Dear Santa

Well I usually dont start talking about what I want for xmas until at least thanksgiving but my girl friend has been bugging me about it. I am about as spoiled as a person can get and I usually get whatever I want. Ask C$$$ about the xmas I got damn near every single GI Joe and he got one. Didnt stop him from coming over and completely dominate me like he did every time we played GI Joe, but that was because of the simple fact that he could kick my ass. That is another story all together. Well this year I was having trouble coming up with anything that I need or want until my buddy dues sent me this link. Below you will see a chimp riding a segway. It dawned on me that there are two things I need, a chimp, as an ultimate companion, someone who I will help me play endless practical jokes with and possible replace my current roommate who believe me is as worthless as a chimp. The second thing would be a segway, mans greatest invention, eliminating the need to walk. Now I know you are telling yourself Browne, you are already the most lazy person I know. Is a segway really something you need. To that I answer, ummm I would excercise more if I didnt have to burn all that energy driving those 5 blocks to the gym. Answer=segway!!! Quick question to any law enforcement readers, is it possible to get a DUI on a segway because if it is not it basically pays for itself. Anyways Santa if you are listening, hook a brother up!