Monday, February 19, 2007

Lets get "fucked up"


In anticipation to my return to the drinking scene I would like to post a few blogs to reiterate why I drank in the first place. Like the hilarious comedian Katt Williams would say, "white people do not care what they drink when the go out the only worry about what they say when the leave the door. I am going to get fucked up tonight!" Well I agree with you Katt I drink to get fucked up. Getting "fucked up" is fun as hell. It is great for doing shit you normally wouldnt like dancing, making out with fat chicks, or destructing anything in your path. It helps you get in touch with your emotions. Hell I have had some of my most interesting heart to hearts with people that are either "fucked up" or wondering how i got so "fucked up". It is also great to mess with people that are "fucked up", like drawing on there face, shaving there head, or the classic antiquing. Just remember a few things. You will do things you will regret and no matter how drunk you are using the excuse that you were too drunk, or I dont remember doing that is not a valid excuse. It may be true but you are the dumbass that put yourself in that situation. You cannot be angry at your friends for fucking with you when you are drunk. Again you put yourself in that situation they shouldnt babysit . Instead go by my motto dont get mad get even. If you boy takes your chinese food that you ordered and puts it all over your face because you were too drunk to eat it. Dont be pissed about there is no point and it probably served up a lot of laughter for those involved. Last but not least remember this you can hurt people very badly by your actions when you are "fucked up" so try not to put yourself in those situations. Like asking your cousin to give you a ride home in his Honda Pilot and then puking all over his leather interior. With that being said here is a story about a time when I got a little too "fucked up".

My second senior year was wild, as it should be, I was finishing school and I knew the days of having nothing to worry about except how much booze you can mix with weed before you pass out were nearly over. So I wanted to make the most of it. I was getting into the bad habit of being "that guy". I dont need to explain this but lets just say I could not function after a certain time in the night and that was usually about 2 oclock. My friend Noel was great about coming to visit me at school but come to think of it I never remember actually hanging out with him while he was down. I always got too drunk, got lost, and ended passing out before we could meet up. Well he usually came back to my place to find me in this state and realize this was the perfect opportunity to fuck with me. Well one night he did just that. I was passed out in my room and he decided to dump a glass of water on me. Just water right no problem. Well that may be true unless that water is used as a sticking agent for the fucking bag of flour that is poured on your head. I did not wake up through any of this even though I faintly remember my roommate mark telling noel that he didnt know if he should dump the flour because I would be really really pissed. Well my GF at the time was great at taking care of me when I put myself in these situations. She came over and saw the carnage and woke me up wiped the flour off the bed and let me sleep in peace. Well to thank her for all of her troubles what did I do, well simple I peed on her. She woke me up again this time to tell me that I was peeing on her and I needed to go to the bathroom. She stripped my sheets made the bed and let me go back a sleep again. Sara if you read this thanks because you handled that like a true champ and you had every right to knee me in the nuts. Well the next morning I woke up feeling like shit and I was filled in to why my room was so dirty and why i was sleeping without a sheet on my bed. I have nothing but the story from that night, which was filled in for me the next day, but I will always have that. Getting "fucked up" is really fun and I plan on looking back at all of these stories and saying wow we dont really party like that anymore. However there is a reason for that one I want to live to be forty, two not knowing what you are doing is not a good idea so you should try and avoid those situations, and lastly you can have as much fun by toning it down a few notches and not being that "guy". Well I know there really is no moral to this storty except maybe this. Getting "fucked up" has taught me what a good time is and what a bad time is for me and my friends and you have a choice of limiting those bad times by controlling how much you drink. I hope that the time away from drinking will allow me to do just that.

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