LMF - Oasis

Love them, hate them or just don't give a shit, Oasis has one thing down cold. They are rockstars in every sense of the word. They don't piss and moan about their "art," or being misunderstood. The Gallagher brothers set out to become world famous rockstars - period. That, they accomplished with flying colors. Some might say, "So what, Timmay? I don't care 'bout no rockstars, nohow. That don't confront me none."

To that I say that you have never seen rockstars in action. I love live music as much or more than the next guy. I'm not a celebrity chaser. To me, seeing a local band for the 42nd time is a blast. However, there is something electric about seeing a rockstar that makes it a different experience. For example, U2 is not one of my favorite bands, but seeing them at Camp Randall Stadium back in '97, I have to admit, was a rockstar experience. They are just plain larger than life, and everybody in the place can feel it. It's a persona, an attitude and an aura that emanates and infects the most cynical bystander. It makes the lights look brighter, makes the music sound better than it is, and makes the long hairs on your mama's chest stand on end.

Indisputably, Oasis has it. In spades. They are one of the biggest bands on the British scene of the past 15 years and, like it or not, the music is catchy, edgy, accessible and extremely profitable. There was no bigger band worldwide in the late '90s. When Noel and Liam weren't getting drunk and fighting one another, causing thousands of dollars in damage to a local pub, or declaring themselves the "greatest fookin' rock'n'roll band in the world, idn'it?," they were rocking the stage in front of sell out stadium audiences and driving them into a frenzy by simply staring at them with a "fuck off" look, sneering vocals into the mic and generally looking completely bored with playing their songs.

Younger brother and singer Liam recently told Rolling Stone that rockstars are few and far between these days, and that the kids today "are trying too fucking hard and it comes across really fake." On the other hand, the Gallagher brothers just KNEW they are rockstars, even before the world realized it, and if you don't see it, you're just missing it. Rolling Stone asked Liam what he would be doing if he weren't the singer for Oasis. He said, "Buying a ticket for Oasis." Rolling Stone reminded him that he had previously said he would be God, because that's the next best thing to being in Oasis. He then said being in the Beatles would be better than being God, "When was the last time God made a decent record?" The point is, people actually write down this insane, stupid and egotistical shit he says, print it, buy it and read it because the guy is what? A legendary technical singer? An all-time great songwriter? Not in the least. He's a rockstar. Deal with it.

I have proof the rockstar is dead. I saw perhaps the "biggest" touring band in the world, Coldplay, earlier this summer. They looked and acted like a bunch of douchebags who take too long to order their coffee at Starbucks, holding up the line.

Here's what it looked like to be a rockstar in 1997:

A turn for the douche....

Don't know yet if I love this or hate it, but it seems worth noticing.

More Between 2 Ferns

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

I WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING CLEAR

Ok...so yesterday I flew off the handle and probably sounded like a whiny bitch, I can own that. But I would like to clarify some things. I think 95% of Packer fans are boners, huge throbbing boners with pre-cum running down the side and throbbing, did I mention the throbbing ok anyway. I am not one of those packer fans that blames Thompson for everything and thinks the world is coming to an end now that Brett Fuckface is a Viking now. I am a realist and try to look at the big picture before making judgments. I was a huge Farve fan, not huge fan like I own a jersey or have a lock of his hair in plexi-glass box. I was a huge fan because when he was on the field you knew something magical could happen at any given minute. He did a lot for the Packers, he might of arguably made the Packers relevant again. Cripes he was the starting QB for what 16-17 years, he is the only memories of have of the Pack growing up, that is crazy now that I think of it. So yes I am allowed to feel betrayed and all that jizz. But I took the high road, tried to see the bigger picture. I didnt and still dont give a shit that he retired and than un-retired to play for the Jets. I knew it was all a ploy to eventually play for the Vikings. And still I was ok with it. He wants to keep playing and make some more money, awesome go for it. I dont care, he gave me a lot of great memories he doesnt owe me anything. Hopefully he can come back and officially retire as a Packer and have his number retired. That may be one of the things that upsets me most about the whole deal, is that I wont have any closure like in my eyes he is and always would of been a Packer, he will do his thing with other teams, but want to come back. Have his jersey retired every one is happy. I will shed one single tear, catch it in my beer glass than proceed to get hammered on the memories and mumble to myself "...thats just Farve being Farve..." Now I cant, he is too big of a prick.
A first when he was slotted to go the Queens I was like this is going to make amazing TV, I cant wait for that monday night game against the Pack and Queens. I guarantee every fucking TV in the US will be tuned in for that match up. The world might implode or Jesus may come back to earth just to feel the intensity and awkwardness that will be spewing from the field when the coin is flipped. I might even bust out my VHS and tape this son of a bitch the old fashioned way just because it will be so huge. Like I knew it would probably ruin my dreams ( not real dreams, you fag) of him coming back and everything would be ok. But I was like fuck it. It is what it is we had a good run...But now the reason that I am pissed or should I say uber-annoyed is that, he is such a media suckling self righteous prick, ahhhh I could fucking scream he annoys me to no end. How do people let him get away with this shit. Like you would think everyone on earth would be turning there backs on this doosh fitter. I mean look at Heidie and Spencer everyone hates those blond headed ass dicks. But no it is like everyone just tolerates it. WTF!!!! He is such a child running around trumping everyones big news. Vick signs fuck you Im Brett, Jacko Dies fuck you, Im Brett, GM collapses, fuck you Im Brett. I cant stand it. I wish the NFL would of turned their backs on him like the Packers did. I actually have more respect for Thompson and the Packers organization for what they did than ever before. It is all so clear to me now, they couldnt take his shit anymore. It took big ass balls to do what they did and the fact that Brett cant see that they gave him every opportunity to still play and save face and not look like a raging hemorrhoid.
It is like when your buddy first gets his license and he comes to pick you up and just about when you get your hand on the door handle he speeds up and you miss it. Than you laugh and you catch up to the car, your friend stops, you go for the handle...aw fuck good one, he sped up again, except this time he isnt really stopping. He is just slow rolling, so you run up go for the knob...nope fuck you he takes off again. At first it is funny didnt see that coming, second time, ahhh you crafty devil got me again, third fucking time you are just being a prick and in the words of Patton Oswald, I really want to gouge your eyeballs out with your dick that I cut off, poured lacquer all over it, flattened it, sharpened it and made into a envelope opener.

GOD DAMN I CANT STAND THIS GUY

 I hate you...

Seriously just fucking go away this is so god damn annoying. I hate you more than you could ever possibly imagine. Like you think we (packer fans) are mad but will ultimately turn around and love you once again because well you are Brett Farve. That might of been true, and it was true up until right fucking now! I am over it, I fucking hate you. Die you selfish blow job!

10 Things From Your 20's You Will Regret When You are 40

I came across this list that I found pretty interesting. Here is the list of top 10 things you could do during your 20's that you will regret in your 40's.

10. Body Piercing Plugs
9. Risque Internet Pics
8. Tattoos
7. Choosing your best friends girlfriend over your best friend.
6. Getting married too young
5. Not traveling enough
4. Not finishing school
3. Smoking
2. Bad credit
1. Not spending more time with your parents.

Linky

I would like start off by saying am not too fond of this list. First of all I think this lists covers about 10% of the population. How many people choose there best friends girl over there best friend? Or how many people have body piercings or plugs or have risque internet pictures? I agree that you may regret doing those things, I know I did, but the fact remains you would probably also regret starting a dog fighting ring, or a methanphetmine lab. I also dont think worrying about bad credit is something most 20 years should worry about, not in this day in age. Hell most people are going to die with bad credit. With that being said I think this list brings up an interesting topic. I am going to be 27 years old in a couple of months, and with a child only days away I feel like my time to make really foolish mistakes because I am young are going to have to be put behind me.

Maybe you can say doing something on this list you will regret later in life, but for the most part most of this list is something you will do once and hopefully learn from your mistakes. Experience is the most important thing in life in my opinion. I regret getting my nipple pierced, but I have a memory of the one of the best bachelor parties ever forever. What I am trying to say is experience has to be taken into account. It is unlikely you are going to regret anything that you try once and learn from, even if it has a negative effect on you in the short term. I would also say that seeing a list like this just reiterates the fact that there are so many things I still want to do. Seeing more of the world, getting married, trying my hand at running a business, I could go on and on.

I honestly dont think I have done anything in my 20's that I will regret when I am 40. I would say smoking but I regret that now. I dont need to wait 20 years to feel regretful for putting that cancer in my mouth. I could also say recreational drug use, but to be honest I had a lot of fun experimenting! Traveling more is something I plan on doing but in reality unless you do it right after school, traveling is something that you most likely need to wait until you are 40 just to be able to afford to do(both time and costs). The only regrets I can say I have are things I didnt do. I mean there are a lot of experiences that I wish I would have had but probably will never have. I wish I would have lived out of state or out of the country for a while. I wish I would have worked harder in college and taken a bit more from my degree and time there. My point is very rarely you will regret things you do, for the most part you will only regret the things you dont do.

Ok that was my little seriously post for the week, you wont see another one (unless we have the baby) for a while. Now I want to open the floor for anyone that has one of the regrets on the list, maybe a regret that isnt on the list that should be, or maybe just a post on how you think I am complete loser for thinking anyone cares about what I have to say.

LMF - Les Paul, RIP

Yeah, I took last Friday off and nobody gave a shit about my Drunk Drivers profile the week before. Well, now I'm back up in your ass with a resurrection, and I have a new inspiration due to the death of a HUGE, HUGE, larger than life legend.

Les Paul died yesterday, August 13, 2009, at the age of 94. Lester William Polsfuss was born in Waukesha, Wisconsin (as was my son) way back in 1915. Seriously. 1915. Later, he adopted the stage name Les Paul. The guy started playing music at a very early age, and by the time he was a teenager he had grown bored with the standard acoustic instruments. What does he do? He INVENTS THE SOLID BODY ELECTRIC GUITAR, I shit you not. He spent many years tinkering with different electric guitar designs to improve tone, and ended up creating many of the guitar effects (phasing, delay) used today and invented the multi-track and overdub recording methods that became standard practice. On top of that, the guy is a guitar playing legend and a pop music star in his own right. His wife, Mary Ford, was a singer and the duo sold millions of records, primarily in the 1950s. He had numerous regular radio and television shows in his prime.

The Gibson Les Paul model has a been a standard-bearer in blues and rock, counting among its owners and players legendary rockers such as Slash, Duane Allman, Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton, The Edge, Ace Frehley, Billy Gibbons, Dave Grohl, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Jimmy Page, Keith Richards, Pete Townshend, Eddie Van Halen and Neil Young.

There is likely no other individual who had a more profound effect on guitar rock, jazz or blues, or music recording in general in the 20th Century. Every rock record to come out in the past 60 years has Les Paul's fingerprints on it.

Perhaps what is most amazing is his ridiculous longevity. After being a pop star in the 1950s, he never stopped playing and never stopped having a massive following. Well into his 90s, he continued to perform every Monday night with his trio to packed houses at the Iridium jazz club in New York City. Below is a clip from his 1950s hey-day with Mary Ford and discussing his multi-track recording method, which was novel at the time, and then a clip from him performing his Monday night gig at the age of 91.

The term "legend" is sadly over-used these days. Les Paul is a true legend. Not bad for Waukesha boy.