarter, and will be no good remembering where you parked!
"The Food and Beverage Thief"- This is different from the moocher. Instead you dont even pretend like you are just a nice guy looking for a couple of hand me outs. Instead you go the exact opposite route, and steal food and drink from vendors, and neighboring tail gates. This usually follows "The Liquid Diet Guy".
"The Fat Guy With a Little Head"- Yes this was my rock bottom moment when I was tipping the scales at nearly 3 bills. I made my size 7 5/8 noggin look out of proportion on my enourmous body. That is fat!
oh and my personal favorite!
"The Deal With It, Douchebag"- This clown has someone else throw a tailgate for him in which he only invites his friends. He drinks all day long in which many times he becomes too obnoxious for even the hosts to control. He will rip your gold wing to shreads and piss on the hood of your car. He can be spotted slapping bags of wine, or tipping over in chairs. Give him a ride home and he will puke all over your the backseat of your car and tell you to Deal With It. Get him home and he will strip down and act like nothing happened and then watch a world series game with his old man, like it is just another the day in the life...
Yeah this should do wonders in getting people to attend my next tailgate...
Thursday, May 15, 2008
America's Hottest College Girl?!?
According to this link America's Hottest College Girl goes to the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee. I checked the link and am going on record to say that I have had better and maybe even done worse. Does anyone believe this is the hottest college chick out there? I love the questions they ask her. I got some questions for this babe: A2M? DVDA? Would you like another drink? Would you mind if I posted naked photos of you on the internet (that one I would probably ask with my fingers crossed) I check out the Pac 10 poon site religously and I have to say the west coast poon is a lot better. No offense to this girl, she is very foxy and I am glad to say UWM has come in first in something. This is better than the record that our house had, for most freshman girls in need of getting there stomach's pumped. Dustin, I know you read this, we are throwing a big bash at your house this weekend. I will supply all the beer and zima you can drink, your one goal is to get this babe there. Dont worry the Dr. will take care of the rest. Does anyone know where I can pick up the following items: condoms guranteed to bust for when the zima kicks-in, and a ski mask and chlroroform when she informs me she doesnt drink???
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Ten Best Asses in Beach Volleyball
I found this link over on With Leather. Worth checking out. MNSFW
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
C$$$ Can Eat a Big Fat Dick!
C$$$,
I have noticed quite a bit of animosity towards me lately. Unlike you I am not going to hate. Instead I had one of your favorite rappers write a song about you. Let me know what you think. You said you like Dre right? Well here you go...
C$$, C-weed, where the fuck ya at?
Can't rap a lick, so I know ya got your gat
Your dick on hard, from fuckin wit tasty.
The Palmer you grew up with, Harper you grew up with
Don't even respect your ass
That's why it's time for doctor cream, to check your ass, nigga
Used to be my homey, used to be my ace
Now I wanna slap the taste out yo mouth
Make you bow down to the browne
Fuckin me, now I'm fuckin you, lil clown
Oh, don't think I forgot, let you slide
Let me ride, just another homicide
Yeah it's me so I'ma talk on
Stompin on the streets of SP that you used to walk on
So strap on your Moose Racin hat, you dope.
watch your radar cause that’s me wit that no scope
so what i pass the bud? and talk about feelings?
now you lost all your homey's love
Now call it what you want to
You fucked wit me, now it's a must that I fuck wit you
[Break One: Dre]
Yeah, that's what the fuck I'm talkin about
We have your motherfuckin art studio surrounded
Put down the jergens and let the little boy go
You knowhatI'msayin, punk motherfucker
(**We want Eazy, we want Eazy**)
Now understand this my nigga McCain can't be touched
Baracks bendin over, so Baracks gettin fucked, busta
Musta, thought I was sleazy
Or though I was a mark cause my knuckles be cheezy
Animosity, made ya speak but ya spoke
Ay yo McCain, whattup, break c$$ something off loc
If it ain't another oren that I gots ta fuck with
Gap teeth in my mouth that your dicks sure to fit
With my nuts on ya tonsils
While ya onstage rappin at your wack-ass concerts
And I'ma snatch girl from the backside
To show you how my knuckles get brown when they inside
Now you might not understand me
I will rob you in Edgerton and blast you in Sun Prair-ie
Then we gon creep down on to Marshall
On a Silver Fox Mission, as I steps in the temple
Spot him, got him, as I pulls out my strap
Got my chrome to the side of his racing cap
You tryin to check McCain, you better check yo self
Cause when you diss Jon you diss yourself, MOTHERFUCKER
Friday, May 9, 2008
I Apologize...No I Don't
Sorry h-mo's I know I haven't been to present on DWI for about 2 weeks since my super sweet music video, which by the way debuted at number 3 on TRL. So blow me everyone who said my thumbs were too wide to rap. Further more, I haven't kept my eye balls from the net. I want to share with you some a vid that totally made my balls sweat, inapropes I mean penis dribble out the tip.
First, I love Bale in American Pyscho. If I were to ever do a spoof, I could only hope it would be this fucking genius...and really hilarious.
Second, A little known fact. In the 80's I was a guest on Geraldo. I never thought in a million years it would make it to the web. I mean come on it was in the eighties, how do people even record VHS to digital. Either way before you saw it in the discomfort of your own home. I thought I better come clean with my past...
Oh and one more thing, I known the Big Taste doesn't like to get political on DWI, but since he also doesn't like to get all emotional and suicidal but yet he some how still accomplishes that at least twice a week with his "Nice Guy Finishes Last" commentary. I thought I would post this interesting Obama speech ( if you are wondering I am endorsing The Obama for Presidency, eat a McCain Dick Browne) this is exactly how I hope O-bombs runs the country...all black guy and shit. Speaking of which man I could go for some Night Train and some armed robbery with some deep fried Gang activity.
I apologize, I listened to a lot of Dr. Dre and Coolio in the 90's so I am kind of pre-disposed to crime and deep fried greatness.
ps yes I have been tipping back the seven since the brewers finally won one game out out of seven. Weeks I could totally give you an HJ...does that make up for it b-peeps?
First, I love Bale in American Pyscho. If I were to ever do a spoof, I could only hope it would be this fucking genius...and really hilarious.
See more funny videos at CollegeHumor
Second, A little known fact. In the 80's I was a guest on Geraldo. I never thought in a million years it would make it to the web. I mean come on it was in the eighties, how do people even record VHS to digital. Either way before you saw it in the discomfort of your own home. I thought I better come clean with my past...
See more funny videos at CollegeHumor
Oh and one more thing, I known the Big Taste doesn't like to get political on DWI, but since he also doesn't like to get all emotional and suicidal but yet he some how still accomplishes that at least twice a week with his "Nice Guy Finishes Last" commentary. I thought I would post this interesting Obama speech ( if you are wondering I am endorsing The Obama for Presidency, eat a McCain Dick Browne) this is exactly how I hope O-bombs runs the country...all black guy and shit. Speaking of which man I could go for some Night Train and some armed robbery with some deep fried Gang activity.
See more funny videos at CollegeHumor
I apologize, I listened to a lot of Dr. Dre and Coolio in the 90's so I am kind of pre-disposed to crime and deep fried greatness.
ps yes I have been tipping back the seven since the brewers finally won one game out out of seven. Weeks I could totally give you an HJ...does that make up for it b-peeps?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Hmmm, Weather Poon???
I found this funny ass blog post. Definately worth checking out.
The 10 Hottest Weather Girls With Big Boobs
Mildly NSFW
The 10 Hottest Weather Girls With Big Boobs
Mildly NSFW
Kobe!
As you may have heard Kobe Bryant was named NBA MVP yesterday, his first MVP award. It took him 12 years and a few hardships...errr rapings, but he is deserving. Kobe has been my favorite player to watch the last couple years, because he can do things I have never seen done on the court. Now I know you cannot compare Kobe to Jordan but he is starting to put himself in this league. It is looking like he could win his 4th championship and 6th first team all-defensive team award. Jordan of course has 6 rings and 9 first team defensive selections which is ridiculous. He also was the finals MVP 6 times which nobody will ever beat. Still have had a chance to watch both play a lot and there are two things Kobe can do better than Jordan. He is a better ball handler and better 3 point shooter. So what I am trying to say is no he is not better than Jordan, but he is the only one that is going to get close, so enjoy watching one of the games best! I am hoping for first: A Kobe vs Chris Paul Bryant Western Conference Final, and then Kobe against either Lebron or KG in the finals. Either way I think the Lakers win and he proves the award was handed to the right person. Check Kobe jump over an Aston Martin below.
More sick Kobe!
Humpday: Arielle Kebbel
Not really in anything new. She has been in some shitty movies like John Tucker Must Die. Not worth seeing however, she is fun to look at...Enjoy!!!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Ironman Made What? 108 Million Your Fucking Kidding Right?
I don't understand what is going on in this country right now especially when it comes to America's taste in movies. The basic recipe in Hollywood is buy a Marvel comic book, and turn it into a movie. Wow that is genius. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoyed comics as a child, and I even enjoyed these films when they first started coming out, but come on. Does anyone want to do anything original anymore. With the success of films like Juno, There Will Be Blood, and No Country for Old Men, I thought this year we would start to more and more original movies. I guess I was wrong. What is even worse is because these films are successful the studios can land anyone they want to play the leads. See Christian Bale as Batman or Ed Norton as the new Hulk. These are some of my favorite actors in some of there worst roles. I usually go and see these movies as well, and end up disappointed. The last Super Hero movie I enjoyed was the first Spiderman, and that is because Willem Dafoe is bad ass! Still I go pay $8 and am disappointed, so I wanted to do a little ode, to the top 5 lamest super heroes. I am sure I will be breaking some of my readers hearts, but this madness needs to stop.
#5) Batman- Yes the caped crusader. Or is that Darkwing Duck. Anyways Batman is little more than Tim Allen from Tool Time with a mask. He possesses no super power except he is angry about the death of his parents and he vows to revenge them, by killing the scum of Gotham. Wait a minute we learned from the last movie that he also has the super power of being scared of nothing because he was able to like Bats again. How fucking stupid is that. Here is to the Joker whoopin Batman's Ass. Like one of my favorite songs (below)
#4) Superman- This reason Superman is lame isn't because his powers suck, his super powers are fucking awesome. However how about a little effort on the costume. Seriously, all Clark Kent does, is take off his glasses and a suit and underneath he has the little blue suit, which is made from full spandex. See here for what spandex can do to a man. Would it have been that hard to give him a mask? Are we that stupid that we cannot figure out who this guy is without his fucking glasses?
#3)The Punisher- I am pretty sure, when he lost his family to the evil drug lords that wear striped costumes. huh? He should of just turned to the bottle. Nope instead he decides to go buy a bunch of guns and seek revenge. At least he could have really good eye sight like the guy from shoot em up. Nope he is just a regular guy who knows how to use a gun. I wouldn't even call him a super hero, more like Orenthal James Simpson.
#2)Spiderman- I used to think Spiderman was the best Superhero, well maybe Magneto. However after Toby McGuire played him in the last three movies, my thoughts have completely changed. I wouldn't even want a little queer like that saving my life. That's right I would rather die than be saved by Toby McGuire.
#1)Captain Planet- Those who know me, know that I fucking cannot stand hippies, and this is what happens when a hippy gets super powers. I mean I kind of like that he is ultimately saving everyone by stopping people from destroying the earth. However do we really need to kill everyone that has ever threw the top of a 6 pack into the ocean. Stick to smoking weed hippie, leave the saving lives to real super heroes.
#5) Batman- Yes the caped crusader. Or is that Darkwing Duck. Anyways Batman is little more than Tim Allen from Tool Time with a mask. He possesses no super power except he is angry about the death of his parents and he vows to revenge them, by killing the scum of Gotham. Wait a minute we learned from the last movie that he also has the super power of being scared of nothing because he was able to like Bats again. How fucking stupid is that. Here is to the Joker whoopin Batman's Ass. Like one of my favorite songs (below)
#4) Superman- This reason Superman is lame isn't because his powers suck, his super powers are fucking awesome. However how about a little effort on the costume. Seriously, all Clark Kent does, is take off his glasses and a suit and underneath he has the little blue suit, which is made from full spandex. See here for what spandex can do to a man. Would it have been that hard to give him a mask? Are we that stupid that we cannot figure out who this guy is without his fucking glasses?
#3)The Punisher- I am pretty sure, when he lost his family to the evil drug lords that wear striped costumes. huh? He should of just turned to the bottle. Nope instead he decides to go buy a bunch of guns and seek revenge. At least he could have really good eye sight like the guy from shoot em up. Nope he is just a regular guy who knows how to use a gun. I wouldn't even call him a super hero, more like Orenthal James Simpson.
#2)Spiderman- I used to think Spiderman was the best Superhero, well maybe Magneto. However after Toby McGuire played him in the last three movies, my thoughts have completely changed. I wouldn't even want a little queer like that saving my life. That's right I would rather die than be saved by Toby McGuire.
#1)Captain Planet- Those who know me, know that I fucking cannot stand hippies, and this is what happens when a hippy gets super powers. I mean I kind of like that he is ultimately saving everyone by stopping people from destroying the earth. However do we really need to kill everyone that has ever threw the top of a 6 pack into the ocean. Stick to smoking weed hippie, leave the saving lives to real super heroes.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Movie Review: Lars and the Real Girl
This film came highly recommended by my cousin Tim and his wife, who I respect there movie opinions so much. Still when I picked up the box I had some skepticism that this movie was going to blow. Mainly that skepticism was based on the ridiculous story. Lars, played by Ryan Gosling, has lost both of his parents and would be considered a classic introvert. He stays to himself and lives in the garage of his brother and sisters home which is actually the home of his deceased family. Lars has never felt a connection anything like the one he lost with his parents and falls in love with a sex doll in which he names Bianca. Like I said this is a crazy idea for a movie, yet I found myself falling in love with everything about this film.
The story no matter how absurd it is actually takes on some pretty heavy material in a rather light way just like another recent favorite of mine Juno. Gosling, is strickened with pain and fears of further abandonment after his parents have deceased. His brother, played by up and coming actor Paul Schneider, loves him, but quickly left after the death of his parents, because of this his relationship with Lars is shattered. His sister in law played by Emily Mortimer, is trying to help Lars by showing that he is loved and that her and her husband care for Lars deeply. Gosling is magnificent once again. He spends a lot of time on screen with just a doll, yet the interaction he shares is wonderful. He does a great job showing the pain inside of himself through his interactions with others and when Bianca shows up at his door, you can actually see him fall in love with her.
The best parts of this movie, are when the town rallies together to support Lars and his doll girl friend. They take Bianca in as someone that has grown up in the town, and Bianca actually becomes a loved person, because the town realizes that this is how Lars is coping with the loss of his parents. Another wonderful character in this movie is Lars coworker, Margo, played by Khelli Garner. She has a crush on Lars from the start of this movie, but Lars is in no position to be in a healthy relationship, because he has completely closed himself off from interaction with real people. As Lars relationship with Bianca progresses he starts opening up to Margo, and you see him finally finding what he has desperately been looking for. Some one to be there for him! Lars as a character truly transforms in this movie and it makes you feel good. On one side we are sad to see Bianca “die” but because of this Lars is healed and can go on his way.
I think there is so much you can take out of this movie. Bianca was definitely Lars security blanket. He needed her to cope with his day-to-day life. Once he was able to get rid of that security blanket, he found some closure with the rest of the things that were going on in his life. He was able to connect with his brother again, he was able to put himself in social settings, and he was able to see that so many people cared about him. I think everyone will take something a little different from this movie and that’s what makes it great. Throw in wonderful performances from just about everyone in it and I will say it is definitely one of the most underrated films I have seen in a long time. Check it out!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
If you are interested...
This is a response I got from my congresswoman in regards to escalating gas prices. I thought a few things were interesting. Her thoughts on oil companies price gouging is interesting, because I do believe that during a time of emergency a president can stop price gouging and set prices at what he believes is fair market value. This would definately be up for Constitutional debate, but our current energy crises, could conceivably fall under the President's police powers. Therefore if we continue to rage war with the rest of the middle east, maybe a new president will be able to stop prices from continuing to sky rocket, at least temporarily.
Basically the response was what I expected. She gave me the run around, but at least it was a response. Basically that is all I wanted to hear. Let me know your thoughts?
May 1, 2008
Mr. Matt E. Browne
46 Tower Drive
Sun Prairie, Wisconsin 53590
Dear Mr. Browne:
Thank you for contacting me regarding high gas prices. It is good to hear from you, and I apologize for the delay in my response.
I appreciate knowing your concerns regarding high gasoline costs. I share your frustrations with the high price of gasoline, oil, and other fuels. I realize the impact the costs have on Wisconsin families and businesses that rely on gasoline to get them to work or that rely on natural gas to heat their homes.
Many have expressed concern that oil companies are price gouging and excessively profiting off America's misfortune. As you know, while American consumers have encountered high prices at the pumps, oil companies have been earning record-breaking profits. Last year, Exxon Mobil's fourth quarter profit rose to $10.7 billion, bringing their annual profit to over $36 billion. You will be interested to know that I recently sent a letter to President Bush urging him to call oil executives to account for the unsustainably high price of gasoline. I am concerned that some of the costs may be due to excess profit-taking by the gasoline industry. As you may know, there is currently no federal law banning price gouging.
To remedy this situation, I am a cosponsor of the Federal Price Gouging Prevention Act, H.R. 1252. This bill makes price gouging for necessary goods and services, such as gasoline, during natural disasters and other "energy emergencies" illegal. This bill authorizes the President to designate a period of time as an energy emergency, which outlaws price gouging during this time. You may be interested to know that I recently joined 284 of my colleagues in the U.S. House of Representatives in passing this bill by a vote of 284 to 141. This bill is currently awaiting further action in the U.S. Senate. Please know that I will keep your thoughts as I continue to support measures which prevent oil and gas vendors from holding consumers hostage with high prices during a time of national emergency.
Additionally, I believe we can lower the cost of gas by exploring alternative, renewable sources for energy. For this reason, I support several bills which lower our dependence on foreign oil, reduce our consumption of fossil fuels, and increase our fuel efficiency. I believe that if approach the problem of high gas prices by ensuring that gas companies are not engaging in unfair business practices as well as exploring and implementing alternative, renewable options we will all benefit from lower gas prices and a healthier environment. Please know that I will keep your thoughts in mind regarding high gas prices as I continue to support measures which will lower the cost of energy.
Again, thank you for sharing your views. Your opinion matters to me. If I can be of service to you in any other way, please do not hesitate to let me know. As a security precaution, all mail sent to Congress is first irradiated. This process causes significant delays. To ensure the fastest response, I encourage all constituents who have access to the internet to contact me through my website at http://tammybaldwin.house.gov.
Sincerely,
Tammy Baldwin Member of Congress
P.S. I regularly send out email updates on federal issues and opportunities. These reports also include regular surveys through which you can express your opinion. If you would like to receive these email updates, you may sign up by visiting my website at: http://www.house.gov/formbaldwin/IMA/get_address_news.htm
Basically the response was what I expected. She gave me the run around, but at least it was a response. Basically that is all I wanted to hear. Let me know your thoughts?
May 1, 2008
Mr. Matt E. Browne
46 Tower Drive
Sun Prairie, Wisconsin 53590
Dear Mr. Browne:
Thank you for contacting me regarding high gas prices. It is good to hear from you, and I apologize for the delay in my response.
I appreciate knowing your concerns regarding high gasoline costs. I share your frustrations with the high price of gasoline, oil, and other fuels. I realize the impact the costs have on Wisconsin families and businesses that rely on gasoline to get them to work or that rely on natural gas to heat their homes.
Many have expressed concern that oil companies are price gouging and excessively profiting off America's misfortune. As you know, while American consumers have encountered high prices at the pumps, oil companies have been earning record-breaking profits. Last year, Exxon Mobil's fourth quarter profit rose to $10.7 billion, bringing their annual profit to over $36 billion. You will be interested to know that I recently sent a letter to President Bush urging him to call oil executives to account for the unsustainably high price of gasoline. I am concerned that some of the costs may be due to excess profit-taking by the gasoline industry. As you may know, there is currently no federal law banning price gouging.
To remedy this situation, I am a cosponsor of the Federal Price Gouging Prevention Act, H.R. 1252. This bill makes price gouging for necessary goods and services, such as gasoline, during natural disasters and other "energy emergencies" illegal. This bill authorizes the President to designate a period of time as an energy emergency, which outlaws price gouging during this time. You may be interested to know that I recently joined 284 of my colleagues in the U.S. House of Representatives in passing this bill by a vote of 284 to 141. This bill is currently awaiting further action in the U.S. Senate. Please know that I will keep your thoughts as I continue to support measures which prevent oil and gas vendors from holding consumers hostage with high prices during a time of national emergency.
Additionally, I believe we can lower the cost of gas by exploring alternative, renewable sources for energy. For this reason, I support several bills which lower our dependence on foreign oil, reduce our consumption of fossil fuels, and increase our fuel efficiency. I believe that if approach the problem of high gas prices by ensuring that gas companies are not engaging in unfair business practices as well as exploring and implementing alternative, renewable options we will all benefit from lower gas prices and a healthier environment. Please know that I will keep your thoughts in mind regarding high gas prices as I continue to support measures which will lower the cost of energy.
Again, thank you for sharing your views. Your opinion matters to me. If I can be of service to you in any other way, please do not hesitate to let me know. As a security precaution, all mail sent to Congress is first irradiated. This process causes significant delays. To ensure the fastest response, I encourage all constituents who have access to the internet to contact me through my website at http://tammybaldwin.house.gov.
Sincerely,
Tammy Baldwin Member of Congress
P.S. I regularly send out email updates on federal issues and opportunities. These reports also include regular surveys through which you can express your opinion. If you would like to receive these email updates, you may sign up by visiting my website at: http://www.house.gov/formbaldwin/IMA/get_address_news.htm
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