Happy Halloween!

The only reason to actually like Halloween is because it is an excuse to get shitfaced, and there is an outside chance a guy like me could bang a chick like the ones above. Other than it sucks. The first 15 year old kid without a costume that comes to my house asking for candy is going to get me following him home and letting the air out of his bike tires.

Rays Fan=Dumb Phillies Fan=Dick

Before you get comfortable...

I have to tell you something. Ladies, I am going to have to ask you to sit down. This isn't going to be easy, but I don't know how else to say this...ummm whewww this is tough a...lot..harder....than I thought it was going to be. How do I say this...its not you........its me. All the rumors are true, I proposed to my girlfriend. We have been together for about three and half years and well...gulp quite frankly you are all skanks and you annoy me. LOL just kidding you don't annoy me, I am just not allowed to talk to you anymore. Thats right bitches C-Weed is off the market, so sit on your hands and close your legs. Its starting to smell like tuna in here. Am I right guys, hahah...ha..ha huuuuuhhh. Who am I kidding I am no Freddy Prince Jr. But I do feel like a million bucks. I am set to marry the most important person in my life, If she actually lets me. I have to say this was probably one of the easiest decisions I have ever made. Callie is by far the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am sure if you really know me you will agree. The hard part was trying to full fill what I thought was her perfect engagement. I had an idea of how I wanted to get engaged, but that it involved lots of sex and buffalo wings. Turns out not everyone is into that. Huh, I know right. I have had the ring for some time, but I was waiting for the right time and the right place. I think I was so worried about making it perfect that I couldnt even think of anything unique. Well I was getting pretty impatient and couldnt wait any longer. I decided Saturday morning while bow hunting that there is no reason to wait any longer. Today is the day, just do it already you pussy. Since Callie has been going to school and working nights we haven't had much personal time. Well she had the night off and was planning a supa good homemade Chinese dinner. So After dinner we settled in to some late night TV. I had to mix up all a tall boy to settle the nerves. I went to my incredibly secret hiding place and pulled out the ring and thats when it hit me. "Holly fuck I am really about to do this! Right now holly fuck!" So I pulled myself together walked up stairs into the living room and froze. I was freaking out, so I stood there watching some Americas Funniest Videos, laughing like a total awkward fag. It was pretty obvious I was up to something, luckily she normally blocks me out completely so she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. So I grabbed my (nuts) nerves and asked her to put the computer down for a minute. I got on one knee began to shake like a little bitch and the rest is history.
We don't have a date at the moment. We decided to wait until she finishes school in May to hash out the details. I would imagine probably a year and a half to two years before we make er' official.
Soooo yeah lets hear all the lame wedding cliches in the comments, like
-well its your funeral
-your gay
-the old ball and chain
-little black book
-do you want to go to the strip club
...wait yes, yes I do.

This is Hardly News Worthy

However John Daly was arrested at a Hooters for being, yep you guessed it, highly intoxicated. Coppers what the hell do you expect this is John Daly we are talking about here. He is supposed to get really hammered and be the life of the party like every funny fat guy. John I feel for you buddy, you have a role in society, you play it quite well and they arrest your for it? Man cant catch a break. If it is any consolation you are in the list of top five people i would like to get hammered with.

1. Farley
2. Bo Ryan
3. John Daley
4. Ron Dayne
5. Any penthouse pet ever.

Please submit your drinking buddy list!

Funny Fail Videos

I have been getting my inbox bombarded with these forwards of pictures of people failing like this women on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire". This website takes it one step further with the top 10 fail videos this will chear you up if you are having a bad morning like I am.

Humpday: Ginger Spice

Gerri Halliwell used to be the sexiest spice girl until vicky b's stock skyrocketed after her marriage to David Beckham. It is amazing what banging a soccer star will do to your looks. Anyways Ginger has and always will hold a special place near my heart. Oh the things a 7th boy will wank too. Enjoy!

Photos from CamelTap

True of False?

If this is true, than Brett Farve is a fucking fag! End of story.
If this is true,....I have to go clean up.
You are probably asking yourself, what in the Carmen San Diego do these have to do with one another. Good question.

May or may not be SFW, let me know what your IT dept. thinks.

Nerd Boner Alert

**SHWING** Watch the video.

Guess who's back...maybe via Youtube

Hey guess what Eminem might be back. Nobody has heard a word from this guy in many years. Especially after his right hand man Proof was gunned down at shitty night club in Detroit. Oh and pictures were taken of him looking like the Michelan Man. Even then I don't think he was heard from. Anyway, this may or may not be from his new album tentatively called "Relapse". Pretty clever when Dr.Dre has had an album slated for realease called "Detox" for like 7 years (Seriously Dre put down the HGH and release it already. God you always do this when you are strung out on roids all day!) I know I have grown to hate Eminem since his last album I like to call "Shit Stains Don't Wipe Themselves, Eminem does" But this sounds decent. I am almost positive Kempf is going "pfff typical Craig" But it really sounds like Eminem is going to come with some crazy shit this time around. Like some deep disturbing shit. I cant imagine locking yourself in your home for a couple of years after your best friend gets shot in the face and dies, is the best thing anybody can do especially when your already fucked up in the first place. But who am I to judge...I know right?!? LOL!! I am kind of excited for his next album, but than again I bought some white glasses that look like vanecian blinds when Kanye West's new joint came out.**Shoulder shrugzz, grabbin my nuts, heel toe, heel toe**
And yes I am trying to turn this blog into a latino night club in McFarland. AYAYAYEEEBAH!! GUNSHOTS!!!

Sauger Salute!

If you dont know by now my friend started calling big breasts saugers (which is a form walleye I have been told) No it doesnt make any sense but it has caught on and I cannot help yelling it every time I see a great pair. Anyways this picture was over at With Leather with this Link if you like saugers you must click on it. I promise you it wont dissapoint.

Best Rapper Athletes!

Two things I love are sports and rap music unfortunately you mix them together and you have quite a mess. Now this isnt Robert Brooks "Jump in the Stands" bad but this is pretty terrible.









Wow these are awful. If anyone can find anymore athletes making themselves look like fools let me know.

Weekend

Well my bday came and went and it was great. Everytime I do a bday party or xmas party, I get reminded to how many wonderful friends I have. I mean yeah a few of them will sabotage your chili that you worked very hard on, by putting rocks in it, but besides that all of them are great. A glance at my weekend.

- Friday night we went to Samba Brazilian Steakhouse and it was wonderful. For those carnivores that have never gone to a Brazilian steakhouse, I suggest doing so soon. We had a choice of seven different meats. Duck, 2 choices of steak, lamb, argentian sausage, grilled chicken, and pork tenderloin. After the gauchos made there way around 4 or 5 times I literally could not move any more. I definately got my money's worth.

- Later Friday night a few friends stopped by and we played madden and had a few beers. We all took it easy because the caravan was leaving at 930 the next morning. I did however dominate Aaron in Madden.

- Saturday I was up at 730 ready to get started. We packed up and headed downtown around 945. The lot didnt open until 1030 so we decided to go to the lot right next door. I thought the tailgate went well. I did forget a few things that caused some problems, but all in all I think everyone had a good time. We drank (4) 1.75 liter of vodka and (2) barrels by 6 pm. Everyone wanted me to get a 3rd barrel but I was getting hammered and needed to clean things up so we could make it to the bars for the start of the game. I think people would have been happy to watch the game at the tailgate if we could have got cable on my 21". It was truly a great day for a tailgate as we actually had to find some shade on an 80 degree day.

- Then the Badger game came on and put me in a terrible mood. The badgers couldnt have played any worse. They didnt show up and now the season seems to be lost. I could see them losing five games in a row. They may be playing closer to Dec 1st than January 1st.

- We headed back to SP around the start of the 3rd quarter and I watched the end of the game from there. It was just ugly all the way around. I decided the only thing that made sense was shots and whisky's.

- After holding up pretty strong all day I hit a wall around 1230 and had to call it an evening. I went home to a trashed house as a bunch of people made it back there as well. Not to mention all my green was gone. Still it had been a wonderful day and everyone made it home safe.

- Sunday I woke up around 8ish to say good bye to the last people crashed at my place. I then took my buddy jon back to Marshall for some bong rips and breakfast. I thought I was going to be chilling on the couch all day as I felt like absolute garbage, but i returned to find my parents over eager to work. So we worked until 1230 or so and got the remainder of the house painted. Next up will be the soffit and gutters but the exterior of the house is looking much much better. After that I hung out and watched a couple of fantasy victories before my GF took me out to dinner again for my bday! I am truly a spoiled kid. Then I came back and aaron repaid the favor and kicked my ass in Madden before I called it a night. A wonderful weekend. However I am sick as a dog right now and I need to use all of these next five days wisely to recover because next weekend is our annual guys trip to Green Bay for a Packer game. It usually is one of the wildest weekends of the year, and you better be at full strength. Looking forward to.

Just want to finish up by saying thank you to everyone who had a hand in making my 26th birthday one of the best to date. Thanks!

A Funny SNL Skit

So my brother was doing this funny Mark Wahlberg impression all weekend that he saw on SNL and now they have posted the video on WWTD and Filmdrunk. I will admit the SNL skit is pretty funny. Adam Sandberg is pretty much the only funny person on the show right now. Here is the video.

If had 50 CENTS for everytime he sucked....

I could bailout every bank in the world! God damn 50 cent couldnt get any worse, wait no he can like he has with every record he has put out since Get Rich Or Die Trying. I will admit, I liked that album. But he went down hill from that point forward.
I guess this is his a new single of his new album. Get this he is directing a movie and recording a new album that will coincide with the movie and making a soundtrack to the movie (50 cent=stop already). Now look any real artist who puts time and passion into there craft can not and will not jam this much shit into circulation. He is basically just going " Yo I'z gunna ride diz shit tillz the weelz fall offz, look I am barelyz evenz speakingz wordz and deez mal-fuckahz lovz itz. Well I am not fuck you.
I am sure you all know I used to dabble in the rap biz and by dabble I mean I bought a mic from Radio Shack for 50 bucks and downloaded some recording software for free and ripped the mother fucker to death (shoulder shrugz). I recorded one album and It turns out it became a cult classic. Well I did one thing right that ol' 50 didn't. I hung that mic up the moment my Gateway crashed and I wrapped my solo album. I am pretty sure I could come out of retirement right now and make more sense rapping than this clown does...watch

So my name is money I spell it wit a C
dont bring your girl around here cuz i will pollinate dat ass wit my dick honey geez
I am in the club actin retarded
but i ate so many tacos I up'd and sharted
So i head to the restroom to swap my balls
next thing i know the po po got my hands on the walls
looks like mistaken identity
yo girl didnt mistake me fucking her ass weird like david duchovany

looks that right there is gold, you have Dre make me a beat and say it all hard core and shit=gold records pouring out my microphone

Look what i am trying to say is 50 sucks and Browne wanted me to post tonight and this was the first thing that came to mind...I will be in the kitchen mix'n up a tallboy if you need me

Pretty Much the Best Video on the Internet

The ULTIMATE COMPILATION!!!
by phillyblacklite

I found this at With Leather and though it is long is worth checking out. The guy who made this knows how to create awesome!

Need Your Cell Phone Numbers

I realize this is probably pretty stupid because I dont think many of my friends read this blog. However I had to get a new cell phone and they couldnt transfer the numbers. If you could please post your number on here.

Thanks,

Tasty

Weekend

Here are some thoughts from the weekend...

- I honestly dont know what is more painful having the brewers season be over in the middle of June or watching there so called big game pitcher completely fold the second half including game 4 of the only playoff series I will ever get to see the Brewers in.

- These things go great together: wine, shrimp, scallops, pasta. I have a couple go to dishes but only one includes all of those ingrediants and i have never got anything but compliments when I make it.

- Yes the Badgers lost to tOSU but they certainly dont look like they have "it".

- Camp Randall is a fun place to go to a game for its atmosphere but if you have a fat ass like I do you are much better off watching from the bar.

- Aaron Rodgers will probably have a better statistical year than Brett Favre, but the Packers will be nowhere as good as a team as they were last year. That is not a knock on Rodgers. Favre was just that good last year.

- The Brewers are rumored to make a 150 million dollar offer to CC. I think that is great but I think it will be about 60 million dollars short. The brewers ace next year pitched really well in game 1 of the playoffs.

- Painting your house can make a world of difference. Got the first coat down and man does it make the place look a lot better. Cant wait to get finished.

- After going 2-0 this weekend I am now at 10-5 on the year for all my bets. However I am only up $400. I usually just do $50 a game, but I need to put more down when i am very confident.

Cant wait for this upcoming weekend as I will be turning 26 and celebrating the only way i know how partying like it is my last birthday. Any one that reads this is welcome to join me in celebration as I will be having a tailgate for the Badger vs. PSU game. We plan on getting 4 or 5 parking stalls in the lot across from Meriter. Which is about a 1 1/2 south of Regent on Park Street. For the die hards we will be getting up there around 10 or so and having bloody mary's and bagels, however I would guess most people will come up between 2-3. We will be heading to the Stadium bar for the game.

SFW Hillarity

I thought this was pretty funny.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I Found This Interesting

I got this link sent to me.



I think this is very biased obviously but it is interesting none the less. I personally dont think you can point the finger at any one thing to explain why an economy goes into a recession these things just tend to happen over time. However it is interesting to see how some things intended to help have made the problems a lot worse for everyone. Interested to see if anyone has any comments on this video.