Friday, October 19, 2007
Friday Rant: Gayest Post Ever
I dont know if it is the weather or what, but I awoke and immediately started feeling shitty. Not in the sick way, just feeling sorry for myself, I have one of these days every couple or months or so where I just let my insecurities run wild for a day, and I usually like to suppress any emotional problem the old fashion way with a bottle of whisky, but today I just thought I would vent in my gournal. Basically I have this fear of not being liked, I try my hardest to be liked by as many people as possible, and though I do my share of fucking around and pissing people off, I think most people would agree I try to make sure people like me. I have a lot of friends, a lot of good friends, more than the average person even. Still I have days where I look at myself and wonder why the fuck would anyone ever be friends with me, what do I have to offer, or what makes me special. On these days my confidence is non existent, and I pout like a baby, pondering so many things like "what is there to like", "do my friends really care about me", "do I really care about them, or do I just surround myself with fun loving people so I dont have days like this". Anyways most of the time all I am looking for is somebody to tell me that I matter, and I am important to them. However, today I finally realized how pathetic that type of behavior is. Before you think of this as a cry for help, please realize that I am disgusted by my inability to feel worthy of friendship or love. Its like dude cry me a fucking river, so you thing you arent loved, how about dealing with some real problems and quit being such a fucking pussy. I just dont understand why the human pyche works like this. I mean why do I need to feel important, or why do I need to feel like I am important in other peoples lives? Cant just making yourself be a better person be good enough. I dont want to sound like i have a million problems because I know i am one lucky son of a bitch that worries less than most, but what the fuck why do somedays I feel like such a pussy! I mean I know I have close friends that would be there for me through thick and thin, that love me for who I am, and I do not need to do anything for there affection. Still I always wonder what is it in a person that makes them do things just for the purpose of being liked, is being like essential to survival? Most doubtedly no! Fuck, I look at my old man and he could give to shits about being liked by anyone. I guess what I am trying to say, is feeling like shit today a product of me just having a low self esteem or maybe just a bad morning, or is there something in human nature that says a human must feel loved and must feel like he is important to everyone else he associates with? Maybe I didnt breast feed long enough. Maybe my mom just teased me with the nipple and gave me the bottle, what ever it is it has caused me to write the gayest blog post of all time. I guess it is time for me to take some of my own advice for once, and stop writing these posts about "the day i realized nobody liked me" boo fucking hoo deal with it!
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6 comments:
I dont know whether I should...
a. call 911.
b. kick you in your GIANT bleeding vagina
c. give you a hug
d. poke you in the eyes before you can get the side hand block
e. tell you I love you
f. rape you with a broom stick while I tell you how appreciative I am of your friendship and how much it means to me to be your family.
g. Buy you a puppy
h. remove myself from this blog that used to be filled masculinity and man humor, Now its filled with tears and Russian roulette.
i. buy you a hooker
Oh and thank you for the vivid image of my aunt teasing you with her nipple, god damn it browne now fucking day is ruined!
Touche! Like I said gayest post ever.
I think it's a little too harsh to call your post the "gayest" - meaning that it is too harsh toward gay people. I know a few gay guys and none of them have ever rambled off any rant anywhere near as faggoty as your post.
A couple of generic thoughts that apply to you, me and everybody else.
1. All of those things, big and little, that you think completely suck about yourself and make you a raging douchebag? Guess what? You're exactly right.
2. We're all in the same boat with that, but we all still have friends anyway. They put up with us, we put up with them, and at the end of the day, somebody stretches their scrotum across somebody's drunken, passed out forehead and somebody else photographs it to post it on the internet, but somehow, we're still better off being an imperfect, pain-in-the-ass friend to our imperfect, pain-in-the-ass friends.
3. Deal with it.
4. I have to second the objection to imagery of an aunt's nipple. Granted, unlike C-Weed, I'm only related to the lady by her marriage to my blood uncle, but she's family, bro. I've known her as family since you were minus 5 years old. I mean, your cousin Teather is adopted, but she's fuckin' family, dude. We're not going to chat about whether she goes mohawk or hardwood floors. It just ain't right.
My initial thought is to not post anything like this again, but after reading the hilarious responses, expect a lot more heart felt sentiment from tasty from hear on out. Rippin me a new one gentleman, cant say i dont deserve, I wanted to kick my own ass after writing it.
Wow. You ARE a total homo Browne.
If you have the time to think about all of that, on a semi-regular basis nonetheless, and also time to write about it, then you need to get a hobby/fucking SOMETHING to occupy your time & thoughts. There is nothing wrong with you, and least nothing that isn't wrong with the rest of us....So dry up those man-tears and cheer up! Loser. :)
being a 17 year old teen who have moved around alot, and i just moved again senior year, i feel the same. there's always that "what if they dont like me" and "i should always be nice" thiing in my head. my friend, whos not my friend anymore tells me "its because i'm too nice" but i believe we're artists. because artistic people are really open-minded, and sometimes being so, u open urself up to the hurt/pain. plus, i hate people who think so highly of themselves for nothing u know? it's like what are u good for other than what u think ur good for. my friends tell me i shouldnt think about other ppl and their negativity especially. and thats because the world is very ugly nowadays, its not easy. it's hard finding good people who really care and are not just using u for fun. but after reading ur blog, u tend to lean toward the fact that this subject is dumb to be touched upon, it's pitiful. i wrote my own little rant on facebook, and the notes i got back were 'suck it up ur mom sucks dont listen to her. prove her wrong' i dont want to be an angry person and think that this is how it should be. it shouldnt. but ya, i mean basically i agree wih meanbeaver. surround urself with happy people and involve urself in activities so u have happy times and things to look forward too. i'm only 17, not legal, cant drive and my parents are not smart when it comes to raising a kid so.
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