Thursday, September 10, 2009

Hipster Rant




Well it has been a long time since I have gone on a rant, but a recent email with a recent picture of one of the douchiest people in America has irked me something fierce. Not to mention living close to Madison and having the pleasure of running into hipsters at every freaking turn. Whether it is at the mall, movie theatre, bar, dentist, hell even the fucking badger game last weekend I saw plenty. I am off course talking about hipsters. You don't know who I am talking about? The guys and gals, that are forefront of cool. That dress in the finest fashion, the skinnier the jeans the better. They listen to the best music, to bad I don't know what that is because it is to underground. They watch the most artistic film, that no simple minded fool could possible understand. What is there take on politics? Well of course they are as liberal as it comes yet they believe that government has no right to control them. As much as they make it seem like they want to be different, they are scared as hell to actually be unique, and they tend to stick together (the one positive about Hipsters) though it can be a huge negative when the invade a city like Madison. These fucks tend to come from a privileged background, feel like they have the world all figured out, can be found at any coffee shop any day of the week. I don't go to Starbucks, but the fuckers can be seen just by driving around. What are they doing there with that Che Guevara book in there sitting on the table, with there iMacs open and the ear buds in. Are the writing about there interesting lives, all the hard ships they have had to endure?

I just don't understand the appeal to this lifestyle. What I really don't understand is the appeal that non hipster females have to these douche bags. I understand they are so much more sensitive to the needs of the fairer sex, but ladies do you really want to be walking around with Mr. fucking twilight on your arm? Is this the man you want raising your children? I guess I am a little old school on what a man should look like and behave. I will admit to liking underground music, and indie films, but not because it is the "in" thing to do, but because I enjoy it. Fuck I can even get over the way they dress, but I will never understand what makes it so fashionable. In all honesty I will never understand what makes a hipster tick. Maybe I am just not cool enough, but I think it is because I am not a GIGANTIC FUCKING DOUCHEBAG, THAT SUCKS COCK BY CHOICE...I am sorry if I offended anyone out there, I just needed to blow a little steam. If you agree with me, then by all means chime in. If you disagree with me, then by all means chime in, but I warn you in advance, I wont take it easy on hipster lovers that may read this post and again suck cock by choice.

7 comments:

Timmay said...

I don't know, dude. I'm old enough to remember when it became fairly cool to go to resale shops and dig up old polyester shirts, sports/bowling shirts, grandpa hats, old mesh back caps, etc., for 25 cents a pop.

Somewhere along the line, they starting making brand new versions of this shit and selling them for hundreds of dollars and all the douchebags jumped on board. Now you can buy a Clash concert t-shirt that was made last week but looks older than Joe Strummer. Where's the soul in any of this?

Fuck 'em.

Unknown said...

haha I am happy i sent you that email this morning. i also think you are over generalizing what a hipster is. are they not just like any other twenty something from a different generation that happens to like a different fashion? how do you know the only reason they like indie films is bc they think it makes them cooler? i wear skinny jeans, i like underground shit and i love coffee shops. oh man i think im a hipster.. i am never going to hear the end of this :)
my punctuation is terrible..im typing from my phone deal with it.

Big Tasty said...

Tk,

Spot on. The idea of a hipster definately is not a new idea, there has always been a group that tried to buck the trend of society. Back in the 60's there were plenty of those types, and they actually did believe in something and had purpose behind there actions. They didnt feel the need to dress that way to be cool, or listen to the music they did to feel cool, same in the 70's with the punk movement. I dont have a problem with that at all. However at somepoint it changed from a culture that was cool because they were different to a culture who thinks they are cool because they try and act different. Even though underneath those skinny jeans and clash t-shirt is a spoiled kid from the suburbs with a high priced education, high priced wardrobe, and a huge fucking ego. Not capable of having an original thought or idea.

Shana I disagree with you, they are different in the sense that the 20 somethings of the sixties, seventies, eighties, and even the nineties that dressed different, didnt do it because they wanted to be cool. They were rebelling against something and actually believed in something. Today's hipsters are rebelling from a life that was handed to them, and think they are better because they are different. At least that is the feeling I get from them. Of course I am stereotyping, not everyone falls in this category, obviously. However it is my blog and I am allowed to lump every douche bag I see into the same category, including yourself.

Chuck Dickens said...

Rant from a safe distance good sir! Because the dark carnival that is hipsters only gets worse the closer you look. If you do inquire further, if you choose to stare into the abyss (the hipstyss), I recommend you leave a trail. So when you do go insane, so you can find your way back to yourself.

Take it from someone forced into a world of hipster torments, Portland OR.

Hipsters believe they are living a lifestyle that is better than yours. At the same time the actual quality is extremely low. They tend to walk or bike everywhere. The bikes tend to be 'fixed gear' or 'fixies' meaning to normal people as 'broken'. They tend to be service workers, and refer to working in restaurants as "in the industry". But it's not cool like the "music industry" or the "porn industry" it's being a fucking waiter. Hipsters wear dirty clothes that don't fit and are uncomfortable. Hipsters don't like to make a lot of noise and recoil at people having a fun time and carrying on. They will express this in a passive aggressive format you will not pick up on.

Why live like this? Don't even ask the question. Because to get the answer, you'd lose your soul and probably those around you too.

Here in Portland, I am like Jane Goodall with the apes. I just observe with curiosity. If I didn't I'd be running them down with my car.

Big Tasty said...

Chuck,

Great post and I feel for you. Portland probably puts Madison to shame in terms of the amount of hipsters, and I do not even really hang out in Madison. Well if you happen to swerve and take out a clan of em, I will be standing in your corner.

The Jane Goodall comment was fucking priceless!

Anonymous said...

I LIKE HIPSTERS!

Unknown said...

The wost part is i like how hipsters dress...i mean converse (black and white only) vans(only in black) flannel(dark colors) and fedoras (well only in jet blackbecause i like the mob) ok never mind what i wear is like spitting on hipster culture i will keep up the good fight my bretherin who wish they could wear anything without being associated with these douches!!!