So Let Me Get This Straight. You Are A Complete Loser and You are All Covered in Vomit, Have I Covered All the Pertinent Facts?

Well first and fore most as you probably have already noticed the blog is undergoing some changes. C$$$$ and I were really letting this blog slip, mainly because we are busy, or maybe just the fact that we have used all of our creatize ideas for posts so we are left grasping for any link that may get a chuckle. I am glad to have my cousin TK who has been a long time poster on this blog anyways. He is basically the smartest guy I know, and his posts should be easily distinguishable from those of mine and C$$$s. He is a new father and I think it will be fun for all of us to follow the trials and tribulations of a first time daddy. Our other new contribuitor, is Aaron Kempf, a life long friend of C$$$ and a friend of mine for about 10 years now I think. Kempf is always sending us new music, movie and video links, and as I will say has his ears a little bit closer to the street than I do. I always love listening to the ISH he sends me, and look forward to his contributions.

Now you are probably wondering about the title to this post and I am going to get to that. I have been hearing a lot of shit. Like Browne whats up why havent you told any really crazy stories about you drinking to much and tales and follies that ensue. Well to be honest with you I am in a relationship, and am trying to slowly turn the chapter on the getting completely shitfaced and doing something stupid stage of my life. Still dont think that I have completely changed my ways, I just chose to keep some things a little closer to the vest. Why, I am not really sure. I dont think my girl friend reads this at all. I just think I am not quite as fun as i once was. At any rate I do have a funny story to share.

This weekend was one I was looking forward to for a while as my Dad and I had been working on the house every weekend for the past month or so and this weekend he was going bow hunting so I didnt have any responsibilities to worry about. Usually that means I start drinking about five and dont get done until I am passed out on some strange couch. My brother was home from school and my dad did a big fish fry for him. I went to my parents house and started drinking beer and wine with my mom and dad. When i left around 8 or so I was feeling pretty good. I went to a couple of old friends from Marshall's house and had a few more beers while we reminisced and I admired there baby, before heading down to the bar. The bar was pretty lame, but it didnt stop me from drinking pretty hard. We decided to go on a little tour and went to waterloo but that was even more lame than Marshall so we came back. At this point it is about 12 and I am just a mess. I mean i feel invincible at this point and I just want to turn it up a notch. My friend Jake decided to take us back because he had to work in the morning so we got back to SP and decided to go down to the BA for a little night cap. Now i had only spent $25 during the time I spent in Marshall and Waterloo. Which was roughly about 4 hours. During the hour and half I was at the Bowling Alley I spent damn near $75 all of which were on shots or double whisky waters. Yes my decision making was pour. We pounded shot after shot while I was crushing the high score I set last week in my favorite trivia game. Before I knew it was time to go home. I got home and I was crashing hard. I basically laid on the couch and was out within 5 minutes. I woke up around 6 am and I wasnt feeling to hot. I grabbed the water bottle on the table and slammed. As soon as I set the water down I knew that was a mistake and felt my stomach turn. I knew what was about to happen was not good and I got up and started to run to the bathroom. I got right in front of the door to go outside, and I lost it. I put up my hands as some sort of puke catcher but that only sprayed my vomit on the door and sidewalls not to mention funnel it down right below me. I was still basically running towards the bathroom. What really sucked was because I puked on my synthetic floors they became super slippery. While I was running my legs both shot out from under me and I slammed on my back. Mind you I have two handfuls of puke in my hand which basically get thrown right back in my own face. So there I lay, on my back, covered from head to toe in puke. In my mind it cant get any worse, I really want to start crying because I feel like absolute shit, all i can smell is a terrible comination of wine, whisky, and dad's homemade cole slaw. I pick myself of the deck and make it the bathroom where I punish the toilet for a few minutes before stripping down and hopping in the shower. Now the ruckess of the fall must have woken up my roommate. He hit it hard with me the night before and needed to get a glass of water. What he didnt realized is the hall to the kitchen had just been vomitted, well he doing his near best Browne impersonation also slipped in the puke pile. Although he didnt, go down. He realized what he was standing in and immediately headed for the bathroom where he kicks open the door and sees me in the shower. Mind you it is 6 am and we are both completely hammered. We have this really smart conversation about me being sick and puking and he just laughs at my stupidity. For the next hour and half I am cleaning up puke and washing my clothes, before passing out until 1 pm. When I awoke again I wasnt sure if that had really happened but aaron quickly reminded me of what went down. Now I am a pretty notorius puker but i had gone at least 6 months with out puking before this weekend. What a way to get back on the horse. Anyways Saturday and Sunday I pretty much took it easy because i was hurting from Friday night. I cant do it like I used to and when I try I pay. Well I paid in the worse way Saturday morning.