C-Weed's Weekend Recap

I figure why not, people know there are more than just one author of this blog and after reading Big Tasty's recap. I am thinking people are going "huh, I wonder how C-Weed's weekend was?" so here we go...
Friday night my dad made me drink a lot of vodka with him. Woke up at about 530am on Saturday and went bow hunting with my buddy Senior B, he picked me up, wow what a friend! Perfect morning, saw 4 small does and a nubber chasing and grunting after the first 2 I saw, that was funny. My buddy Serb didn’t see any. Highlight of the afternoon was going to hookers for lunch (biggest burger of my life) and drinking a few mason jar wicky sows. Big Tasty's party was good got there bout 5 Palmer and I finished off a 18pk started drinking vodka red bull dubbles went to the bars at 1030 ( I think) and Callie had to take me home at 1145pm. They had a DJ at prairie, she told me I had a dance off with a black guy but when it was my time to save the last dance and rip this brotha a new one I just did the running man and spilled my beer all over the dance floor and the black guy wouldn't dance anymore. So wait I guess I won then, I smoked dat foool. Then I was dancing with some chick and I guess some old dude came up to me and started talking shit to me so I called him a fucking dick and walked away I guess it was his wife and I was sexy dancing her a lil too hard. I went back to Callie and she asked me why that guy was yelling at me? I told her he said I wasn’t tall enough to be on the dance floor so I called him a fucking dick and left, eventually I told her the real story. I don’t remember any of this. I only remember flashes from the night like blurry clown faces and sea kings shaking tridents at my drunkin defeat. To cap the night off when I got home I slipped in to something a little more comfortable, my bare skin. Ate half a cheesecake that my parents neighbor made special for my dad and passed out on the couch. Happy birthday Matt. Sunday morning I yelled at my mom because she asked me if my shirt was new. She always does this and its annoying. I really didn't yell at her but I expressed my annoyance. My dad laughed. Then I drove home probably shouldn't of drove home seeing as how I was still drunk from the night before, and it was like 1230pm. But I did what anyone who shouldn't be behind the wheel and went straight to taco bell and got a few things to nibble on the way home. Got home and slept on the couch till Dexter came on Showtime. So thats it, that was my weekend, you are all jealous aren't you. My weekends are so glamorous and hollywood-esq. I know, I don't know how I do it weekend week out. But if Brittany can do it then any hobo can. oh and I took like thirteen shits through out all of it.