LMF - Oasis

Love them, hate them or just don't give a shit, Oasis has one thing down cold. They are rockstars in every sense of the word. They don't piss and moan about their "art," or being misunderstood. The Gallagher brothers set out to become world famous rockstars - period. That, they accomplished with flying colors. Some might say, "So what, Timmay? I don't care 'bout no rockstars, nohow. That don't confront me none."

To that I say that you have never seen rockstars in action. I love live music as much or more than the next guy. I'm not a celebrity chaser. To me, seeing a local band for the 42nd time is a blast. However, there is something electric about seeing a rockstar that makes it a different experience. For example, U2 is not one of my favorite bands, but seeing them at Camp Randall Stadium back in '97, I have to admit, was a rockstar experience. They are just plain larger than life, and everybody in the place can feel it. It's a persona, an attitude and an aura that emanates and infects the most cynical bystander. It makes the lights look brighter, makes the music sound better than it is, and makes the long hairs on your mama's chest stand on end.

Indisputably, Oasis has it. In spades. They are one of the biggest bands on the British scene of the past 15 years and, like it or not, the music is catchy, edgy, accessible and extremely profitable. There was no bigger band worldwide in the late '90s. When Noel and Liam weren't getting drunk and fighting one another, causing thousands of dollars in damage to a local pub, or declaring themselves the "greatest fookin' rock'n'roll band in the world, idn'it?," they were rocking the stage in front of sell out stadium audiences and driving them into a frenzy by simply staring at them with a "fuck off" look, sneering vocals into the mic and generally looking completely bored with playing their songs.

Younger brother and singer Liam recently told Rolling Stone that rockstars are few and far between these days, and that the kids today "are trying too fucking hard and it comes across really fake." On the other hand, the Gallagher brothers just KNEW they are rockstars, even before the world realized it, and if you don't see it, you're just missing it. Rolling Stone asked Liam what he would be doing if he weren't the singer for Oasis. He said, "Buying a ticket for Oasis." Rolling Stone reminded him that he had previously said he would be God, because that's the next best thing to being in Oasis. He then said being in the Beatles would be better than being God, "When was the last time God made a decent record?" The point is, people actually write down this insane, stupid and egotistical shit he says, print it, buy it and read it because the guy is what? A legendary technical singer? An all-time great songwriter? Not in the least. He's a rockstar. Deal with it.

I have proof the rockstar is dead. I saw perhaps the "biggest" touring band in the world, Coldplay, earlier this summer. They looked and acted like a bunch of douchebags who take too long to order their coffee at Starbucks, holding up the line.

Here's what it looked like to be a rockstar in 1997: