I have always been a big fan of Tracy Morgan. This was on the Stern Show. I miss the days when Stern was on 100.5 fm in Madison. That always made my day of delivering shingles in the 117 degree weather a little bit more tolerable. There were a few times were I about put the shingle truck in the ditch laughing so hard at the Stern show. Anyway very NSFW unless you work in the porn industry than turn this shit up and you got a little something...right...nope..right.......yeah...nope a little to the...yeah its jizz and its dripping out of your nose.



Thanks for the heads up Carson!

Caption Contest!

I want to try having a weekly or semi weekly caption contest. If people actually participate I may start giving away a monthly prize.

Anyways please post a caption to this picture in the comment section. I will start.

"Mark, just because your mother can do it, doesnt mean you can!"

These Kids Today...

I would have thought this was a lot cooler when I was 16. Yes, I am a grumpy old man, but shit like this makes me glad that we had a boy.

Watch the volume on this, for some reason it is screeching loud.

Dealing with Fear

So if you read this blog than you know that I am going to be a father in just 7 short months. I think growing up children are always something I wanted, but not something I ever thought was going to happen to me until I got married. So an unexpected pregnancy was pretty overwhelming. I have had scares in the past, and your head fills up with a ton of emotions, but for the most part I spent that time trying to quell the fears of my significant other and not worrying too much about myself. Well when scare becomes a reality a whole new bag of worms is opened.

I rarely get scared or afraid of the unknown. If you know me well then you know that I live by a pretty simple motto of don't worry about things that are not in your control. If you do you will never be happy and you will always be worrying. If you know me I don't worry about anything. In my life things tend to work themselves out and I try not to get to worked up. Well last week was completely different. For one of the first times in my life, I was scared shit less. I had my first panic attack ever. I always handle anxiety but when dealing with an unexpected pregnancy everything is different. Here are some of the things I was so scared of.

- What is the right thing to do? Should we keep it knowing that we probably are not in the best situation to bring a child into this world. I have always been taught that you do not raise children unless you are married. That is one value my father actually did harp into me.

- Can I possible have a loved one go through an abortion? Just the name sounds evil. What type of long term effects, will it have, how much regret will we have.

- How in the world am I going to raise a family. I have trouble balancing a check book, I often forget simple tasks when i have more than one to do, I am one of the messiest people around, I routinely sleep through my alarm clock. Am I ready to be a dad?!?

These were the fears I had before Jenny and I had decided to keep this baby. Which I now think was the absolute correct decision. A difficult one yes, but I believe we made the right one. Well that was just the start of things. Now an all new batch of fears have popped into my head.

- Well I am still worried about whether or not I will be a good father. I mean that is the ultimate fear that I have, will I be good at this? I was lucky to have such a wonderful father and I hope to live up to the example he set, but there are no guarantees. Luckily that is a fear I have total control over.

- My second biggest fear is the health of the baby. I worry about this all the time, because it just seems like I am so helpless during this period. I can comfort Jenny and make sure she gets everything she needs but there is nothing I can do for that baby until he comes out, and that is a hard feeling to cope with.

- How are we going to be able to afford a baby. I mean my father, god bless him, wouldn't go a day with out letting me know how expensive children are. Lets just say at a young age he instilled this fear in my heart. I am not like him when it comes to finance and typically I have the nonchalant approach when it comes to money. If i have it spend it, if I don't, don't. I realize that probably wont work as well now that I have to take care of three people instead of one. Still this is something I don't worry as much about as maybe I should.

- What type of effect is this baby going to have on Jenny and I and our relationship. This is something we have tried to talk about a few times, just what this is going to mean for us. We want to do whats right for the child, but we also feel like rushing into a marriage would be a huge mistake. We are concerned that maybe we will not last through this, but we understand that because we know each other so well, we could make it work either way. What I mean by make it work is even if we do not ever get married, we are both comfortable and extremely happy with one another as the parent to our child. I know that is not the traditional way to go about this but I rarely am traditional. I think this is what will work for us, but it is still a fear I have. I mean the first thing most people ask you when you have a child out of wedlock is when are you getting married. I guess my answer would have to be, when I am sure she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I didn't intend this to be such a long rant, but I just wanted to put this out there for people who may go through the same thing Jenny and I did. I think these fears are similar to everyone going through an unexpected pregnancy. Dealing with your fears is step one to this process. It can be a difficult one, and one I did struggle with until I was able to talk to people that had either been through it or could just offer me some different perspective. I rarely solve my problems locked in a room trying to figure them out on my own. Usually I figure out what is right through conversing with those who have experienced more than I have. Whatever you do, don't try and carry the burden of all of these fears by yourself. You are not the only one scared of the unknown, everyone is. It is just a fact of life. You will never be able to control every aspect of your life, chance will always play a part. As soon as you can understand and except that you will be able to stop worrying about things that are not in your control. You can then focus on making the most out of the situation you are put in, something I feel that I do very well. Am I still scared of the weeks, months, years to come, especially when it comes to raising this child? Yes I am. However I am dealing with them while moving on. I have enough things on my plate to worry about that are in my control. Like how I can make Jenny more comfortable. How am I going to quit smoking. How can i turn my house into something suitable for a baby? What can i do to better prepare myself to becoming a dad? These are things that need to be the focus of my time and energy, not things that I have no control over. I guess in other words this is my attempt to Deal With my Fear. It wont be easy, but I knew having children wouldn't be easy.

Breaking News: I Am Going to Be a Father

So last Wednesday my girl friend and I found out she is pregnant. After deliberating we have decided to keep the baby and around August 24th of this year I will become a daddy...

Let me repeat that, in roughly seven months I will be the second person on this blog to have a child, and I have to say I cant wait. I truly feel blessed, and very excited to become a father. It has been a dream of mine, for as long as I can recall. Obviously that dream wasn't to happen so soon and there was a progression I had intended to follow, but we felt we could not pass up a dream just because it was not the ideal time for us. I just want to thank everyone that gave me support last week. Man it was an emotional time for Jenny and I, and I really needed some outside perspective on everything. Timmmay, sent me a great quote that I don't think I will ever forget. It is from a John Lennon song "Beautiful Boy", "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." It really is true, as much as you think you can plan the progression of your life, there are so many unexpected twists and turns, and if you are not ready to deal with what life throws at you then you may miss out on some of the truly special things that life has to offer. I know Jenny and I weren't expecting this but we are going to roll with it and be the best parents we can be.

It is just so crazy how my life went from pretty much worry free to extremely hectic in the matter of days. Last week I was deciding whether or not I was going to re-up my subscription to penthouse, this week we are picking out midwife groups to help deliver the baby. I guess you could say this will be quite a large change in my life. I however typically operate best in these situations and I cant wait for this challenge. Like I said before, becoming a father is a dream of mine, and I cannot wait to get started.

LaJoie rides again...

Sure, it's a rehash / extension of the Everyday Normal Guy joke, but it's still funny stuff.

Fisting is a mans game

I have a Buddy who likes to drink some cocktails and than tell every bartender male or female how bad he will fist them if he doesn't get another drink. Well now I can say I have a buddy and a president who will fist you if they don't get there way.
This chick has to of been dared to say that on national television. I mean fisting the first lady (as sweet as that sounds) doesn't fit into her description of how much they love each other. You know what they say, once you fist a black you'll never go barack. ZING POW BOOM BANG! I am available for weddings, birthdays, jew-mitzfahs. What ever name the date.

Absolutely Sick Throwdown

I found this over at With Leather. This is one of the craziest dunks I have seen in a while. This is from some smaller college, but this guy can no doubt fly.

Humpday: Meghan Allan

Man do I wish I was more like Devin Harris. If you dont know who Devin Harris is well your an idiot and shouldnt read this blog anymore. He is a former Badger basketball star who is now killing it with the Nets. I actually got to meet Devin a couple times and he is really down to earth nice guy. Still that doesnt explain how he pulled this hot piece of arse. Man if only my jumpshot would have come around. Anyways enjoy!

Movie Review: Slumdog Millionaire

I have to be honest what I thought this movie was going to be about and what it actually was about couldnt be further apart. For that I was pleasantly suprised. The story is about a young man from India (Mumbai I believe) and the movie chronicles his struggles growing up in the inner city of mumbai. It also focuses on the relationship between the lead character and his brother. This is one of my favorite themes of the movie, becuase even though brothers love and care for each other they can often be very competitive. This is a major focus of conflict throughout the story. I guess it could also be seen as a love story as well, but to be honest the other themes in this movie were more powerful to me. The entire story is told over his appearance on the Indian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire. I would compare this movie a lot to a Brazilian movie I love called City of God. You really get to see a side of India that I have never seen before and it is very interesting. I know a lot of people get turned off by subtitles but I am telling you many of the best movies i have seen in recent years have subtitles. You wont even notice them after a while. It is refreshing to see an innovative story like this after just watching Pineapple Express. Which could be considered the opposite of a story like this. Anyways the story is very heavy and at some points it kind of glamorizes lifes in the slums and growing up in poverty. It is a heavy movie, but definately worth the watch.

Good Luck to You Mr. President

Sometime around 12 pm central president elect Barack Obama will take office as the President of the United States. I guess I am not as wrapped up in all the hoopla that surrounds the innaguration like many people. Yes this is a historic event, but for some reason excitement escapes me. I guess my hope is this is the first accomplishment of many for the new President and I will temper my excitement for the time being.

Clearly becomming the first african american President is as big of accomplishment as a man can achieve. I know that the dream of becoming President is not a dream that most black youth have, because quite frankly none believe it can be achieved. For that I give I give all the credit in the world to President Obama. There are still people alive in this country that could not attend the same schools, drink from the same fountain, or even vote in this country because the color of there skin. To see Barack Obama become the leader of the most powerful country in the world is something that will be talked about forever.

Yes wee have come a long way, but I believe we have as far to go, and that will always be the case. I know all the talk is about change for this country. We need to change the way we think, we need to change the way we live our lives, we need to change the way we take care of this planet. I dont think that is neccasarily the case. I think the world is changing whether we like it or not. Global markets and economies are constantly changing. We are running out of a finite energy supply. The baby-boomers are getting older and are soon going to need our help. Global warming is something that needs to be understood in hopes that we can make this place a better place for our children. We have fallen behind the rest of the world with regards to education and that is the foundation of any great society. We cannot get by just trying to keep things status quo, and I think that was echoed by the American population just months ago. Is Barack the leader that can further us along this evolution? That remains to be seen. He certainly has his challenges in front of him and I am not sure that any man is fully up to the task.

Whether or not Barack Obama is a success President probably will not be known for at least 100 years, and the same can be said for the man whom he takes the presidency from. However today President Obama should be seen as a success, for what can be achieved through a dream. He is proof that in this country a man or woman no matter what race they are, no matter what upbringing they have to endure, anything can be obtained. I truly believe that and I hope the rest of America, and the rest of the world watching sees that as well.

Good Luck President Obama!

I love it

Joaquin Pheonix is my new hero. He has come out and said he is retiring from acting and becoming a rapper. Thats right folks a rapper. I am really hoping this is some kind of joke and every rapper that has ever tried to be a real actor feels embarrassed, even if its for like 2 seconds it would be worth it. He has been doing little interviews for his rapping debut and in every one he is super fucked up on something he can barely speak.
In the second video he falls of the stage, so he could either be the greatest actor alive or he is really practicing for his greatest performace of all time in a little movie I like to call The Traveling Sister Hood of the Over Dosing Pants.

This is JP in Vegas to perform a couple songs for his upcoming album over the weekend. A couple of head bangers in there for sure.

Do Not Open This Link At Work

I found this on a message board I frequent and although I am probably going to hell because of it, I also could not stop laughing. Girls you may want to forget that you are even reading this and guys you must click on this link, just do it in the privacy of your own home. NSFW LINK

Weekend Recap

Well this weekend had its shares of ups and downs. Friday night I was exhausted and didnt do a thing. I ended up watching a bunch of the Planet Earth series and going to bed by 12. Saturday I got up and visited my fellow blogger TK and his family. It was a really nice day spent watching the baby. Timmay, I think I could do that all day, what a great kid. I dont think he cried once all day. Just a big smile on his face. Cant wait to visit again. Saturday I met up with my college roommates for a night out in Pewaukee, and lets just say all hell broke out. We went to a bar called Boomers at about 1030 and basically took over the dance floor and baseement bar. Shots were flying, clothes were flying, basically it looked like we hadnt partied in years. The night was filled with laughs until we left. One of my good friends got picked up on the mile drive from the bar home and was given a DUI. A great night turned to a terrible one. It is crazy because I wouldnt have thought twice about driving that night considering that we could have walked had it not been 20 below. Just a shitty way to end the evening. Though I dont remember it because I went from happy drunk guy, to comatose in about 2 seconds. Mark has a great video of me passed out on the shitter that i may post later in the week. Apparently i went to take a dump and an hour later they came in and there I was passed out bear assed on the toilet. Thank god they woke me up because my dump turned into puking at least I think thats what was on my shirt when I awoke. Thats when I learned about the DUI. Wow I cannot party like I used to. However watching that video made everything worth it as we all shared a laugh. Sunday my buddy Rum came over and watched Pineapple Express. It had a lot of funny parts but like any Apatow film i have seen the laughs are good but the story is pretty awful. You can obvious tell that they basically name the actors and then right a handful of jokes without concentrating on developing a story. In any right it is a funny stoner movie if that is your thing, otherwise I doubt you will have much interest.

Is This Jessica?

Somebody help me out and tell me if this picture posted on WWTD are real or not. I dont know if they are but dont tell my penis one way or the other because I have already cracked it three times to this pic and he thinks its real.

Ummm, Yeah I Am Going to Need that Kidney Back

This story is too funny apparently this guy gave his wife one of his kidney and now she wants a divorce and well he wants his kidney back. I seriously doubt they will allow him to try and get his kidney back or ask for any money back for the kidney however this is hilarious. Well not really I guess if you consider she will die if she had to give up the kidney. I am going to side with homeboy on this one, you give your wife a kidney and that means she has to put up with your shit forever. I dont care if your sex life has gone stale, or just dont feel that spark anymore. If you are living only because this guy gave up a kidney for you, then you dont get to complain about a shitty marriage. Deal with it.

Link

Hells Bells!

The Brewers made there biggest splash of the off season so far by signing hall of fame closer Trevor Hoffman to a one year 6 million dollar deal. You make think this is a lot like the deal they gave to Gagne last year except one huge difference Hoffman can still pitch. Well Gagne actually pitched quite well down the stretch and wouldnt mind him back on a cheap deal, but he also sucked for a long time last year. Hoffman is I believe 39 years old so his best days are behind him but he saved nearly half of his teams games last year. He is a change up specialist that doesn't need velocity to suceed so the age shouldnt be that big of a deal. My only concern is that he doesnt strike a lot of guys out, which can be bad in a Milwaukee, however he is murder on righties and should be a nice one two punch at the back of the bullpen with Villy. Good luck Trevor and cant wait for Hells Bells to be blasting through the PA system at Miller Park.

It also appears that offering Sheets arby was a good move. The 1st round draft pick compensation for teams trying to sign sheets is scaring a lot of them away, well that coupled with his injured past. However his numbers are better than AJ Burnett and Burnett got 80 million over 6 years. If the Brewers could bring back Sheets on a one year 12 million dollar deal it very well could be the steal of the off season.

Sheets, Gallardo, Parra, Bush, Suppan is rotation that should finish in the top half of the NL in ERA. There bullpen still has some question marks but at least they have a plenty of options to throw out there. Off the top of my head I count Riske, Dillard, Villy, McClung, Stetter, Coffey, and Jorge Julio. That doesnt even take into acount some up and coming bullpen arms like Luis Pena and Omar Aguilar some quiet pickups in R.J. Swindle and Eduardo Morlan. The Brewers have pleny of options lets hope they can catch lighting in a bottle. Doug Melvin often builds his bullpen like this and often he has success. Remember nobody wanted Solomon Torres last year. He also found Dan Kolb and Derrick Turnbow off the scrap heap and both enjoyed all star years in Milwaukee.

I Have Been Brodomized!

In case you didnt catch it last night, the funniest show I have ever seen can be found here. This is the fucking gayest shit I have ever seen, it was so fucking gay that the gay guy on the show couldnt even fucking stand it. I was almost in tears watching this. I am not sure who MTV is targeting with this show besides the obvious my buddy Noel, I cant see anyone watching this show for real. Even though I felt incredibly queeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer, it is definately worth the watch for the comedic value. I can never watch another MTV show again.

Who is This Guy?

I definately didnt see this coming but Barack Obama is proving to be even more moderate then Senator McClain. Take a look at Barack's New Deal Policy here. Personally I understand the concept that tax cuts, can strengthen the middle class which ultimately should lead to jobs in the private sector, however I also feel like we have tried this economic policy for the last 8 years, and it hasnt gotten us very far. It is kind of funny because I am pretty conservative, but for once I am not sure cutting taxes is the answer. I would love to here some thoughts from our liberal readers.

Fat Monday...

Six weeks gone, nine more weeks to go, and I weighed in at 227.0 this morning. So, I'm down about 7.5 pounds in six weeks, but I need to lose another 16 pounds in the next 9 weeks. A long way to go, but at least I succeeded in my initial gameplan of getting through the Thanksgiving - Christmas - New Year's holiday triangle of obesity without dropping out of contention.

Now that the easy pounds - the holy-shit-how-did-you-add-that-extra-dime pounds - are off, the hard work begins. I'm really going to have to get working out and sticking to my diet 6+ days per week. I feel like I can throw the diet out the window for one meal per week and eat whatever I want and have a few drinks, and see how it goes. If the progress isn't there, I'll have to go 100% compliance, bootcamp style.

I have settled on a workout plan, after months of sitting on my ass and doing passive research. It will be no-nonsense strength training circuits of big movements (squats, deads, cleans, presses, lunges) a couple days per week and then sprint interval workouts 2 or 3 days per week, mixing it up between jumping rope for speed, exercise bike sprints, treadmill sprints, ski machine sprints, etc. I've read about a number of studies showing that 20 minute sprint interval workouts are twice as effective for weight loss as 60 minute steady cardio workouts like jogging or cycling at a moderate pace. Less time, more weight loss, sounds good. I have much more fat than time.

I'm not fat because of a lack of information or knowledge. It's also not for a lack of opportunity. I have a fitness center membership with a club that has a location 1 mile from office and another 3 miles from my home. I have a bench, dumbbells, jump-rope, Nordic Track and a treadmill in my fucking basement. This is nothing more than a classic struggle between righteousness and the deadly sins of gluttony and sloth. Stay tuned.

P.S. No, that is not a picture of me. However, I'd hate to be in a lineup with that guy.

Finally, The Holidays Are Over...

Well it is back to the day to day grind and to tell you the truth i am glad. As much as I like having a shit load of people at my house all the time, staying up to the we hours gaming, and drinking seeemingly every day, I am glad to have some normalcy back. We are starting a New Year at Lake City, and it good be a very fine year. Our sales are already looking very promising for the New Year, so I will be switching back into a Project Management role in effort to make this a great year, despite the lack of building do to the economy. In short, I am very opportunistic at the possibilities for LCG this year.

In a more personal note, my father and I have started making plans to re finish my basement. If you recall I was hit hard early in the summer with flooding and I basically had to demo my basement in the cleanup effort. It will be very nice to get that finished off and move back down there. The days of everyone at my place sharing the same rest room needs to be over. That toilet cant take much more punishment. Once I am finished the work on my place will nearly be finish. I still have a few cosmetic elemants to take care of in the spring like landscaping, but after nearly 2 years the work is wrapping up and I can figure out what my new project is going to be.

So that is a look ahead to 09 and I am excited. But the holidays were great, spending time with friends and family is my favorite thing to do I want to look back at some of the highlights of the last two weeks.

- "Fatty the Greek" The holidays started with me hitting like mad on any bet I made during the bowl season. This weekend cooled me off quite a bit, but it still looks like a very successful gambling season. I say it was a success because I was able to play the whole bowl season for free, and actually made a few hundred dollars, that can go towards new carpet in the basement.

- Damn I am spoiled. I must have been a good boy this year because I sure was spoiled. Gift highlights include a new watch (thanks babe I love it) a pizza oven, the ever needed cash, and tickets to seinfeld see below.

- What is the deal with... On friday my brother and I took our significant others to see Jerry Seinfeld perform at the overture. It was wonderful. Great comeback Jerry, Bee Movie blows and I havent seen it. My mom is the best gift giver in the world and again she did not dissappoint.

- Renter Appreciation Day! As I mentioned above I was doing well with my gambling this year and on Saturday we celebrated that. Me and my roomies celebrated at the B.A. on saturday the only way we know how. By running up a large tab, and throwing money away at stupid trivia games, and watching the Cardinals and Falcons go over pissing us all off. However it was a great day, and we all got bombed before dinner.

- Merry F'ing Christmas! I think I had a total of four christmas' this year and that is about all i could handle, but the food and company was great as usual. I usually am the biggest scrooge around the holidays but this year is different and the only reason i can attribute to that, is the fact that I had someone special to share everything with. I know what a fag.

- NYE in Milwaukee. What a great night, the place we went to was perfect. We celebrated with about 50 of our friends in a bar all to ourselves. Curt and Davey big props for putting it together. My only wish is that the stalls in the bathroom didnt go up to the ceiling.

I think that is about it for my highlights this holiday season. Hope it was good for you. I also plan on focusing more on the blog in 09 as I tailed off late in the year due to how busy I was around here. I know have a computer at home so I cant use that as an excuse any longer.