"Dude, She Fucking Ate It"

I have gone back and forth as to whether or not I should post this story, but the blog has been kind of blah lately and I think this will spice it up a bit. I will not give any real names in this story except me and my friend Jake, as I dont think any names would like to get released.

Late in the summer or actually early last fall, about four of my girl friends, my roommate Jake and I went up to the Dells for a weekend. My friend, who we will call DDebbie, sister had a place on the Wisconsin river that she let us stay in. This could not be considered a cabin, as it is nice than most peoples homes, and it was definately to nice for any of us to stay in. Well we got up there about 8 on Friday and we made ourselves at home. I kind of figured since there was only 6 of us that it would be a pretty chill weekend, so I did us a favor and rolled a few joints for when we got up there. I had just learned how to roll a joint earlier that week so I was pretty much showing off my skills at every chance I could get. We got unpacked passed a couple joints around and proceeded to make some drinks. Now Jake and I didnt really no what to expect going on a trip with a bunch of girls. However do to some things that happened the prior weekend we were had our fingers crossed that some crazy shit was about to go down.

Let me take you back to the weekend prior. It was a lame weekend in Marshall so I decided to have a few peeps over to party. Well for the first time I think ever there were more girls than guys at our party. As the night started winding down and we couldnt do any more tequila shots, somebody had the great idea to play spin the bottle. Now I hadnt played this game for about 10 years, but it sounded like one hell of an idea. The same people that were going on the trip were the same people that were going to play the game. The only downside to this game was if Jake or I landed on each other we had to kiss as the girls had to kiss if the landed on eachother. At this point I had drank enough that I probably would of fucked Jake, if I thought I had a chance at seeing to chicks do the same, so having to kiss was no big deal to me. Plus we were out numbered so we didnt think that would come up. Well the game played for a while and it was a great time, lips and tongues were all over the place and I thought for sure a big time orgy was about to ensue. Well it didnt happen but it did lay the ground work for what seemed to be a great chance to get crazy in the dells.

Ok back to the weekend at hand. Jake and I brought up a big bottle a whisky and got to it right away. I can drink whisky by itself all night. I can smoke weed by itself all night. However when I mix the two all bets are off. Well the girls had stopped off and picked Jenga or the cheap knock off jumble tower. Anyways they were labeling all the pieces while Jake and I were taking in the beautiful place and drinking whisky like water. We didnt know what was going on the blocks but from all the giggling we Jake and I figured we were going to be used as some sort of sex slave for the whole weekend, and we were fo sho down with that. Well it wasnt quite that good, but the game was really fun. There was a lot of make out with her or do some stupid dare. DDebbie actually dared me to go down on her, but she rescinded once I said thats cool, but I am watching right where you place that block, and I will be pulling it if this tower gets three levels higher. Needless to say she changed her dare. The night ended with everyone getting super fucked up Jake shacking up, and me smoking another J to put me out for the count.

The next day we woke up and breakfast was being made, man it is nice going on trips with girls. I mixed a bloody mary and decided to get right back on it. We were lazy until about 1 oclock and then Jake and I decided we were going to try and find the Badger game in town somewhere. So we let the ladies do god knows what and we headed into town. There was some sort of crazy festival going on so every fucking bar was packed. It was awesome but nobody had the big ten network so we couldnt watch the games. We decided to get drunk instead. We watched about a game and half of football each put down 6-7 beers and then we decided we should get back to our car, cuz we were parked in a one hour spot. Got back to the car luckily with no ticket, but we were stuck in a damn traffic jam in the middle of the Dells. It literally took us 45 minutes and the whole entire Ghetto D cd to go two miles. I was angry as fuck, cuz my buzz was wearin off and I had to take a piss in a bad way. Well we stopped and picked up some more papers and I got a bottle of Cris (Asti) which i thought was going to make the evening extra special. The plan was we were going to eat and then all come back into town and party in the dells for the evening. Well we got back and Jake and I watched some more football and I rolled myself another joint. I was getting hungry as fuck so we fired up the grill. I think the girls must of thought there was going to be more people coming cuz they got so damn much food. We ate like pigs and it wasnt long before people didnt really want to go out. No problem we will just get super fucked up stay in and work on that orgy i had been dreamin about for so long.

Well we laid low for a while let the food settle and we all got ready. We decided that we would each right down a drinking game that we wanted to play and put it into a hat. To nobody's suprise there was only a couple games in the hat. Half the people put spin the bottle two others put seven minutes in heaven (a game I had never heard of but was pretty pumped to play) and I of course just put "a little game my dad taught me" as the game I wanted to play. That probably means little but for those have gotten really drunk with me before you know all about this game. Anyways we started playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. For those who dont know it is a game that all you do is spin a bottle who ever you land on you have to go in a room for 7 minutes and anything goes. Well Jake gets the first spin that do good cocksucker, and I think he got DDebbie. He never told me what went down, but I can only imagine what I would have been doing. Next the girl goes and, suprise, it lands on Jake. So this fucker is up to 14 minutes in heaven, and I am down one bottle of bubble. So another girl goes and gets Jake again!!! I couldnt fucking believe it. All I could do was keep drinking as I cannot hate on my best friend. So it is just about my turn, when all of sudden new game. Fuck! Just my luck. Anyways we played some standard drinking games for a while presidents, fuck the dealer, connections, most of these game are meant to be played with beer, I however was using whisky and getting very very drunk. The girls were also getting drunk which was a very good thing. Somebody came up with the idea of playing truth or dare. Now these girls were pretty horned up on the weekend, and for some reason they really wanted to see Jake and I's manhood. I cannot speak for Jake, but I dont have the type of cock that you whip out. For one I am huge so unless I am hung like the late great John Holmes I am not impressing. Secondly I am not hung like the late great John Holmes so it is like a double negative, which in this case doesnt make a positive. The problem is when I drink to much it is inevitable coming out so the ladies, didnt need to dare, they needed to keep feeding me booze.

The first round of the game was mainly just truths. Not very fun with me cuz everyone knows just about everything about me. Still I think there was something about the round of applause I got in college that suprised a few. Anyways i wasnt about to let this truth shit go on. For one I dont care about what happened, I care about what is about to happen. Still it wasnt my turn, I go to bathroom and when I come back Jake has his cock hanging over the balcony of the loft and I know shit is about to get heated. I then get dared to lick some frosting of the chest of DDebbie. Now I picked the name DDebbie for a reason, so my eyes light up like a fucking kid in a candy store. I dont know if you know this but I love sucking on some breasts, I look at is as a dying art. I want to pay attention to detail and put these gigantic lips to good use. Next I was dared to do a what is known as the Johnny Drama. Basically I had to go outside and stand on this bench, drop trow and do the "Victory". I was wasted at this point so I was like fuck it and did it. Well it kind of tamed down a bit before i somebody gave me the dare of the night. Another girl that was there, who has a bit of a wild side, we will call her Thirsty, dared me to jack-off into a cup. Now I was wasted but I wasnt about to Jack off into a cup. So I tried to play it off and I said, "the only way I jack off into a cup, is if one of you drinks it". Now I thought for sure this would turn her off, but it did not. She was pretty confident that I had too much whisky in me to get the job done, but at this point I would have slit open a testicle squeezed my boys out just to see her drink it from a cup.

I headed down to the basement bathroom right next to the room I was staying with this little plastic cup. The bathroom had this fricken 4' x 8' mirror that basically covered the wall. So here I stand, wasted, looking at myself in the mirror with the sounds of giggling being overheard from the girls and Jake upstairs. Now guys I dont know if any of you have ever tried to beat when you have been drinking whisky for the good part of 48 hours but let me tell you it is no easy task. I drop my pants and boxers and look at the limpest noodle I have ever seen. I stare at for a minute perplexed as to how the fuck I am going to do this, and then i bite my lip and get to work. Now this is not something I am proud of, I just figure I will probably only get to see a girl drink my spunk from a cup once in my life, and that by itself makes it worth it. I am giving myself one hell of an indian burn for what seems to be ten minutes, I am sweating like I am in the last leg of the mile, and still I am limp as can be. Then I dont know what it is but the good lord gave me a 30 second window to get his done. I have never squeezed myself harder, and before you know it I dropped my pocket into this cup. Now I wanted her to know that I meant business so I left one of the three ropes on the lid of cup that basically says "take that". I set the cup on the sink sat down on the toilet and caught my wind. I was covered in sweat with a smile that was ear to ear. I dont know if I was proud of what I did that drunk, or if I was excited to what I was about to see. As I was walking up, I could hear the girls saying there is no way he is going to do it. Then I here Jake say, "you guys dont know Browne very well". Well Jake you could not have been more right. I took there lack of confidence in me as a fucking challenge, and if you are going to challenge me in a drunk beat off competition be ready to drink the whole thing. I get upstairs and hand thirsty the cup. She doesnt believe I have done it until she sees that third rope hanging from the top. Just to be sure she gives a little taste. I dont know why she did that, as to me you would handle that like some fear factor shit, cover your nose and go bottoms. Once she confirmed my seed was at the bottom of the cup I thought for sure she would back out and I could just rip on her for the end of my life. However, she didnt even think about backing out she looked at the bottom and PUT IT DOWN. I look over at Jake and all I can utter is, "dude, she fucking ate it". Now most people would think that my respect for this girl would have disapeared after this. No fucking way, I have much love for thirsty after this. I dont know one other girl that would have went through with it. She has told me every time we talk about it that she thought there was no way I would be able to do it and thats why she agreed. When I did she just felt like she had to hold up her end. I give her mad props and I will never forget that moment forever.

The night ended shortly after as we all laughed ourselves sober and tired. I woke up and there wasnt much talk of the incident and there was a lot of cleaning to do so Jake and I decided to bail. As soon as Jake and I got in the car we basically replayed the moment over and over until we got back home, cuz man that was some funny shit. I will never forget that weekend, and hopefully neither will you.