Friday, September 21, 2007

Ben Sheets has Down Syndrom...Pussy

This is my Friday fuck off message to Ben Sheets. Hey Benny boy how’s the hammy? Little tender huh, I bet. Looks like you really pinched er’ out there. Yeah, you better nurse that sucker…what’s that? Yeah it is a good thing your teammates don’t really need you right now, so you will have plenty of time and make a run to Walgreen’s and get a fresh box of Kotex. You know for the bleed ing vagina of yours. Yeah so what if you are regarded as the Brewers “Ace” in the bullpen. I mean what does “Ace” really mean. In my mind “Ace” means something that is really cool or hip. So really you are “Ace’n” the shit out of the bullpen. I mean it seems that everyone thinks you’re a real good guy to have in the clubhouse, your funny you like to drink beers with the bros, a real motivator. You are a real “Ace”! Well Ben here is what I think of your worthless ass. In my opinion your career as the “Ace” pitcher for the Brewers has really Fred Dursted! I mean at first you were this super bad ass pitcher winning games totally rockin’ it...then when we really need you as the “Ace” your fucking injured ALL THE TIME! I don’t know how people can honestly say that “Oh, only if we had Sheets right now it would be a whole different series.” How can anyone really believe that, he hasn’t played enough in the last 2 years to really prove to anyone that he is worth the paycheck.
Now for all you nay sayers, I do know that is hard to call a guy pussy when it isn’t my finger that is blistered and hamstring’s suck to pull. Everyone has a different pain threshold, But come the fuck on! You are a professional athlete this is why you work out in the off-season and pay your fucking trainers big bucks. And all for what so in the middle of September when the Milwaukee Brewers, the FUCKING MILWAUKEE BREWERS are in a pennant race a half game out of first (at the time he ripped his vagina) you tear your vaginal walls in the second inning. I hate you Ben Sheets, I wish you would go away. You are the biggest let down of all time next to Fred Durst and that fucking bitch Jenny in Seventh grade that I wanted to bang so hard and dragged me around by the tip of my dick then only to go out with Harper, god what the fuck! Well Ben Sheets you are my Jenny and I hate you for eternity!

4 comments:

Harps said...

Holy shit this is great!! for years i have taken shit about worthless Wood and pussy Prior. Wow now that can be put to rest by all the brewer fans out there (more this year then ever) ((BUSSAN))But all i can say is relax, it will get better, look we are in that same pennant race and its been a few years since our "star" pitchers have been in the spot light. Prior is bangen dudes in triple A and wood gives us a few innings a week. My advice is to trade him NOW while you can still get something for him, trust me!! Anyway pulling the jenny bomb was very unexpected but a nice treat to see. God i love ben sheets but i have to admit my favorite is that great pitcher Turnblow, he does so much for my cubbies i would just like to take this time to thank him for everything he has done

C-Weed said...

i would like to take this time, to tell you to blow me! I hate the cubs worse than ben sheets and goatface turnblow and jenny combined!

Big Tasty said...

Harper,

First of all Ben Sheets made more starts this year, than Wood and Prior combined the last 3 years. Secondly, I was willing to live with the fact that you are an eagles fan, and even the fact that you like those Wolverines. This is just crossing the line though. It does explain the reason behind the lovable loser moniker your cubbies have. It seems that you have to be a loser, or a fag to love a team like the Cubs. I mean I am sure you will say, I loved watching Mark Grace, Shawn Dunston, Andre Dawson, and Ryan Sandberg, but how could you grow up in Wisconsin during the 80s and not be a Brewers fan. Let me guess you are a Roy Williams and Tarheel fan as well. I wouldnt doubt it.

Harps said...

Harpers little RANT!!!

I just want to take some time and get some shit off my chest, i am doing so hopeing that a lot of our friends know about this blog and love and read it daily like have have growen to.
Fuck all of u!! I mean this in the most harmful way.
I am so sick of everyone makeing all there little comments and asking the famous question "why do u like that team" I have explained a number of times why i am a fan of the teams i love so much. Im not a wisconsin fan so get the fuck over it. Who the fuck ever said u have to like the teams of where u live. I understand why people do but i can understan why people dont.
I love and have more passion for my teams then a lot of peopl do for theres or anything for that matter. I have never jumped ship and have cheered and cried through out the years and that has not changed or will not.
I swear i think some of u douches would rather see my team lose then your team win just so i can get all the calls or texts that say the same shit like u are the first one to tell me that michigan lost to a god damn d-1AA (GRUNEY) But i can handel it, really its cool i love a good shit talking when it comes to sports. And that is where i have to give some of you my thanks. I like it when the other person knows what they are talking about and can back it up, u have know idea how dumb a person is untill u step into my world at the BA. I swear have these people that come in still think Holmgren is your coach and Yount just got his 3000 hit. its fucking ridiculas!!
I know i rambel on but i guess thats what rants are for. So please please talk your shit with me but enough of that same ass tired question. those who know me best know why i cheer for the cubbies, the maze and blue and those birds.